Today in History.

0079
Mount Vesuvius erupts destroying Pompeii, Stabiae, Herculaneum and other smaller settlements.
0410
German barbarians sack Rome.
1542
In South America, Gonzalo Pizarro returns to the mouth of the Amazon River after having sailed the length of the great river as far as the Andes Mountains.
1572
Some 50,000 people are put to death in the ‘Massacre of St. Bartholomew’ as Charles IX of France attempts to rid the country of Huguenots.
1780
King Louis XVI abolishes torture as a means to get suspects to confess.
1814
British troops under General Robert Ross capture Washington, D.C., which they set on fire in retaliation for the American burning of the parliament building in York (Toronto), the capital of Upper Canada.
1847
Charlotte Bronte, using the pseudonym Currer Bell, sends a manuscript of Jane Eyre to her publisher in London.
1869
Cornelius Swarthout of Troy, New York, patents the waffle iron.
1891
Thomas Edison files a patent for the motion picture camera.
1894
Congress passes the first graduated income tax law, which is declared unconstitutional the next year.
1896
Thomas Brooks is shot and killed by an unknown assailant beginning a six year feud with the McFarland family.
1912
By an act of Congress, Alaska is given a territorial legislature of two houses.
1942
In the Battle of the Eastern Solomons, the third carrier-versus-carrier battle of the war, U.S. naval forces defeat a Japanese force attempting to screen reinforcements for the Guadalcanal fighting.
1948
Edith Mae Irby becomes the first African-American student to attend the University of Arkansas.
1954
Congress outlaws the Communist Party in the United States.
1963
US State Department cables embassy in Saigon that if South Vietnam's president Ngo Dinh Diem does not remove his brother Ngo Dinh Nhu as his political adviser the US would explore alternative leadership, setting the stage for a coup by ARVN generals.
1975
The principal leaders of Greece's 1967 coup—Georgios Papadopoulos, Stylianos Pattakos, and Nikolaos Maarezos—sentenced to death for high treason, later commuted to life in prison.
1981
Mark David Chapman sentenced to 20 years to life for murdering former Beatles band member John Lennon.
1989
Baseball commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti bans Pete Rose from baseball for gambling.
1989
Colombian drug lords declare "total and absolute war" on Colombia's government, booming the offices of two political parties and burning two politicians' homes.

1991
Mikhail Gorbachev resigns as head of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union; Ukraine declares its independence from USSR.
1992
Hurricane Andrew makes landfall in Florida. The Category 5 storm, which had already caused extensive damage in the Bahamas, caused $26.5 billion in US damages, caused 65 deaths, and felled 70,000 acres of trees in the Everglades.
1994
Israel and the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO) create initial accord regarding partial self-rule for Palestinians living on the West Bank, the Agreement on Preparatory Transfer of Powers and Responsibilities.
2004
Chechnyan suicide bombers blow up two airliners near Moscow, killing 89 passengers.
2006
Pluto is downgraded to a dwarf planet when the International Astronomical Union (IAU) redefines "planet."

2010
The Mexican criminal syndicate Los Zetas kills 72 illegal immigrants from Central and South America in San Fernando, Tamaulipas, Mexico.

Joke of the Day.

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."

This post was edited on 8/24/21 at 4:02 am