- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
GMT
Posted on 12/3/23 at 4:13 am
Posted on 12/3/23 at 4:13 am
Morning all
JOTD
A detective was once called to a farm in rural Tennessee to investigate a murder. [OC]
Upon arriving, he asked the farmer what had happened.
“Well” the farmer said, “I was working in my barn, replacing the oil filter on the tractor when I heard somebody scream, then a loud ‘wham’, and then silence. I rushed outside and saw my farmhand, dead in the middle of the yard, with a pool of blood forming around his head”
“Hmmm” said the detective, “any witnesses who might have seen what happened?”
“There weren’t any people around, but there was my old faithful cow Mary, my trusty farm dog Darren, my horse, Geoffrey, and a couple of sheep, Michael and George. When I asked them who did it, they just looked accusingly at each other”
“Right” the detective said, jumping to his feet “There’s only one way to get to the bottom of this - a battle of the bands”
The farmer was perplexed, but the detective had a fearsome reputation in the area for solving the hardest of crimes, where everyone else had given up. So, a few hours later, they reconvened in the yard where the farmer had built a makeshift stage as the animals bemusedly looked down at their instruments.
Mary the cow and Darren the dog were up first, with Mary singing so beautifully that the farmer and detective were brought to tears, while Darren accompanied on guitar.
Next, Geoffrey the horse strode onto stage and performed a flawless rendition of Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1. The farmer turned to the detective with tears in his eyes and said “surely, something so beautiful couldn’t have come from a murderer”.
Finally, at their turn, the sheep leapt onto stage, resplendent in sequinned jumpsuits and started tap dancing with incredible zeal. They leapt through the air, their sequins spinning like a rainbow in the night sky, tumbled, turned and kicked with unimaginable agility. But yet… something wasn’t right. Their movements didn’t match the music - sometimes they were ahead of the beat, sometimes behind.
“Stop!” yelled the detective. “We have our murderers! George, Michael - you’re never going to dance again!”
“But… how… how did you know?” asked the farmer incredulously.
“Quite simple really” said the detective and then, turning back to the sheep “Guilty sheep have got no rhythm”.
JOTD
A detective was once called to a farm in rural Tennessee to investigate a murder. [OC]
Upon arriving, he asked the farmer what had happened.
“Well” the farmer said, “I was working in my barn, replacing the oil filter on the tractor when I heard somebody scream, then a loud ‘wham’, and then silence. I rushed outside and saw my farmhand, dead in the middle of the yard, with a pool of blood forming around his head”
“Hmmm” said the detective, “any witnesses who might have seen what happened?”
“There weren’t any people around, but there was my old faithful cow Mary, my trusty farm dog Darren, my horse, Geoffrey, and a couple of sheep, Michael and George. When I asked them who did it, they just looked accusingly at each other”
“Right” the detective said, jumping to his feet “There’s only one way to get to the bottom of this - a battle of the bands”
The farmer was perplexed, but the detective had a fearsome reputation in the area for solving the hardest of crimes, where everyone else had given up. So, a few hours later, they reconvened in the yard where the farmer had built a makeshift stage as the animals bemusedly looked down at their instruments.
Mary the cow and Darren the dog were up first, with Mary singing so beautifully that the farmer and detective were brought to tears, while Darren accompanied on guitar.
Next, Geoffrey the horse strode onto stage and performed a flawless rendition of Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1. The farmer turned to the detective with tears in his eyes and said “surely, something so beautiful couldn’t have come from a murderer”.
Finally, at their turn, the sheep leapt onto stage, resplendent in sequinned jumpsuits and started tap dancing with incredible zeal. They leapt through the air, their sequins spinning like a rainbow in the night sky, tumbled, turned and kicked with unimaginable agility. But yet… something wasn’t right. Their movements didn’t match the music - sometimes they were ahead of the beat, sometimes behind.
“Stop!” yelled the detective. “We have our murderers! George, Michael - you’re never going to dance again!”
“But… how… how did you know?” asked the farmer incredulously.
“Quite simple really” said the detective and then, turning back to the sheep “Guilty sheep have got no rhythm”.
This post was edited on 12/3/23 at 4:17 am
23
Posted on 12/3/23 at 4:14 am to dyslexiateechur
Good morning. Great win for us last night. We still don't make the playoffs..
This post was edited on 12/3/23 at 4:18 am
Posted on 12/3/23 at 4:20 am to dyslexiateechur
Morning Teech, B&B.
Posted on 12/3/23 at 4:22 am to Bama and Beer
quote:
We still don't make the playoffs.
Posted on 12/3/23 at 4:35 am to dyslexiateechur
Mawnin y’all 
Posted on 12/3/23 at 4:42 am to dyslexiateechur
Mornin
This post was edited on 12/3/23 at 4:43 am
Posted on 12/3/23 at 4:52 am to dyslexiateechur
Today in History December 3
1586
Sir Thomas Herriot introduces potatoes to England from Colombia
1676
Battle of Lund (Scanian War): Swedish army of 8,000 defeats much larger joint Danish/Dutch force of 13,000
1762
France cedes to Spain all lands west of the Mississippi--the territory known as Upper Louisiana.
1918
The Allied Conference ends in London where they decide that Germany must pay for the war.
1989
Presidents George Bush and Mikhail Gorbachev announce the official end to the Cold War at a meeting in Malta. I fought in this war
1992
A test engineer for Sema Group sends the world's first text message, using a personal computer and the Vodafone network.
1992
The Greek oil tanker Aegean Sea, carrying 80,000 tonnes of crude oil, runs aground in a storm while approaching La Coruña, Spain, and spills much of its cargo
1997
Representatives of 121 nations sign the Ottawa Treaty prohibiting the manufacture or deployment of antipersonnel landmines; the People's Republic of China, the US and the USSR do not sign.
2019
Kamala Harris ends her campaign to be the Democratic candidate for president
2020
AT&T Inc’s Warner Bros studio announces all its 2021 movies will stream online the same day they appear in theatres because of the pandemic
2020
“I actually believe they’re going to be the most difficult time in the public health history of this nation,” warns Dr. Robert Redfield, head of US CDC about the months ahead with COVID-19
2022
Former US President Donald Trump call for "termination" of all rules including US Constitution in a Truth Social post, so to overturn the 2020 election, which he again falsely claims that he won
Born on December 3
1955
Warren Jeffs, American convicted polygamist
1960
Daryl Hannah, actress (Blade Runner, Steel Magnolias).Clan of the cave bear
1968
Brendan Fraser(55th Birthday)1968 American actor (Encino Man; The Mummy films; Gods and Monsters), born in Indianapolis, Indiana
Joke of the day
Jack strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream heyhey the way to get him to go is to scream Thank God. Jim nodded his head, “fine with me, can I take him for a test run?”
Jim was having the time of his life this horse sure could run he thought to himself. Jim was speeding down the dirt road when he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead “stop!” screamed Jim, but the horse kept on going. No matter how much he tried he could not remember the words to get it to stop. “yoyo” screamed Jim but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. It was 5 feet from the cliff when Jim suddenly remembered “heyhey!” Jim screamed. The horse skidded to a halt just 1 inch from the cliff. Jim could not believe his good fortune, he looked up to the sky, raise his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said with conviction “Thank God.”
Posted on 12/3/23 at 5:07 am to dyslexiateechur
Morning Folks!
Posted on 12/3/23 at 5:22 am to LSUDad
Moanin' Err'body!
Posted on 12/3/23 at 5:36 am to dyslexiateechur
Morning, y’all.
I just took Lulu for a drag around the corner. Was hoping it would turn into a walk at some point but no luck today. Big gurh has to lose some weight at some point.
Someone catch me up.
I just took Lulu for a drag around the corner. Was hoping it would turn into a walk at some point but no luck today. Big gurh has to lose some weight at some point.
Someone catch me up.
Posted on 12/3/23 at 5:55 am to LSUGrrrl
quote:
Someone catch me up.
Winter is coming
Posted on 12/3/23 at 6:00 am to dyslexiateechur
Morning all
Posted on 12/3/23 at 6:01 am to dyslexiateechur
Yawn… good morning
Posted on 12/3/23 at 6:07 am to dyslexiateechur
Good Morning Everybody 
B&B y’all are in. Think we are going to the beach today
B&B y’all are in. Think we are going to the beach today
Posted on 12/3/23 at 6:11 am to Armymann50
Who controls the past, controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.
Posted on 12/3/23 at 6:21 am to Armymann50
quote:
Presidents George Bush and Mikhail Gorbachev announce the official end to the Cold War at a meeting in Malta. I fought in this war
I was out of high school about 5 years and watched on TV. I was old enough to be mentally involved in watching politics at the time so I understood the significance.
And thanks you to baw.
Morning good people of the OT.
Posted on 12/3/23 at 6:24 am to Armymann50
quote:
Winter is coming
Thank God.
Posted on 12/3/23 at 6:25 am to dyslexiateechur
Good morning everybody.
Posted on 12/3/23 at 6:27 am to dyslexiateechur
Posted on 12/3/23 at 6:30 am to dyslexiateechur
Good morning
Page 1 of 4
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News