re: Give up wife or career. Update Page 5

A good wife is way better than a good career. Of course, if you have both, no need to choose.

A good career is better than a terrible wife, but it’s all about the details.

Suppose your career is not just a job, but a real extension of who you are: an artist, a preacher, an athlete, etc. That would make a big difference.

Suppose the wife is not just a run of the mill depressive or someone who’s just in a bad place, but a hardcore addict, or a serial cheater, etc.? No brainer.

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I’m not giving up either. It’s just a hypothetical. I have a great wife and career.

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I don't believe you

Career. That was easy.

well I’m proud of the twenty or so posters in this thread that appreciate their wives

career.

for a lot reasons. mainly due to how much i love my wife.


career because i feel like i shortchanged or handicapped myself in college by taking the easiest route to a degree and a white collar job by getting an CIS/MIS degree. 10 years in and i'm just not as passionate about the nitty gritty technical work. I mean I've been with the same company for 10 years and it more than pays the bills. I'm extremely blessed to have my career. BUT

i wish i had an engineering degree and a job that was a little more hands on, instead of sitting in Skype meetings all day with IT nerds and shitty managers.

and i feel like if for whatever reason i said enough is enough and walked away from my job, the wife would support that decision as long as it made financial sense at the time.

damn, sounds like a pretty great fricking life to me.

I was actually forced to make this choice. I gave up the wife.

Marriage was already in a bad place.

I do not believe in bending to a person that would put you to an ultimatum.

I am pretty sure wanted out anyway and used what she knew about my personality in her calculus when putting me to the decision.

In other words it gave her cover to what she wanted to do anyway. 99% confident it was ending divorce at some point regardless of the job.

Engineering

I gave up a very unsupportive wife who was unwilling to make the necessary sacrifices I needed to advance my career. However, I gave her up for numerous other reasons.
Now I have a very supportive wife and my career has flourished since we've been together. It's not a coincidence either considering we are now making the 2nd move for my job.

Ironically, my ex is still in the exact same position that she started in directly after college 16 years ago. No advancement at all.

It's an easy answer. If she's making you/him give it up then leave her. The fact that she's asking this shows a lot. A career can be bent to fit life. Change cities or places inside your area. This goes way deeper than a job I'd presume.