re: Funny/Stupid Things You Thought As a Kid...

That hors d'oeuvres was pronounced how it is spelled. It never occurred to me to think about how "orderves" was actually spelled, so I just assumed it was something different in cooking.

That it was ok for me to drink at the colored water fountain

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He also told me he could turn the dome light on in our Cutlass by pointing his finger at it.

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Similarly, when I was about 3 or 4, my dad told me that the car told him when to turn left or right via the blinker indicator on the dash. I think he did this when I wanted to stop somewhere on the way home, like the playground or to get an icee, but, "the car says we have to go this way", which was home. At first I believed him, but it didn't take me long to figure out how he was doing it.

Also, I was a kid when the Vietnam War was going on AND there were Planet of the Apes movies in theaters, so I thought newscasters were saying "gorilla warfare" and I pictured bandolier-wearing and machine gun-toting great apes in the jungles of Vietnam.

Sort of like this:

loved home improvement as a kid and whenever i saw a limo i figured it was probably tim allen. one time i saw 2 as we were leaving kids eat free night at sicily's and i was like "dang i bet al's with him"

i also thought al from home improvement, johnathan frakes, and mens wearhouse were all the same guy.

i thought the president was in charge of mcdonalds. something about the all-american team confused me i think.

my childhood mcdonalds had a little nook in the drivethrough behind an iron gate where they kept the mop & bucket. i thought it was a jail for people that stole burgers.

When I was young my mom would cook chicken. My parents and/or older brother would always get the breasts. I wanted a breast and my mom told me to have a breast o'thigh. I ate breast o'thighs until I was probably 10 before they told me it was just a thigh.

When I was around 3 years old or so, I was working on digging a hole to China. I would go outside pretty much every day in the little dirt strip next to our fence, and dig with a spoon.
Our next door neighbor was an older guy and he'd sit in his porch swing and talk to me while I worked, he was almost like a third grandfather.

I thought that when adults were going to the bank, they were just getting free money. So whenever my parents or grandma complained about not having money. I would always ask why didn't they just go back to the bank and ask for more money. My grandma would tell me that's not how it worked. She doesn't have anymore money. I would try to remind her that it's not her money it's the banks. Just say please and ask nicely.

I thought that all adults knew everything, and that they were always right. I don't remember what it was exactly. But the first time I noticed my teacher said something that was a direct contradiction to something I've heard my mom say. I was very confused for a bit.

I thought wrestling was real for a good bit. Rocked my world to find out it wasn't in 6th grade.

When watching TV at home. I thought that everything I was watching was live. So to see my same cartoons playing episode and episode over and over. I figured the TV people must be really tired. Probably about age 5 or so.

On a darker note, I wanted to know why during 9/11, that the people didn't just take a helicopter and start pouring water on top of the towers. I just knew I cracked the code, and couldn't figure out why the people were to stupid to figure that out.

I didn’t think my best friend Chester was joking when he said “toss me the lawn dart”.

RIP Chester

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I thought Tracy Chapman "gimme one reason" was a dude until I was almost 30

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Wait what?