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Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:12 pm to toosleaux
I've done it with my dad. Mixed results ultimately but it gives you some peace to move forward and focus on the things that are within your control. In my case, I was dealing with a narcissist which was just a no win proposition and a waste of energy. It's them, not you. They'll have their day of judgement and it's not up to you to make them see how much wrong they've done because they'll always be able to spin and compartmentalize things. He told me years later that he had pretty much blown it off and assumed that a counselor had convinced me of an inaccurate version of the things that really happened. I gave a detailed description of several examples and he simply didn't recall at all. Just a total blind spot. Really weird how things that can have a profound impact on you personally can be nothing more than a blip on the radar of a narcissist.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:13 pm to toosleaux
I’ve been there. It’s not easy,but can give yourself a lot of releif. My ex wife left me for one of my friends. It was driving me nuts. I even sat in the bean field one night and had the crosshairs on his left ear. Glad I didn’t have the guts to kill him. I don’t go to church as often as I should but I asked God to take both of them MFers out of my head because I was no good to Him,myself or my kid’s while I let them MFers control every thought. He took it from me.
Fast forward 25 years. I became friends again with the bastard. He is still a POS. He interfered with a fishing spot I had. I hope he dies in a fire or eats a bullet like his Dad did.
This post was edited on 7/30/18 at 12:13 pm
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:14 pm to toosleaux
I believe it’s possible to make yourself better off by letting go of whatever it is to a certain degree without forgiving the person responsible.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:16 pm to toosleaux
Never...
Or maybe a grace period, but once the statute of limitations has expired, F that person.
Or maybe a grace period, but once the statute of limitations has expired, F that person.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:18 pm to toosleaux
What have these people done to make yall hate them so much?
I've been really pissed and upset with people but I've always been able to over that stuff
I've been really pissed and upset with people but I've always been able to over that stuff
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:22 pm to toosleaux
I have had some things happen to me the past 4-5 years that have completely changed my perspective on life and with that came an apology tour. The initial phone calls to a lot of people were hard to swallow but I felt better after, and though it's not the same with some of them, things are better now and I am on speaking terms with a few of them where as we were not before. It feels good and I am overall a much happier person and way more easy going and me apologizing has a lot to do with it I think.
Side note, it amazes me the people that are in church every Sunday and claim to be Christian yet they are the biggest backstabbers I know. I have a few family members like this and I have pretty much cut them out of my life due to the negativity and them trying to bring me down the same path. I try to only surround myself with positive people these days. Life is too short for the other BS I learned.
Side note, it amazes me the people that are in church every Sunday and claim to be Christian yet they are the biggest backstabbers I know. I have a few family members like this and I have pretty much cut them out of my life due to the negativity and them trying to bring me down the same path. I try to only surround myself with positive people these days. Life is too short for the other BS I learned.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:29 pm to toosleaux
Holding a resentment against someone, is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die.
It is just hurting you in the end. I battled with that for a while.
It is just hurting you in the end. I battled with that for a while.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:34 pm to atxfan
quote:
I gave a detailed description of several examples and he simply didn't recall at all. Just a total blind spot.
I've seen this on Reddit a bunch, and it fits pretty well.
A Narcissist's Prayer
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did...
You deserved it.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:48 pm to toosleaux
The way I feel about it is this, If someone hurts you and you hang on to that hurt, then ultimately you have allowed that person's actions to change you. I dont believe that anyone who has anything less than your best interests at heart should have that kind of power over you, and that people who change you should only be allowed that if it changes you for the better. Is this person worthy of making you a harder more angry person? Do they deserve to color the way you see people who come into your life? If the answer to that is no, then you have to take control back, and be the person you want to be, and let that shite go. forever.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:49 pm to toosleaux
Forgiveness is for you.. not them.
Why let a person live rent free in your head harming you over and over?
Time to evict them!
Why let a person live rent free in your head harming you over and over?
Time to evict them!
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:52 pm to toosleaux
Forgive your enemies but never forget their names.
JFK
JFK
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:01 pm to toosleaux
There is one person I really truly hate. And it really has been a situation in which time has been the only thing that has given me inner peace. There are times, here and there, in which something comes up and that person makes me turn into someone I am not, but I think we all have our own definition of forgiveness and for me, it is something that happens over time.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:03 pm to OweO
quote:
There is one person I really truly hate.
Owl?
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:04 pm to toosleaux
nope. in fact the list of people i hate grows every day.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:05 pm to toosleaux
You can forgive someone without letting them back into your life, but dwelling on the hatred does no good. It's better to resolve the issue then never think about the fricker again.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:05 pm to toosleaux
How bout just forgive them in your own mind? You don’t actually have to tell them about it.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:08 pm to toosleaux
I forgive the person and try not to hate them. Usually hate what they did moreso. Just make sure they stay where they are in my life from then on, non-existent.
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:09 pm to MorbidTheClown
quote:
nope. in fact the list of people i hate grows every day.
Totally agree - and frick them all to hell!
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:12 pm to Count Chocula
no need to forgive them, i just cut them out of my life and move on
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