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re: Forgiving the person you hate the most

Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:12 pm to
Posted by Wtodd
Tampa, FL
Member since Oct 2013
68603 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:12 pm to
quote:

Forgiving the person you hate the most

Yes....you gotta let it go
Posted by atxfan
Member since Jul 2004
4232 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:12 pm to
I've done it with my dad. Mixed results ultimately but it gives you some peace to move forward and focus on the things that are within your control. In my case, I was dealing with a narcissist which was just a no win proposition and a waste of energy. It's them, not you. They'll have their day of judgement and it's not up to you to make them see how much wrong they've done because they'll always be able to spin and compartmentalize things. He told me years later that he had pretty much blown it off and assumed that a counselor had convinced me of an inaccurate version of the things that really happened. I gave a detailed description of several examples and he simply didn't recall at all. Just a total blind spot. Really weird how things that can have a profound impact on you personally can be nothing more than a blip on the radar of a narcissist.
Posted by Bigfishchoupique
Member since Jul 2017
9665 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:13 pm to
I’ve been there. It’s not easy,but can give yourself a lot of releif. My ex wife left me for one of my friends. It was driving me nuts. I even sat in the bean field one night and had the crosshairs on his left ear. Glad I didn’t have the guts to kill him. I don’t go to church as often as I should but I asked God to take both of them MFers out of my head because I was no good to Him,myself or my kid’s while I let them MFers control every thought. He took it from me. Fast forward 25 years. I became friends again with the bastard. He is still a POS. He interfered with a fishing spot I had. I hope he dies in a fire or eats a bullet like his Dad did.
This post was edited on 7/30/18 at 12:13 pm
Posted by SelaTiger
Member since Aug 2016
21951 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:14 pm to
I believe it’s possible to make yourself better off by letting go of whatever it is to a certain degree without forgiving the person responsible.
Posted by Count Chocula
Tier 5 and proud
Member since Feb 2009
63908 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:16 pm to
Never...

Or maybe a grace period, but once the statute of limitations has expired, F that person.
Posted by mylsuhat
Mandeville, LA
Member since Mar 2008
50083 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:18 pm to
What have these people done to make yall hate them so much?



I've been really pissed and upset with people but I've always been able to over that stuff
Posted by stout
Porte du Lafitte
Member since Sep 2006
184528 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:22 pm to
I have had some things happen to me the past 4-5 years that have completely changed my perspective on life and with that came an apology tour. The initial phone calls to a lot of people were hard to swallow but I felt better after, and though it's not the same with some of them, things are better now and I am on speaking terms with a few of them where as we were not before. It feels good and I am overall a much happier person and way more easy going and me apologizing has a lot to do with it I think.

Side note, it amazes me the people that are in church every Sunday and claim to be Christian yet they are the biggest backstabbers I know. I have a few family members like this and I have pretty much cut them out of my life due to the negativity and them trying to bring me down the same path. I try to only surround myself with positive people these days. Life is too short for the other BS I learned.
Posted by lsuguy13
RIP MATT
Member since Mar 2004
9509 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:29 pm to
Holding a resentment against someone, is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die.

It is just hurting you in the end. I battled with that for a while.
Posted by Spock's Eyebrow
Member since May 2012
12300 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:34 pm to
quote:

I gave a detailed description of several examples and he simply didn't recall at all. Just a total blind spot.


I've seen this on Reddit a bunch, and it fits pretty well.

A Narcissist's Prayer

That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did...
You deserved it.
Posted by georgia
445
Member since Jan 2007
9229 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:48 pm to
The way I feel about it is this, If someone hurts you and you hang on to that hurt, then ultimately you have allowed that person's actions to change you. I dont believe that anyone who has anything less than your best interests at heart should have that kind of power over you, and that people who change you should only be allowed that if it changes you for the better. Is this person worthy of making you a harder more angry person? Do they deserve to color the way you see people who come into your life? If the answer to that is no, then you have to take control back, and be the person you want to be, and let that shite go. forever.
Posted by pwejr88
Red Stick
Member since Apr 2007
37957 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:49 pm to
Forgiveness is for you.. not them.

Why let a person live rent free in your head harming you over and over?

Time to evict them!
Posted by damnedoldtigah
Middle of Louisiana
Member since Jan 2014
4275 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 12:52 pm to
Forgive your enemies but never forget their names.

JFK
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
122527 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:01 pm to
There is one person I really truly hate. And it really has been a situation in which time has been the only thing that has given me inner peace. There are times, here and there, in which something comes up and that person makes me turn into someone I am not, but I think we all have our own definition of forgiveness and for me, it is something that happens over time.
Posted by Count Chocula
Tier 5 and proud
Member since Feb 2009
63908 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:03 pm to
quote:

There is one person I really truly hate.


Owl?
Posted by MorbidTheClown
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
76780 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:04 pm to
nope. in fact the list of people i hate grows every day.
Posted by RJL2
Bruno's Tavern
Member since Apr 2015
1934 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:05 pm to
You can forgive someone without letting them back into your life, but dwelling on the hatred does no good. It's better to resolve the issue then never think about the fricker again.
Posted by Celery
Nuevo York
Member since Nov 2010
11747 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:05 pm to
How bout just forgive them in your own mind? You don’t actually have to tell them about it.
Posted by FieldMink
Fort Worth
Member since Jul 2017
797 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:08 pm to
I forgive the person and try not to hate them. Usually hate what they did moreso. Just make sure they stay where they are in my life from then on, non-existent.
Posted by Count Chocula
Tier 5 and proud
Member since Feb 2009
63908 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:09 pm to
quote:

nope. in fact the list of people i hate grows every day.


Totally agree - and frick them all to hell!
Posted by MorbidTheClown
Baton Rouge
Member since Jan 2015
76780 posts
Posted on 7/30/18 at 1:12 pm to
no need to forgive them, i just cut them out of my life and move on
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