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For those who got married a 2nd time, how did you do it?

Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:46 pm
Posted by LSUZombie
A Cemetery Near You
Member since Apr 2008
28884 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:46 pm
Looks like I'll be taking the plunge again for a 2nd time, however this time it is with someone I feel will be a great wife and partner for years to come. She and I have both been married before, and both had our "big" weddings. Neither of us care to go through that experience again, and being in our 30s, we would be footing the bill this time.

So a few questions for those who are on spouse #2:

1. Did you buy another engagement ring and have an extended engagement? Or did you just agree to marry and decide on a date? I've heard it done both ways and see the pros and cons for each. She isn't very materialistic at all, so I don't think she would care about getting an engagement ring, but then again I don't really know.

2. For your wedding, was it small with a few friends and family members; or did you go through the entire process again? Keep in mind her and I have both been married before, so we didn't miss out on a wedding day.

Anyway, just wanted to know some thoughts from those who have been there. Looking forward to getting it right the second time around.
Posted by TigerDeacon
West Monroe, LA
Member since Sep 2003
29268 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:48 pm to
You didn't learn your lesson the first time?
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
98132 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:48 pm to
quote:

however this time it is with someone I feel will be a great wife and partner for years to come.


Prayers sent.
Posted by 50_Tiger
Dallas TX
Member since Jan 2016
39978 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:48 pm to
8 pages
Posted by Breesus
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
66982 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:48 pm to
quote:

Looks like I'll be taking the plunge again for a 2nd time, however this time it is with someone I feel will be a great wife and partner for years to come.


How'd you feel the first time dude? Like it wasn't someone would would make a great wife or partner?
Posted by Elle a shoe
Watson, LA
Member since May 2009
844 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:48 pm to
1. Yes engagement ring
2. Small Vegas wedding
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83523 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:49 pm to
quote:

however this time it is with someone I feel will be a great wife and partner for years to come


Posted by Clyde Tipton
Planet Earth
Member since Dec 2007
38725 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:50 pm to
quote:

Looks like I'll be taking the plunge again for a 2nd time



I give it 5 months.
This post was edited on 8/8/17 at 2:51 pm
Posted by Bluefin
The Banana Stand
Member since Apr 2011
13253 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:51 pm to
quote:

Anyway, just wanted to know some thoughts from those who have been there.

I learned the hard way that you should probably wait for the first marriage to end before getting married a second time, but drugs are a hell of a drug.
Posted by LSUZombie
A Cemetery Near You
Member since Apr 2008
28884 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:52 pm to
quote:

How'd you feel the first time dude? Like it wasn't someone would would make a great wife or partner?


We were in our 20s. There were warning signs for years I ignored from her awful upbringing that I thought she would just grow out of as we grew together. That did not happen as time started moving and she became a very different person.

Now, in my 30s, I am with someone who knows what they want in life and her and I are on the same page in regards to the years ahead. It was a painful lesson to learn, but in the end we both feel like we found the person we were supposed to be with the entire time.
Posted by REB BEER
Laffy Yet
Member since Dec 2010
16168 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:52 pm to
Destination wedding at the beach with only close friends
Posted by Geecubed
The Eventual St. George
Member since Apr 2011
425 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:53 pm to
So I married a second time, to someone that surpasses my intellect and is beautiful to boot. It was her first marriage, though. But to answer your questions:

quote:

1. Did you buy another engagement ring and have an extended engagement? Or did you just agree to marry and decide on a date?


I would get her an engagement ring, because it is part of the pomp and circumstance, and you will be looked upon as a cheap bastard if you don't. She may say she doesn't care, but she will want to flaunt a ring around to her friends, coworkers, etc.

quote:

2. For your wedding, was it small with a few friends and family members; or did you go through the entire process again? Keep in mind her and I have both been married before, so we didn't miss out on a wedding day.


Since my second wedding was my wife's first, we had a modest wedding (<125 people, but only that many people because we have HUGE families). I have a friend that recently married her boyfriend, simply because they felt it was right. I think the whole kit-and-kaboodle was roughly a month or so between engagement and wedding, just to give people from out of town enough time to come to the reception/tailgate.

I think you should sit down with your fiancee', and have an honest discussion, and plan it out.
Posted by LSUZombie
A Cemetery Near You
Member since Apr 2008
28884 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:53 pm to
quote:

You didn't learn your lesson the first time?


I'm too young to call it quits...now if this one doesn't work, I'll probably be done. I have a few coworkers who are on marriages 3 and 4. Seems miserable.
Posted by Scooba
Member since Jun 2013
19999 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:53 pm to
It depends.

If it's your second and his first, expect to go through the entire thing again.


This post was edited on 8/8/17 at 3:23 pm
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
123923 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:53 pm to
quote:

however this time it is with someone I feel will be a great wife and partner for years to come


Isn't that what you said the first time?
Posted by el Gaucho
He/They
Member since Dec 2010
52910 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:54 pm to
Just shack up like trashy people and save money on legal fees in a few years. It's not gonna work
Posted by Boudreaux35
BR
Member since Sep 2007
21413 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:54 pm to
quote:

She isn't very materialistic at all, so I don't think she would care about getting an engagement ring,


You're really going with this?

So, when she says "You don't have to get me anything for Xmas/birthday? You aren't going to get her anything?

You're a fricking idiot!
Posted by 777Tiger
Member since Mar 2011
73856 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:55 pm to
quote:

You're really going with this?

So, when she says "You don't have to get me anything for Xmas/birthday? You aren't going to get her anything?

You're a fricking idiot!



dude did not learn a thing from the first go round
Posted by TigrrrDad
Member since Oct 2016
7096 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:55 pm to
Started dating one August, got engaged 2 months later in Octoberr, planned on getting married the following year, then I moved it up to that December because the tax break I would get for being married by year's end would pay for the wedding (yeah, I'm a hopeless romantic). Just rented a small place, did the whole thing there with a justice of the peace and a few dozen people. Ring cost around $5K, entire wedding & reception around $2,500. We had both had big weddings and both marriages ended pretty quickly. No reason to waste all that money on another big wedding.
Posted by LSUZombie
A Cemetery Near You
Member since Apr 2008
28884 posts
Posted on 8/8/17 at 2:57 pm to
quote:

Geecubed


Appreciate the honest feedback.

quote:

I would get her an engagement ring, because it is part of the pomp and circumstance, and you will be looked upon as a cheap bastard if you don't. She may say she doesn't care, but she will want to flaunt a ring around to her friends, coworkers, etc.



Yeah, agreed there

quote:

Since my second wedding was my wife's first, we had a modest wedding


Luckily we both had big weddings so we don't have the desire to go through that or throw a party for other people to enjoy.

quote:

I think you should sit down with your fiancee', and have an honest discussion, and plan it out.


Oh definitely. Her and I communicate. A very big difference from marriage #1
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