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Started By
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re: Fellow divorcees...did you know that your marriage was over, or were you blindsided?
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:41 pm to fallguy_1978
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:41 pm to fallguy_1978
Young, stupid, and knocked her up. Felt marriage was right thing to do for kid. I have never miscalculated something more in my life
0
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:41 pm to Jenious
quote:
and in a relationship.
That doesnt seem to matter.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:45 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
Gradually. And then SUDDENLY all at once. It was both shocking and inevitable. Completely unexpected and yet intuitively felt. Unthinkable and yet completely obvious. A tragedy and a Godsend. For both of us- all of that and much more, what 30 years from being adventurous kids to raising a beautiful family would be. It will always be a tragedy, a romantic comedy, a drama, a suspense, a horror film. Everything. Every human emotion and experience and virtue and sin. That’s what happens when two people who deeply love and build decide to be unloving and destroy. Divorce is EVERYTHING.
Well Pimp Daddy…I gotta say…That was spot on, concise and perfectly described. I could remove 30 and add 24 and that would be 100…Solid post on an otherwise guaranteed 10+ pages of horror show that is surely to follow!
Posted on 8/13/24 at 2:47 pm to YouKnowImRight
quote:
This thread is depressing my girl parents are immigrants who don’t get divorced so hopefully works out for me
quote:
If they don't get divorced, the odds are in your favor.
I took the opposite approach. My wife's parents divorced when she was five and it was rough on her her entire life. I knew she'd invest and work at our marriage in order to save our children for a similar childhood.
27 years later, my thoughts proved true. We've hit rocky sections, but both were always committed to ride it out to reconciliation.
Some brutal stories in here & I hope y'all find happiness on the backside of it all.
This post was edited on 8/13/24 at 2:48 pm
Posted on 8/13/24 at 3:13 pm to Saskwatch
"I'm here for the gangbang!"
Posted on 8/13/24 at 3:16 pm to Kracka
quote:
Well given her past history, it's more likely she'll be dtf while she's in one.
TRUTH.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 3:47 pm to Jenious
My ex is probably reading this but I don't care. 
We separated 2 times over 8 years and it was hard on me. I told my brother that if she ever threatens to split again, I would go straight to an attorney and follow through with her fantasy. Four years ago she gave me the " I think we should give each other space" speech. I laughed and said oh, I'll give you all the damn space you want. I gave her 750k of my retirement and (initially) was paying 3,400/month support. My attorney asked if I was SURE that this is what I wanted.
Looonnnng story relatively short, money was/is not my motivation in life...peace is.
We separated 2 times over 8 years and it was hard on me. I told my brother that if she ever threatens to split again, I would go straight to an attorney and follow through with her fantasy. Four years ago she gave me the " I think we should give each other space" speech. I laughed and said oh, I'll give you all the damn space you want. I gave her 750k of my retirement and (initially) was paying 3,400/month support. My attorney asked if I was SURE that this is what I wanted.
Looonnnng story relatively short, money was/is not my motivation in life...peace is.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 3:50 pm to TrapperJohn
Sounds like trapping pays well.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 3:50 pm to Jenious
quote:
She's...hefty now
Congrats on winning the divorce
Posted on 8/13/24 at 3:53 pm to sta4ever
quote:It may seem like that but most of my peer group and parents at my kid’s school are still married. However these are upper middle class professionals that didn’t get married until their mid-late 20s to early 30s. Only a small percentage of my friends and acquaintances are divorced.
My own personal experiences with my own family, friends, coworkers, stories you hear, etc, it seems like almost all marriages end in divorce, and it kinda scares me.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 3:55 pm to kywildcatfanone
quote:
There are almost always extenuating circumstances, but usually nothing that can't be overcome if the will of both people are there to overcome it.
This is the main thing. You and your spouse need to both be 100% committed to your marriage and your family. If those values align and yall like each other as people then it will work.
If one person thinks the other will do all the child raising while they still go out with friends every weekend then it won't work no matter how much yall like each other.
This post was edited on 8/13/24 at 3:56 pm
Posted on 8/13/24 at 3:58 pm to saderade
quote:
It may seem like that but most of my peer group and parents at my kid’s school are still married. However these are upper middle class professionals that didn’t get married until their mid-late 20s to early 30s. Only a small percentage of my friends and acquaintances are divorced.
No one in my social circle is divorced.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 4:01 pm to Honest Tune
quote:
Sounds like trapping pays well.
I survived off ramen for 6 months until support was restructured.
I would rather live in a cardboard box under a bridge than live with that chick again. I was VERY hesitant to date again.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 4:02 pm to slacker130
quote:
I took the opposite approach. My wife's parents divorced when she was five and it was rough on her her entire life. I knew she'd invest and work at our marriage in order to save our children for a similar childhood. 27 years later, my thoughts proved true. We've hit rocky sections, but both were always committed to ride it out to reconciliation. Some brutal stories in here & I hope y'all find happiness on the backside of it all.
This my story my parents divorced when I was 3. My dad was a shite bag who verbal and physically abused her in front of us even after the divorce. I vowed never to be a man like him.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 4:06 pm to bobaftt1212
quote:
So now she is married to the guy I wasn't supposed to worry about and I'm married to someone that doesn't secretly hate my guts.
Well good thing you didn't worry about him. Seems to have worked out for you
Posted on 8/13/24 at 4:07 pm to dyslexiateechur
quote:
I was the one to pull the plug but in a way I was still blindsided. My daughter asked me why her daddy and I hated each other, which planted the seed because I thought we had shielded them from everything. I told him to do better or get out. He got out.
I hope you realize that in this story as you have told it, you are the villain...
Posted on 8/13/24 at 4:10 pm to RaoulDuke504
quote:
This my story my parents divorced when I was 3. My dad was a shite bag who verbal and physically abused her in front of us even after the divorce. I vowed never to be a man like him.
My parents had a rather nasty divorce when me and my siblings were 11-15'ish. They are both good people, so nothing like your story, just toxic together. All 3 of us have been married 19+ years.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 4:11 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
Most women are counts
Posted on 8/13/24 at 4:12 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
love is a choice
I wish that was true.
Posted on 8/13/24 at 4:12 pm to TigerGM
quote:
This is why I don’t share my bank account. She has hers. I have mine. She has one of my credit cards to use anytime she likes. I keep this one with a low limit of 10k. She wouldn’t be able to ruin me that bad. I pay for all of the bills. She makes her own money. I get her whatever she likes. She’s not going to have access to my cash however.
Sounds like yall have a very trusting relationship
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