re: Fellow divorcees...did you know that your marriage was over, or were you blindsided?

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Was married for just under 15 years. Been divorced for almost a year. Her choice not mine. We have two kids together. Still talk and text everyday and help each other care for our children. We are now just friends and probably better off for everyone. There was no cheating or domestic violence. I think we just stopped connecting. We tried to work it out, but it didn't take. We both have keys to each others houses and help each other out if one of us needs something. It's kinda a weird and one off situation.

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Mine is similar.

A lot of shite went down through the years, and when everyone got to a good place the connection was gone and familiarity breeds contempt and it was too far gone.

I am not the same person I was even 6 months ago, I love who I became and he didn't which in turn made him miserable. I stopped drinking alcohol, and he said he felt he lost his drinking buddy. So it proved my long standing theory I was just a roommate for a really really long time who he didn't love.

I'm not going to say we are friends, but can mostly act right in public. I still walk away every time I see him knowing I made the right decision to leave though.

But we have also have a 6 year old and live a mile apart so we talk all the time because we have to. We have keys to eachothers homes, he kindly helps with things when I need help at home with out a question, we do whatever we can to make this situation as least shitty as possible.

It's not easy but I think people place a lot of blame on their ex without doing their own soul searching to find out how they played into the downfall of the relationship. If you can do that and own up, it not that bad.

BUT, you can't apologize and expect an apology back.

My greatest life lesson is to not expect yourself out of others.

Totally blindsided. That morning she crawled into the shower with me and gave me the best before-work-blowjob I've ever enjoyed.

When I got home from work that evening, a sheriff's deputy was waiting for me, asking me if there was somewhere else I could spend the night, because she wanted me gone and was worried I would become violent when she told me.

Ironically, the dude she left me for who was supposed to be a rich guy who was about to inherit his father's successful company. Instead, they both got really in to drugs, and his dad cut him off.

I went on to meet a beautiful, younger woman who I've been with for the past 15 years and we've had a very good life together, while my ex has had no end of trials and tribulations.

She ended up giving their first child my middle name.

I'm giving my nephew one of them this weekend.
I have an 07 Tacoma that carfax offered me $5k for.
I was going to give the oldest girl my bmw convertible but I kept that as a weekend car.
Looking to get a Landcruiser or GX now. My dad drives my Sorrento and I probably won't get it back as I owe him a car anyway. I may sell it if it he gets a newer suv.

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her having sex with guys behind my back sealed the deal

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She pegged you?

Is that a bad sign?

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4th marriage

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This is absolutely wild to me. I can understand 2, maybe even 3. But to want to do it again after that is batshite insane.

First one was a complete shock. I was only 26 and we had been married 2 years. Everything seemed great. She’s a respiratory therapist. Little did I know she was fricking one of the drs at work. The second one I think I wanted a divorce after about a week of being married to her. She did a complete 180 and wasn’t the person she portrayed herself to be for the 2 years we dated before getting married.

I will absolutely never try marriage again. frick em! I’ll stick with my dog. She’s happy to see me as soon as I walk in the door. I love dogs!

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Mine is similar. A lot of shite went down through the years, and when everyone got to a good place the connection was gone and familiarity breeds contempt and it was too far gone. I am not the same person I was even 6 months ago, I love who I became and he didn't which in turn made him miserable. I stopped drinking alcohol, and he said he felt he lost his drinking buddy. So it proved my long standing theory I was just a roommate for a really really long time who he didn't love. I'm not going to say we are friends, but can mostly act right in public. I still walk away every time I see him knowing I made the right decision to leave though. But we have also have a 6 year old and live a mile apart so we talk all the time because we have to. We have keys to eachothers homes, he kindly helps with things when I need help at home with out a question, we do whatever we can to make this situation as least shitty as possible. It's not easy but I think people place a lot of blame on their ex without doing their own soul searching to find out how they played into the downfall of the relationship. If you can do that and own up, it not that bad. BUT, you can't apologize and expect an apology back. My greatest life lesson is to not expect yourself out of others.

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I need a woman perspective, why do women initiate divorce 80% of the time?

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Are you joking?

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I'm pretty sure that's a line from a movie

While I'm here, I just wanna say some of these stories are absolutely wild. Thanks for sharing them