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Started By
Message
re: Employers Can't Find Enough Workers Who Can Pass Drug Tests
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:38 pm to CHEDBALLZ
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:38 pm to CHEDBALLZ
quote:
They sent out a letter stating all employees would be drug tested on a certain day. That day came around, everyone got tested and 37 out of 114 people failed. They called all of them into the office and told them they were testing them all again in 2 weeks to get clean or they would be fired. Out of those 37, 7 of them failed again. They called all of them into the office and asked them why they couldn't pass a drug screen. 1 dude told them $14 wasn't enough to make him stop smoking weed, they asked how much it would take to make him stop, he told them $17. They gave him a raise and he still failed the next drug random drug screen.
$3 an hour more is enough to buy piss.
1
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:38 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
quote:
If I had to be a welder
Good jobs in welding pay more than good jobs for the average college grad. There are incentives to staying sober.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:45 pm to texashorn
quote:
Get you a bottle of shampoo, the small, travel-sized ones, and get someone to clean piss in it, then stick it up your arse.
Most people I know who smoke would whore themselves out to keep on puffin', so this should be relatively easy.
Edited for aggies: Pour out the shampoo first.
Two kinds of piss tests. Those for the courts, where a dude stares at your junk the whole time, and those for jobs, where you go into a bathroom. The trick is not sticking it up your arse, but forgoing the boxers that day and wearing tighty whiteys with the pee under your scrot. The key is temps above 90* when turning it in.
Warming packs work great too. Or so I was told. I've never had to take a drug test for a job.
This post was edited on 5/17/16 at 4:47 pm
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:48 pm to Napoleon
In Texas, you can be charged with "falsification of drug test results," which is a Class B misdemeanor.
Risk/reward.
Risk/reward.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:51 pm to texashorn
In Texas sodomy is still illegal, good luck catching someone in the act.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:52 pm to Napoleon
I think it's pretty easy for a lab to pinpoint a diluted sample.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:54 pm to texashorn
Use clean piss.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:54 pm to Napoleon
quote:
1 dude told them $14 wasn't enough to make him stop smoking weed, they asked how much it would take to make him stop, he told them $17. They gave him a raise and he still failed the next drug random drug screen.
Hmmm the problem here does not appear to be the applicants or employees....
This post was edited on 5/17/16 at 4:55 pm
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:55 pm to texashorn
who is talking diluted? Labs can't tell if you used OPP.
OPP, how can I explain it
I'll take you frame by frame it
To have y'all jumpin' shall we singin' it
O is for Other, P is for People scratchin' temple
The last P, well, that's not that simple
It's sorta like another way to call pee or urine
It's four little letters that are missin' here
You get on occasion at the other party
As a game 'n it seems I gotta start to explainin'
OPP, how can I explain it
I'll take you frame by frame it
To have y'all jumpin' shall we singin' it
O is for Other, P is for People scratchin' temple
The last P, well, that's not that simple
It's sorta like another way to call pee or urine
It's four little letters that are missin' here
You get on occasion at the other party
As a game 'n it seems I gotta start to explainin'
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:55 pm to HornsLife
quote:
So to combat this issue, we have stopped drug testing employees. Genius!
You just need to drop pot from the disqualifying drugs and you'll be fine. Are you upset if people drink when they're on their own time, too?
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:57 pm to northshorebamaman
Dude (or dudette) said it would be easier to catch someone performing an act of sodomy behind closed doors than to catch someone tampering with a drug test.
Dude (or dudette) was wrong.
Dude (or dudette) was wrong.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 4:59 pm to cwill
quote:
Are you upset if people drink when they're on their own time, too?
Queue up the generic "well one's illegal you ignorant millenial" argument. Just mindlessly drone along, don't question anything. Laws don't change, all laws are absolutely right and just.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 5:02 pm to texashorn
I'm not gonna argue which one is more difficult but you'd have to do something pretty stupid to get caught. But plenty of idiots out there trying to beat tests with bleach and shite so I'm sure they catch plenty.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 5:06 pm to texashorn
Dude. fellow natural born Texan.
If you use diluted piss you are doing it wrong. To fake you use synthetic piss or other people's piss. That simple, neither of which will cause a lab to raise an eyebrow. Labs put you in a room with no running water so you can't dilute.
No one mentioned diluting.
If you use diluted piss you are doing it wrong. To fake you use synthetic piss or other people's piss. That simple, neither of which will cause a lab to raise an eyebrow. Labs put you in a room with no running water so you can't dilute.
No one mentioned diluting.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 5:35 pm to Napoleon
You would be surprised at how many people use "clean pee" who fail to disclose that Benadryl or prescription pill that's in your pee. Or worse, men who turn in a sample that has a female-centric drug in the sample (or vice versa, like a woman on Viagra).
Posted on 5/17/16 at 5:38 pm to Teddy Ruxpin
quote:
If lawyers were drug tested we'd lose 1/3 of the field.
I don't know a single attorney who isn't on drugs, xanex, or addy (prescribed or not).
Posted on 5/17/16 at 5:40 pm to HornsLife
They really need to remove marijuana from these tests - it's so stupid to penalize people for making a more responsible and healthier recreational choice than alcohol
Posted on 5/17/16 at 5:59 pm to Teddy Ruxpin
quote:
While that may be true, that's life. Some times it isn't fair.
Republican party motto
This post was edited on 5/17/16 at 6:00 pm
Posted on 5/17/16 at 6:06 pm to Napoleon
From all the crazy temp readings I get, evidently getting the piss to the right temperature is pretty difficult.
When it's below 90, I just tell the prospect that we have a company policy against hiring zombies.
I've had a couple go off the charts too hot, so I guess that's where the hand warmers come in.
When it's below 90, I just tell the prospect that we have a company policy against hiring zombies.
I've had a couple go off the charts too hot, so I guess that's where the hand warmers come in.
Posted on 5/17/16 at 6:07 pm to PygmalionEffect
quote:
From all the crazy temp readings I get, evidently getting the piss to the right temperature is pretty difficult
Women have the advantage with this method.
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