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Started By
Message
re: Elderly Parent - Dating
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:03 am to deeprig9
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:03 am to deeprig9
To each their own, but if I’m in my mid 70’s and have good money, I don’t think marriage and all the change and adjustment that goes into it is even close to being on my radar. Traveling would through.
0
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:09 am to deeprig9
My dad was still able to get it up at 87 without need of Viagra though he was tired the next day.
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:12 am to deeprig9
maybe your Dad is slick enough to frick her out of her inheritance
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:13 am to CitizenK
Sorry, but how in the hell would you know that?
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:17 am to Rouge
You’re just spouting off commonly used vows and what marriage means to you with zero knowledge of how the OPs parents feel/felt about this kind of stuff. For all we know, they may have even discussed this kind of thing when his Mom was in better health. Each marriage is different. That’s for his Dad to sort out.
The OP is asking whether he should get involved to protect his dad and to what degree.
The OP is asking whether he should get involved to protect his dad and to what degree.
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:22 am to deeprig9
quote:
stage 99 of dementia
quote:
frick me out of my inheritance
how does someone who has dementia still also have power of attorney over her own assets.
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:23 am to X123F45
quote:
I'd make a credit karma account for her and analyze her credit
so commit identity fraud to see if the woman is a pos..
i truly hope the fbi monitors this site for morons
This post was edited on 10/2/19 at 8:28 am
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:25 am to Magic Helmet
quote:
You and your Dad need to set up a irrevocable trust. You are worried about your inheritance, but what is more worrisome is the two lovebirds marrying, her spending every nickel he has and leaving him with only with the shirt on his back a pack of depends. Then what happens? It’s up to you to pay his way - you have a mother with dementia, you are well aware of the costs of elder care. Ignore the people bitching about you only wanting your Dad’s money; there are bigger issues involved. Trust me, I know of what I speak. Oh, and I think it’s odd that she is described as having money. Is it just known that she comes from money or is this something she told your Dad?? I’m always suspicious of people who talk about their money.
Yep, yep, yep. Comparatively speaking 74 seems old to you, but the way you describe him he's still a vibrant healthy man, who may have another 20 or so years to live. But in that next 20 years he may suffer significant health problems and require very expensive long term medical care. Your dad may need every penny he has socked away, which should be your priority in protecting.
Which is not to say that the man couldn't or shouldn't spend money enjoying his current good health and life, but a proper financial planner could help him set aside money for when he absolutely needs it. That's what needs to be encouraged here, OP!
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:31 am to MapGuy
quote:
so commit identity fraud to see if the woman is a pos..
i truly hope the fbi monitors this site for morons
You think the FBI is concerned about credit karma?
Jesus Christ.
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:49 am to The Spleen
quote:
Sorry, but how in the hell would you know that?
He has to earn that inheritance somehow
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:52 am to deeprig9
If they end up getting married he absolutely needs a prenup.
Posted on 10/2/19 at 8:53 am to Slagathor
quote:It makes me sad to think people have to have these conversations because of things like Dementia and Alzheimer's. :(
For all we know, they may have even discussed this kind of thing when his Mom was in better health
Posted on 10/2/19 at 9:00 am to Slagathor
100% this.
Overly religious people are the worst. Your opinions on marriage (and it's complete fallacy) are so built into your self trained brains that you can't see common sense right in front of you.
Doctors/therapists, detail the reality of dimentia for their patients to them as well as their spouse/partner. Knowing what is coming, ideally early enough on, helps REAL people make real plans & understanding on how the non-dimentia person proceeds with their life.
Yes, "in sickness & in health" is allowed to be left up to interpretation by the involved parties. The flu, cancer, or broken bones do not = dimentia. Not everyone can 5o First Date or Notebook their spouse for any number of months or years.
Overly religious people are the worst. Your opinions on marriage (and it's complete fallacy) are so built into your self trained brains that you can't see common sense right in front of you.
Doctors/therapists, detail the reality of dimentia for their patients to them as well as their spouse/partner. Knowing what is coming, ideally early enough on, helps REAL people make real plans & understanding on how the non-dimentia person proceeds with their life.
Yes, "in sickness & in health" is allowed to be left up to interpretation by the involved parties. The flu, cancer, or broken bones do not = dimentia. Not everyone can 5o First Date or Notebook their spouse for any number of months or years.
Posted on 10/2/19 at 9:32 am to Evil Little Thing
OT Detectives, mount up!
Posted on 10/2/19 at 9:39 am to Rouge
Alzheimer's and Dementia kill the person you knew way before it kills them.
Posted on 10/2/19 at 10:15 am to deeprig9
He has watched his wife fade away. He realizes he only has so much time and found someone he likes. I wouldn't pass judgement on that. The fact that he told you about the GF shows he wants your approval. Part of the reason you are taking crap here (besides that's what the OT does) is you talk about "your inheritance". If your Dad felt comfortable enough to tell you about his GF you should be comfortable enough to voice your concerns. Not about "your inheritance" but about being careful of the new woman. Who knows whether she really has plenty of her own money or not.
Posted on 10/2/19 at 10:23 am to Rouge
quote:They're in their 70s does that really count as "getting some strange"?
where does it stop? Spouse has terminal cancer, so it's okay now to go get some strange?
Posted on 10/2/19 at 10:26 am to deeprig9
My grandfather remarried after my grandmother passed. He became terminally ill a few years after they got married and she was having him sign blank checks on his deathbed. Tried getting him to sell a significant piece of real estate so she could get the money. We always assumed she did something to cause the terminal illness as her previous husband passed from the same thing. She was a greedy bitch. Definitely prenup or hire a PI.
Posted on 10/2/19 at 10:27 am to ragincajun77
quote:
they end up getting married he absolutely needs a prenup.
People keep saying pre-nup, but this isn’t good enough. They can get married, she spends everything then leaves. Then OP has a potential financial crisis on his hands depending on the old man’s health and longevity. Also, any pre-nup or will can be changed at any time. The way to go is an irrevocable trust - the grantor cannot change the terms without the consent of the beneficiaries.
This post was edited on 10/2/19 at 10:28 am
Posted on 10/2/19 at 10:27 am to deeprig9
quote:Not necessarily.
If he blows every penny on her, in life, I'm fine with it. After death, that's my money.
Wait, you are a UGA fan so he probably is mandated to leave money for your long-term care.
PI
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