re: Elderly Parent - Dating

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Humans are also supposed to have morals too. Just because you’re a 74 year old man who can’t wait for your vegetable wife to die so you can frick some 70 year gold digger doesn’t mean you should.

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I'm actually agreeing with you

This makes me very nervous and uncomfortable

You sound like a miserable person. Think of your dad and mom, not your inheritance.

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Not that bad of an idea

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It's maybe a screening process I use. Maybe.

You could hire me to be the manwhore.

My fee would be reasonable and would take her mind off your dad.

You and your Dad need to set up a irrevocable trust. You are worried about your inheritance, but what is more worrisome is the two lovebirds marrying, her spending every nickel he has and leaving him with only with the shirt on his back a pack of depends. Then what happens? It’s up to you to pay his way - you have a mother with dementia, you are well aware of the costs of elder care.
Ignore the people bitching about you only wanting your Dad’s money; there are bigger issues involved. Trust me, I know of what I speak.
Oh, and I think it’s odd that she is described as having money. Is it just known that she comes from money or is this something she told your Dad?? I’m always suspicious of people who talk about their money.

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Unless you’ve seen Alzheimer’s/dementia up and close, you really don’t understand it. OP’s mom has been dead for a long time. What the frick do you expect to happen when a huge chunk of your life goes brain dead? Could you ever possibly imagine how miserable that is? I don’t blame OP’s dad one bit for trying to fill some sliver of his life with a “friend”. He watched the love of his life (presumably) go brain dead in front of his eyes. She has no clue who he is, and no clue what happened in her life. GFY.

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This should end the thread for the mouthbreathers who want to judge a man they don't know anything about.

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If you post asking for advice on the OT and expect sound rational response, who is actually the mouth breather, the repondants or the OP? If you think the responses to a post on the OT will be rational, well, you can probably see where this is going.

What is rational about all of these justifications for infidelity?

It's interesting how people can be living in a particular life setting, say like 35 years old, healthy, happily married and maybe even financially okay, and have such a difficult time projecting themselves into the future.

Fast forward 20 years, be sitting in a tiny exam room with a doctor 1 foot from you, explaining how this diagnosis is going to drastically change everything in your life. No more extra money maybe, maybe never have sex again, maybe not even being able to comprehend a conversation in a year or so. Digest and live all that for a year or five and deal with something newly drastic every month or so...

Then come tell us that it's not okay for a 70 year old man to want to have a companion to share the rest of his life's joys and challenges, as his lifelong mate sits in a home but doesn't even know that either of them even exists. And based on the OP, his dad has done and is doing everything he can for his wife.

Fast forward your holier than thou self into your next stage of life for a minute and you know about the stones and glass and all. Text book religion gets really hard to live when real human challenges change our lives.

Best of luck to the OP. I have a 77 year old mom that I try to look after, and it's unfortunate how our wisdom dwindles as we age. Watch out for your dad as best you can.

I don't know the answer to this OP, but it's one of the more bizarre feelings when a parent starts dating again after the other dies. Went through it with my mom before she died. I guess kids that go through a divorce are used to it, but I never saw my parents with anyone else but each other, so seeing an old bald man holding my mom's hand was something I wasn't really prepared for.