re: Does it get easier(losing a family member)?

It gets easier. I lost mine in June '18 suddenly at 61. He woke up from a nap, came downstairs to tell my stepmum that he was feeling better but that he was gonna lay back down; he never woke back up. Now his health had been on the decline for a couple of years but it took us all by surprise. My stepmum struggled for a while; its only been w/in the last 6-8 months that she has been able to have a conversation w/o crying. I've been fine.

He has manifested himself in different ways. To myself, my wife and daughter, he shows up as a black and blue butterfly. To my sister, as a hawk. He's still here, just not as we remembered him. I also know w/o a shadow of a doubt, that he's my daughter's guardian angel. On that, I am completely confident. I'll always be thankful that he got to.hold her and see her a couple of times before he passed. He lived up home in Western PA. I'm in suburban Atlanta.

You'll never be completely over it, but it does get easier.

Not that you need anymore stories - but I lost my dad a few months after Hurricane Katrina - in which I lost all my material possessions and probably some of my sanity - losing dad was worse

The relationship with my dad wasn’t perfect, but I loved him a lot - he had moved away when I was younger and called every once in a while

The last phone call - which was October after Katrina - he said he wanted to come home - and I said there wasn’t any home to come to - and he said home is wherever you are - so I tried my damnedest to find a place so he could move with my husband and I - my brother and sister had a place but they didn’t want him - then that stupid dreaded phone call came

It was too much for one year - I’m sure I didn’t get over it until way later - if I ever really did - he never met his grandkids but I know he looks out for them

My dad was convinced, before the season started, that 2019 LSU was the real deal. He just knew. He passed a couple days after the tigers slaughtered Oklahoma. We got to watch that game together although we both knew he was short on time. He died Jan 2, and although he knew LSU was going to win it all, it was a bummer I didn’t get to watch the Clemson game with him. I watched the game alone since my wife and kids were in bed and it felt a bit lonely.

It’s those times when the loss rears it’s head. When you’re doing something alone instead of with your dad.

I'm 23 months out from the same thing. It does get easier with time. Pray for peace and I've offered prayers for you for the same. My Dad would not want me to grieve for him just as I don't want my family to grieve for me when I'm gone. Just celebrate the life you had with him, that's helped me. God bless.

My dad passed away unexpectedly 15 years ago, and a piece of me left with him. Sec football is tough because he graduated from Arkansas and I graduated from LSU. Bragging rights were a big deal for us. Holidays are certainly changed, but not having him around in person has become the norm. The hardest part is that my kids did not get to have him in their lives. Ballgames, dance recitals, birthday dinners, and other events would have been better with him. I think of my dad daily, and the calming thoughts help me to be a better father, husband, and son. Hang in there. It will get better.

quote:

---

Does anyone with more experience have advice?

---

Fifty years ago I lost my older sister in a horrible traffic accident. I absolutely adored her. She was the kind of person who lit up a room when she walked in. She was also a great listener. So when I lost her it was as if part of me died with her. The whole grieving experience was terrible.

There is so much I could say about the healing process, but I will offer this. Knowing my sister to be such an incredibly generous and compassionate person I vowed to imitate her. Seems so simple actually. Serve others. Look around you and try to help them. If only to listen to them. This text messaging is so wonderful. We think of someone and maybe we send them a message telling them you love them, or we ask how their day or week is going. Just to let them know you're thinking of them and that you love them.

Better to light one candle.......than curse the darkness.

Hang in there. That’s not something that ever goes away.
I’ve lost a lot of friends and loved ones. Hopefully you get to a place where that pain still there but it fades to the background and you can go about and not dwell on it actively all the time unless you want to. But at least for me, it never goes away.

Dwell on good times and what you gained from the relationship instead of the loss.

My grandmother died on January 9 of this year. Tomorrow would’ve been her 85th birthday. She was like my second mother, as I lived with her for two extended periods during my life for various reasons. One of the finest ladies I’ve ever known. It’s gotten a little better since 1/9, but not much...You have my sympathies for the loss of your dad...

Honestly, it takes longer than a few months to start healing. I generally start to feel better after a full year....after all of the birthdays and holidays have passed you will start to feel better. Remember that it is not disrespectful to put away photos, etc. that remind you of your dad....tha last thing he would want is for you to be making yourself miserable because of his memory. Finally, when you think you have had enough time to grieve, if you are still not improving, see a grief counselor....sometimes just a session or two will do a world of good.

I lost my mom when I was 16.

A year later a girl I went to high school with lost hers.

two years after that I ran into her at a party and she asked me the same thing.

I'm going to tell you what I told her: I can't answer that question. NObody can answer that question. Grief is different for everyone.


I refuse to tell someone "I'm sorry for your loss" or "I was sorry to hear about your dad/mom/brother etc.". i hated when people would tell me that. mainly because I didn't know how to respond to it. "Thank You?" That's just a weird thing to say.

I try to make the grieving person at least chuckle, if not laugh. Chances are they haven't done that since the death, if it's recent.

I also give them this advice: tonight- got to sleep. Wake up tomorrow, and go about your day. Tomorrow night, go to sleep. Repeat that process every day.

Eventually You won't think of them all day, every day.

And eventually, you won't think of them at all most days.



You won't forget them, but you will be able to live life without them.