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re: Do you allow your teenagers to drink?
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:24 pm to theantiquetiger
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:24 pm to theantiquetiger
I have an 18 and 20 year old. Pretty much the same situation as you. I'll buy it if they ask but neither one drinks very much.
1
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:25 pm to theantiquetiger
quote:
sneaking my 18 year old a couple drinks at the Texas Club last night.
Followed closely by her doing a rail off the back of a toilet whilst getting railed by a guy named Bryce.
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:27 pm to CHEDBALLZ
quote:
I have an 18 and 20 year old. Pretty much the same situation as you. I'll buy it if they ask but neither one drinks very much.
Exactly. I believe they don’t drink very much because we allowed them to drink in HS.
My biggest rule when they had people over, DO NOT touch my bourbon. They always said I didn’t need to worry about that, no one likes that nasty tasting stuff.
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:28 pm to RogerTheShrubber
quote:we don’t do weed, and we don’t really drink that much, but I let the older kids (oldest is 21) drink because we drink at home or at a restaurant
Grown ups wanting to be peers instead of parents.
My 12 & 14 year old do not drink alcohol, I let the 9 year old try wine if I’m drinking it - she doesn’t take more than a sip
We homeschool, so I’ve drilled in their brains the dangers of drugs, including alcohol. There are a lot of alcoholics in my family - so it’s been a major discussion with my older kids.
My 18 year old is very good about being a DD, so I don’t worry about him bc he doesn’t drink while out.
I never sit watching tv with a beer thinking I’m being a ‘peer’ with my kids. They rarely drink but if they want something- I usually let them have it. Who wants to drink with mom anyway?
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:28 pm to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
Yet, youre enabling it. There is no way to get around it.
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:32 pm to theantiquetiger
quote:
Teenagers are gonna drink, we just managed it correctly
Yes.
I like when parents go into it with this mentality. Not all teenagers will, but I want mine to know if he chooses I will be there once no questions asked for him, more times and we are going to have some discussions.
Due to my own issues with alcohol I won't just allow drinking, but it'd be pretty dumb of me to not think kids drink.
I'm all for just really open discussions. Like look, you're going to do what you want to do, but alcoholism runs in the family kid so think about it wisely...
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:32 pm to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
Weird how you autistic fricks cant understand basic behaviorism.
Weird how you think that everyone is the same as you.
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:33 pm to RIPMachoMan
In my experience, the kids that have parents like this are the most likely to become alcoholics and also to encourage other kids to drink and do stupid shite. I get the premise, but it defies logic to me.
I can’t fathom assuming that liability in this litigious society, it’s not the 80s or 90s anymore.
I can’t fathom assuming that liability in this litigious society, it’s not the 80s or 90s anymore.
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:36 pm to HoustonChick86
Gatorwine for the kids because they need the electrolytes.
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:36 pm to theantiquetiger
I'm not naive and know they do drink, but I'm not supplying anything
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:37 pm to concrete_tiger
quote:it must be the opposite in New Orleans bc the only kids that snuck around and did stupid shite because of alcohol were the kids that their parents didn’t let them drink
In my experience, the kids that have parents like this are the most likely to become alcoholics and also to encourage other kids to drink and do stupid shite
Most of us who were allowed to drink, did ok. We are all still alive and not alcoholics
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:38 pm to theantiquetiger
quote:Not gonna tell you how to parent, but in my opinion this would lead to behavior where the child thinks “oh i can get drunk whenever cause my dad will save the day.”
You call me at 2am because you are drunk, and everyone else is drunk, I’ll come get you, we’ll hit Waffle House on the way home.
Theres obviously some variables, but I would have to discipline my kid if they woke me up at 2am because they didnt have a plan in place. Of course you don’t discipline if it’s unusual circumstances, but you get where im coming from.
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:41 pm to theantiquetiger
A lot of good opinions in here. Ultimately you have to decide the best ways to raise YOUR kids. I don’t have teens yet, but I’ve been a high school teacher and coach for almost 20 years so I’ve seen all sorts of situations with this and have had a million conversations with kids and parents.
The parents who I think handle this the best are the ones that a). Aren’t naive to think their children are angels. It’s pretty normal for teens to want to partake, even good kids. Partaking also doesn’t make a kid bad. B). Don’t encourage or support their teen drinking or doing drugs but also provide lifelines if their kids get out of their skiis and need help
C). Teach their kids about drugs and alcohol but in an understanding way and not in the Sunday school, don’t you dare or you’ll die way. D). Give their kids the freedom to make choices. Being a helicopter parent and trying to control what they do is a recipe for disaster
The parents who I think handle this the best are the ones that a). Aren’t naive to think their children are angels. It’s pretty normal for teens to want to partake, even good kids. Partaking also doesn’t make a kid bad. B). Don’t encourage or support their teen drinking or doing drugs but also provide lifelines if their kids get out of their skiis and need help
C). Teach their kids about drugs and alcohol but in an understanding way and not in the Sunday school, don’t you dare or you’ll die way. D). Give their kids the freedom to make choices. Being a helicopter parent and trying to control what they do is a recipe for disaster
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:41 pm to theantiquetiger
quote:
Some here say it’s trashy and would never do it, but that’s probably the same parents who have problem kids, sneaking alcohol, getting shitfaced
It’s interesting, because the kids I see sneaking alcohol, getting shitfaced, and getting duis in high school are the ones with parents that enable the behavior.
I get not all kids are the same, but some families seem to not have this problem. I wonder why?
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:42 pm to AlterDWI
quote:
Second, it's setting them up for addiction later down the road.
Fwiw, coming from an alcoholic, there is zero doubt in my mind I was born as one and how I was raised had no effect on it.
From day 1 with alcohol it was always I need all of it around me, not of let's be silly and have a beer. I liked how it changed the way I was feeling too much.
So I don't think it sets up for addiction necessarily and can be used educationally.
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:43 pm to GreenRockTiger
quote:
the only kids that snuck around and did stupid shite because of alcohol were the kids that their parents didn’t let them drink
The only kids, huh? Lol. I’d bet a study on underage DUIs would deflate that theory.
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:43 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
Weird how you think that everyone is the same as you.
Its clear you dont understand basic behaviorism, which is a frosh Psych chapter.
Most adults have a better understanding of the dynamic.
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:45 pm to concrete_tiger
quote:go ahead and do one for 25 years ago
I’d bet a study on underage DUIs would deflate that theory.
Good luck!
This post was edited on 8/10/24 at 3:53 pm
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:48 pm to Ryan3232
quote:
Not gonna tell you how to parent, but in my opinion this would lead to behavior where the child thinks “oh i can get drunk whenever cause my dad will save the day.” Theres obviously some variables, but I would have to discipline my kid if they woke me up at 2am because they didnt have a plan in place. Of course you don’t discipline if it’s unusual circumstances, but you get where im coming from.
That was the rule, but it never happened. And if it ever did happened, we would have a talk.
A few weeks ago, my 18 year old wanted to go to The Brown Door in Hammond. She just turned 18 the week before. We live in Dutchtown. My wife wasn’t big on the idea, but I decided to let her because she’s never fricked, always made good decisions. I told her she could but “Do not frick up, or you will never do it again”. My wife agreed because we have no reason or past history of her doing stupid shite.
This post was edited on 8/10/24 at 4:17 pm
Posted on 8/10/24 at 3:55 pm to Tuscaloosa
quote:To those criticising the trashiness of providing alcohol to teenagers, let me give you a real-life scenario.
I think it’s trashy as frick, but it’s also none of my business how you run your house, so I don’t care.
ETA: I also recognize there are differences in regional cultures.
Was just in Co Springs visiting my wife's cousins. The male cuz Josh, is living with a woman that has a 17 yo son. They buy him alcohol with money he provides (as he works, bc he quit school). Oh, and he has his own Harley and his girlfriend regularly spends the night. Tats are ok for him also. And he smokes dope w the adults. Now you tell me, is this trashy?
Personally, I live on a place w ponds, ATV's, a pool with a deep end, a lot of space. No way I'm giving teens booze. I now only have a 17 yo of my own to worry about. Luckily he's focused on fitness / football. We've had the conversation many times about how alcohol is a toxin that destroys muscle mass. It seems to be sticking.
Another point for this discussion (didn't read the whole thread): no kid would want to drink alone, they wanna be w their friends. I'm not gonna be responsible for other teens drinking, no way in hell. Yeah, all the parents are all fine with it until somebody dies or loses a limb. Then you're just gonna lose everything you've ever worked for. No thanks.
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