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Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:06 pm to fareplay
quote:
Divorce
quote:
verbal agreement we settle our own debts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:10 pm to fareplay
quote:
We separated our finances
=/=
quote:
my car is under my name and paid off this year. Hers is on her name with me as co-signer
did she refinance her car and get your name off the note? If not, you haven't separated your finances as you claim.
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:10 pm to Celery
quote:
You got screwed the moment you decided to divorce, either by her or lawyers, or both. (It will be both)
Not necessarily. Just depends on the circumstances around it and of course the parties involved.
When my ex and I split, we split our bank accounts 50%, I signed over her vehicle so it would be in her name only, we split any shared utilities (like cell phones), and she moved out and I kept the home which I had purchased before we were married. No kids either.
The entire situation was heartbreaking and it sucked, but it was easier to go through without having lawyers involved. I believe the entire divorce cost around $300 with court filings and such.
Edit to add that sharing a lawyer wouldn't be a bad idea. I made a few mistakes during filing because they make it confusing on purpose (probably because they want you to hire lawyers) and filed some papers out of order. Results in having to start the process all over, and while my ex was cooperative, she was still a pain in the arse at times to deal with. I think sharing a lawyer would be a low cost way to make sure it's done right.
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:11 pm to LSUZombie
So when you left was it “okay. Well. Bye.” And a hug?
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:11 pm to MikeBRLA
quote:
did she refinance her car and get your name off the note? If not, you haven't separated your finances as you claim.
Surprisingly this was the simplest thing to do for us. Strolled right into the loan holder and had it put in her name.
AT&T on the other hand made it as difficult as possible. Pain in the arse dealing with them.
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:12 pm to Privateer 2007
quote:
Get everything in writing. Document everything. Store on a secure cloud that she cannot access. If can get out amicably, by all means do so. Give in on a little bit of shite if necessary. Specify in divorce "alimony forever barred". Do not date or cheat until finalized. You can smash broads. Just don't admit you are. Don't put it on FB or shite.
This. We split 10 years ago with nothing being argued over. Just like you. Split everything 50/50. I had an attorney and even though everything is agreed upon I still got shafted. Damn near broke me. Giving her half of my 401 still haunts me today. Writing her a check for 350,000 hurt my heart. Get anything and everything in writing as others have mentioned. She might be okay with everything now but eventually either her friends or someone she meets in the future will get in her ear about what she could have got
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:12 pm to jimbeam
quote:
So when you left was it “okay. Well. Bye.” And a hug?
Pretty much, minus the hug
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:14 pm to Miketheseventh
Thanks guys. I really don’t want a lawyer and it’s taking everything to not tear up all the time during this.
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:15 pm to fareplay
When I got divorced I let my wife use my attorney, and I gave her 60-40 on our house, investments and the two fourplexes we owned and I let her keep her business 100%. I kept all my family inheritance stuff. All because I knew I would make it back financially and her options were more limited. All of that has come to fruition in spades. It was all about expediency for me and to get things in the rearview mirror.
No kids involved either BTW and we're friends FWIW. My ex is a good person though so your milage may vary.
(edit) Legally the law calls for a 50/50 split of everything, no kids, we both worked, had college degrees, etc., so no alimony or child support in play. But ethically I didn't have jack squat to do with her business and she built it over a decade to what it became. The 60/40 on assets was a littles harder to swallow, because in the moment she was being chippy and difficult. Ultimately I decided it was fine, and I didn't need to be competitive and I'd just like to move on. In hindsight it was a great decision.
No kids involved either BTW and we're friends FWIW. My ex is a good person though so your milage may vary.
(edit) Legally the law calls for a 50/50 split of everything, no kids, we both worked, had college degrees, etc., so no alimony or child support in play. But ethically I didn't have jack squat to do with her business and she built it over a decade to what it became. The 60/40 on assets was a littles harder to swallow, because in the moment she was being chippy and difficult. Ultimately I decided it was fine, and I didn't need to be competitive and I'd just like to move on. In hindsight it was a great decision.
This post was edited on 7/28/20 at 3:31 pm
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:16 pm to fareplay
quote:
I want to not hire a lawyer
This is where you done fricked up.
Hire a lawyer.
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:16 pm to fareplay
quote:Why in hell would anyone, man or woman, give anyone half of their hard earned money? The worst is women who don’t work and use the husband’s money to hire a lawyer and sue him for alimony/half all the money he made.
I gave her half of our liquid assets (cash)
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:17 pm to tigergirl10
She has worked as well we are dink.
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:19 pm to fareplay
quote:
fareplay
quote:
Divorce baws question
best advice i can give to you is that the moment the two of you decided to call it quits, that is the moment that you need to start worrying solely about yourself and your future.
hire someone who is much smarter than you to protect you.
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:28 pm to fareplay
A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper that it isn't written on.
A lawyer who represents both parties really represents neither.
Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.
A lawyer who represents both parties really represents neither.
Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:35 pm to fareplay
Right now you've given her a gift of your liquid assets. Get all aspects of the deal in writing so it is proof it is a division of marital assets & debts as you need it for the court anyway. Without it all she had to say is no that's not what we agreed to. No contest divorce is cheap and same attorney usually can do the paperwork. Protect yourself because she is doing the same. That can be done without going to war if you both truly agree so there is no reason not to.
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:36 pm to fareplay
quote:
Wife and I decided to split ways and I want to not hire a lawyer. I gave her half of our liquid assets (cash) and verbal agreement we settle our own debts.
Hire a fricking lawyer dude.
If she hires a halfway intelligent lawyer you’re fricked
This post was edited on 7/28/20 at 3:38 pm
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:42 pm to fareplay
quote:
Also no kids.
That makes things way easier. If you finished your property settlement, piece of cake.
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:43 pm to fareplay
quote:You are responsible for anything with your name on it. Have her re-fi the car loan and get your name off of it, now. She could come back and screw you on her student loan debt too. Protect yourself, get a lawyer.
California, my car is under my name and paid off this year. Hers is on her name with me as co-signer. My student debt is mine and hers we were married when she got her loan from fasfa
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:44 pm to fareplay
My ex and I didn't use a lawyer either. If you can both come to agreements on the property settlement and she doesn't want alimony, you're good to go.
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