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re: Divorce baws question

Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:05 pm to
Posted by Celery
Nuevo York
Member since Nov 2010
11311 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:05 pm to
I believe you can hire an arbitrator for a few hundred bucks Instead of lawyers to make it all legal.
Posted by MikeBRLA
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2005
16923 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:06 pm to
quote:

Divorce


quote:

verbal agreement we settle our own debts


Posted by MikeBRLA
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2005
16923 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:10 pm to
quote:

We separated our finances


=/=

quote:

my car is under my name and paid off this year. Hers is on her name with me as co-signer



did she refinance her car and get your name off the note? If not, you haven't separated your finances as you claim.
Posted by LSUZombie
A Cemetery Near You
Member since Apr 2008
29378 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:10 pm to
quote:

You got screwed the moment you decided to divorce, either by her or lawyers, or both. (It will be both)



Not necessarily. Just depends on the circumstances around it and of course the parties involved.

When my ex and I split, we split our bank accounts 50%, I signed over her vehicle so it would be in her name only, we split any shared utilities (like cell phones), and she moved out and I kept the home which I had purchased before we were married. No kids either.

The entire situation was heartbreaking and it sucked, but it was easier to go through without having lawyers involved. I believe the entire divorce cost around $300 with court filings and such.

Edit to add that sharing a lawyer wouldn't be a bad idea. I made a few mistakes during filing because they make it confusing on purpose (probably because they want you to hire lawyers) and filed some papers out of order. Results in having to start the process all over, and while my ex was cooperative, she was still a pain in the arse at times to deal with. I think sharing a lawyer would be a low cost way to make sure it's done right.
Posted by jimbeam
University of LSU
Member since Oct 2011
75703 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:11 pm to
So when you left was it “okay. Well. Bye.” And a hug?
Posted by LSUZombie
A Cemetery Near You
Member since Apr 2008
29378 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:11 pm to
quote:

did she refinance her car and get your name off the note? If not, you haven't separated your finances as you claim.


Surprisingly this was the simplest thing to do for us. Strolled right into the loan holder and had it put in her name.

AT&T on the other hand made it as difficult as possible. Pain in the arse dealing with them.
Posted by Miketheseventh
Member since Dec 2017
6540 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:12 pm to
quote:

Get everything in writing. Document everything. Store on a secure cloud that she cannot access. If can get out amicably, by all means do so. Give in on a little bit of shite if necessary. Specify in divorce "alimony forever barred". Do not date or cheat until finalized. You can smash broads. Just don't admit you are. Don't put it on FB or shite.

This. We split 10 years ago with nothing being argued over. Just like you. Split everything 50/50. I had an attorney and even though everything is agreed upon I still got shafted. Damn near broke me. Giving her half of my 401 still haunts me today. Writing her a check for 350,000 hurt my heart. Get anything and everything in writing as others have mentioned. She might be okay with everything now but eventually either her friends or someone she meets in the future will get in her ear about what she could have got
Posted by LSUZombie
A Cemetery Near You
Member since Apr 2008
29378 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:12 pm to
quote:

So when you left was it “okay. Well. Bye.” And a hug?



Pretty much, minus the hug
Posted by fareplay
Member since Nov 2012
5897 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:14 pm to
Thanks guys. I really don’t want a lawyer and it’s taking everything to not tear up all the time during this.
Posted by alpinetiger
Salt Lake City
Member since Apr 2017
5864 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:15 pm to
When I got divorced I let my wife use my attorney, and I gave her 60-40 on our house, investments and the two fourplexes we owned and I let her keep her business 100%. I kept all my family inheritance stuff. All because I knew I would make it back financially and her options were more limited. All of that has come to fruition in spades. It was all about expediency for me and to get things in the rearview mirror.

No kids involved either BTW and we're friends FWIW. My ex is a good person though so your milage may vary.

(edit) Legally the law calls for a 50/50 split of everything, no kids, we both worked, had college degrees, etc., so no alimony or child support in play. But ethically I didn't have jack squat to do with her business and she built it over a decade to what it became. The 60/40 on assets was a littles harder to swallow, because in the moment she was being chippy and difficult. Ultimately I decided it was fine, and I didn't need to be competitive and I'd just like to move on. In hindsight it was a great decision.
This post was edited on 7/28/20 at 3:31 pm
Posted by Pechon
unperson
Member since Oct 2011
7748 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:16 pm to
quote:

I want to not hire a lawyer


This is where you done fricked up.

Hire a lawyer.
Posted by tigergirl10
Member since Jul 2019
10470 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:16 pm to
quote:

I gave her half of our liquid assets (cash)
Why in hell would anyone, man or woman, give anyone half of their hard earned money? The worst is women who don’t work and use the husband’s money to hire a lawyer and sue him for alimony/half all the money he made.
Posted by fareplay
Member since Nov 2012
5897 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:17 pm to
She has worked as well we are dink.
Posted by Lincoln Dawson
Spanish Fort, AL
Member since Feb 2019
810 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:19 pm to
quote:

fareplay


quote:

Divorce baws question


best advice i can give to you is that the moment the two of you decided to call it quits, that is the moment that you need to start worrying solely about yourself and your future.

hire someone who is much smarter than you to protect you.
Posted by texn
Pronouns: Y'All/Y'All's
Member since Nov 2019
4020 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:28 pm to
A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper that it isn't written on.

A lawyer who represents both parties really represents neither.

Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it.
Posted by Tortious
ATX
Member since Nov 2010
5506 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:35 pm to
Right now you've given her a gift of your liquid assets. Get all aspects of the deal in writing so it is proof it is a division of marital assets & debts as you need it for the court anyway. Without it all she had to say is no that's not what we agreed to. No contest divorce is cheap and same attorney usually can do the paperwork. Protect yourself because she is doing the same. That can be done without going to war if you both truly agree so there is no reason not to.
Posted by Breesus
House of the Rising Sun
Member since Jan 2010
68006 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:36 pm to
quote:

Wife and I decided to split ways and I want to not hire a lawyer. I gave her half of our liquid assets (cash) and verbal agreement we settle our own debts.


Hire a fricking lawyer dude.

If she hires a halfway intelligent lawyer you’re fricked
This post was edited on 7/28/20 at 3:38 pm
Posted by lowhound
Effie
Member since Aug 2014
8730 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:42 pm to
quote:

Also no kids.


That makes things way easier. If you finished your property settlement, piece of cake.
Posted by RT1941
Member since May 2007
31218 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:43 pm to
quote:

California, my car is under my name and paid off this year. Hers is on her name with me as co-signer. My student debt is mine and hers we were married when she got her loan from fasfa


You are responsible for anything with your name on it. Have her re-fi the car loan and get your name off of it, now. She could come back and screw you on her student loan debt too. Protect yourself, get a lawyer.
Posted by lowhound
Effie
Member since Aug 2014
8730 posts
Posted on 7/28/20 at 3:44 pm to
My ex and I didn't use a lawyer either. If you can both come to agreements on the property settlement and she doesn't want alimony, you're good to go.
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