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re: Did you live with your spouse before marriage? Would you recommend it?
Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:30 pm to Thundercles
Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:30 pm to Thundercles
Yes. Moved in together while engaged due to timing and renting. I would recommend.
My wife’s pastor who was supposed to marry us said he could not, in good faith, officiate the wedding because we were living together prior to marriage. So you’d rather us just continue to live together “in sin” and unmarried rather than marry us and make things “right”? It still blows my mind.
My wife’s pastor who was supposed to marry us said he could not, in good faith, officiate the wedding because we were living together prior to marriage. So you’d rather us just continue to live together “in sin” and unmarried rather than marry us and make things “right”? It still blows my mind.
0
Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:31 pm to Thundercles
Leased an apartment with mine before marriage. As others have said, you really don't know if you can live with someone for decades potentially based off a few dinner dates. Everybody can get dressed up and be on their best behavior on a few dates... but living with someone 24/7 is when their real personality comes out. You need to know what they're like when they're sick, in a bad mood, how messy they are, etc.
IMO, it's foolish not to live together beforehand. And to those that call that a sin, well, I'd rather do that and know I'm making the right decision so we can be happily married forever, rather than make a big decision with practically no real research and risk having an ugly divorce, so, give me the lesser of two evils.
IMO, it's foolish not to live together beforehand. And to those that call that a sin, well, I'd rather do that and know I'm making the right decision so we can be happily married forever, rather than make a big decision with practically no real research and risk having an ugly divorce, so, give me the lesser of two evils.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:33 pm to MyRockstarComplex
quote:
That’s a sin in the eyes of our Lord
But marrying your 15 year old cousin was cool, right?
Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:34 pm to Thundercles
If you don't, you better make sure you are around them often and in everyday home life situations. You really don't know someone until you live with them day in and day out. All the little idiosyncrasies come out, and I don't know that there's any real way to prepare each other for that.
ETA: Chris Rock touched on this in 1998. You can't just love the toast, you have to love the crumbs at the bottom of the toaster. That's where the real m'fer is.
ETA2: Don't linger in cohabitation; 3 months of dating should be plenty long enough to tell you if they are worth pursuing as a spouse. It shouldn't take but 6 months of living together to pull the trigger. People do not change habits drastically especially the older they get.
ETA: Chris Rock touched on this in 1998. You can't just love the toast, you have to love the crumbs at the bottom of the toaster. That's where the real m'fer is.
ETA2: Don't linger in cohabitation; 3 months of dating should be plenty long enough to tell you if they are worth pursuing as a spouse. It shouldn't take but 6 months of living together to pull the trigger. People do not change habits drastically especially the older they get.
This post was edited on 11/15/23 at 2:44 pm
Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:45 pm to Thundercles
No, No.
Of course, I've only been married 35 years so who am I to say.
Of course, I've only been married 35 years so who am I to say.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:46 pm to Thundercles
5 years worth.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:47 pm to Thundercles
Separate residences but stayed together most nights at one or the other.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 2:53 pm to HeartAttackTiger
quote:
No, No.
Of course, I've only been married 35 years so who am I to say.
50+ for us.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:07 pm to Thundercles
Yes, for about a year. However we had been dating for 6-7 years.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:08 pm to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
Christ. Did your parents pick you guys out for one another, too? Did your wife's family have to offer a dowry?
Lol what? We met when I was 27 and were married when I was 29. She was here on a work visa from a foreign country and lived in another city. A mutual friend introduced us and we hit it off. I did fly to the Philippines to meet her family and ask her to marry me, but that was as much for the adventure as anything.
You find that a lot more strange than meeting some rando hookup in a bar or on tinder???
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:10 pm to Gifman
quote:
I highly advise before marriage. You find out a lot after you move in together.
What explains the data that show that marriages of people who live together before marriage end in divorce at a higher rate than those who didn’t live together before marriage?
Psychology Today
“ Cohabitation Is Still a Divorce Risk
Despite changing norms and perceptions, premarital cohabitation still appears to be a risk factor for divorce (Rosenfeld & Roesler, 2019). This does not mean that every couple that lives together prior to marriage later divorces; nor does it suggest that not living together first guarantees stability. It simply looks at the group data at large and shows a trend between living together prior to marriage and subsequent separations. Across all years examined in this study, the odds of divorce were 1.31 times higher for women who cohabitated prior to marriage.”
This post was edited on 11/15/23 at 3:15 pm
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:12 pm to Loup
quote:
Source?
This is actually the one thing I remember from my LSU sociology class. Then over the years I realized it's likely just a pair of false correlations.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:14 pm to ChEgrad
quote:
What explains the data that show that marriages of people who live together before marriage end in divorce at a higher rate than those who didn’t live together before marriage?
religion
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:23 pm to Thundercles
No.
No.
God will bless the relationship differently.
No.
God will bless the relationship differently.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:26 pm to Thundercles
No, and I don't know because it has worked out great. 24 years strong this month
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:27 pm to Auburn1968
quote:
Former sister-in-law didn't and they got to the point of not being able to stand each other. Lot of little things like him leaving the toilet seat up and such.
If a toilet seat broke up a relationship that dude has been having his throat detailed twice a week for a long time now.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:30 pm to ZeekFreak
The best reason is to save money especially these days
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:39 pm to Thundercles
quote:
This is actually the one thing I remember from my LSU sociology class.
I remember a priest saying it in a few of his sermons. I used to think taking marriage advice from a 45 year old virgin was a good idea smh.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:40 pm to WPBTiger
I did not.
Posted on 11/15/23 at 3:41 pm to Thundercles
Yes
Yes
Yes
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