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Started By
Message
1
Posted on 6/12/23 at 11:02 am to 777Tiger
google says 5 hrs in a coffin. i would just start breathing as fast and deeply as i could to speed it up.
Posted on 6/12/23 at 11:06 am to RLDSC FAN
quote:
‘Dead’ woman wakes up in coffin at her own funeral
She probably is dead but thanks to voodoo she is undead now
Posted on 6/12/23 at 11:09 am to 777Tiger
quote:
that’s why I’m opting for cremation, I’m claustrophobic af
I'm sure the flames will wake you. Then you'll be in a confined space while burning alive.
Posted on 6/12/23 at 11:12 am to tankyank13
but not for long
Posted on 6/12/23 at 11:14 am to 777Tiger
As someone who just laid there dad to rest I wonder if they have to pay double for another casket when she croaks
Posted on 6/12/23 at 11:18 am to Fred innocent
quote:
As someone who just laid there dad to rest I wonder if they have to pay double for another casket when she croaks
i believe the Ashley Judd vehicle "Double Jeopardy" is the legal authority on these matters
Posted on 6/12/23 at 11:22 am to RLDSC FAN
That’s where the name Wake originated; they would put the body out for a few days to make sure it would not wake up before final burial.
Posted on 6/12/23 at 11:33 am to RLDSC FAN
To those planning to retire abroad: enjoy!??
Posted on 6/12/23 at 11:56 am to Festus
Reminds me of British horror anthology movie version of "Tale from the Crypt" in the 70s like the old comic. One story is about a greedy couple have a statue, and they figure out that it will grant them 3 wishes. Of course, the wishes come with a catch.
The wife uses the first wish for a fortune. Then, her husband is apparently killed later that day in a car crash, and her lawyer tells her she'll get a big life insurance payoff-- the fortune.
Wife is distraught. The lawyer is comforting her, and knows about the statue and he relates the story of the Monkey's Paw about a woman wishing a dead person would return, and says don't do it.
She still wishes he could be returned just as he was right before the accident. They deliver the husband in his coffin, and he's still dead in the coffin. ME is there and says he crashed his car because he had a fatal heart attack while driving. So, he "returned" to her as before the accidnet but he's still dead.
The lawyer warns her again not to use the last wish on her dead husband-- let him rest in peace. She ignores him and wishes the husband was alive now and would live forever. Husband comes "alive", and the lawyer points out -- "he's been embalmed!". So, husband is "alive" but in horrifying pain. Wife tries to kill him, but her wish was he would "live forever". He can't be killed, but will be in pain forever.
The wife uses the first wish for a fortune. Then, her husband is apparently killed later that day in a car crash, and her lawyer tells her she'll get a big life insurance payoff-- the fortune.
Wife is distraught. The lawyer is comforting her, and knows about the statue and he relates the story of the Monkey's Paw about a woman wishing a dead person would return, and says don't do it.
She still wishes he could be returned just as he was right before the accident. They deliver the husband in his coffin, and he's still dead in the coffin. ME is there and says he crashed his car because he had a fatal heart attack while driving. So, he "returned" to her as before the accidnet but he's still dead.
The lawyer warns her again not to use the last wish on her dead husband-- let him rest in peace. She ignores him and wishes the husband was alive now and would live forever. Husband comes "alive", and the lawyer points out -- "he's been embalmed!". So, husband is "alive" but in horrifying pain. Wife tries to kill him, but her wish was he would "live forever". He can't be killed, but will be in pain forever.
This post was edited on 6/12/23 at 11:57 am
Posted on 6/12/23 at 12:01 pm to beerJeep
quote:
Good thing it wasn’t a schrute funeral.
i chuckled at this.
Posted on 6/12/23 at 12:03 pm to TigerCoon
quote:
Reminds me of British horror anthology movie version of "Tale from the Crypt" in the 70s like the old comic. One story is about a greedy couple have a statue, and they figure out that it will grant them 3 wishes. Of course, the wishes come with a catch.
or you know... monkey's paw
Posted on 6/12/23 at 12:11 pm to 3nOut
It's a total Monkey's Paw ripoff. They even reference the short story as a warning in the movie.
Posted on 6/12/23 at 12:14 pm to RLDSC FAN
We've all been there
Posted on 6/12/23 at 12:17 pm to RLDSC FAN
“I’m not dead yet”
“Matter of fact, I’m feeling much better.”
“Matter of fact, I’m feeling much better.”
Posted on 6/12/23 at 12:18 pm to RLDSC FAN
And then she was taken back to the same hospital that declared her dead. 
Posted on 6/12/23 at 12:20 pm to Pelican fan99
quote:
Who has a funeral four hours after dying?
A family member who is holding a life insurance check
Posted on 6/12/23 at 12:20 pm to Festus
quote:
Now if you live out in the country somewhere, and your family just sticks you in a box and buries you without telling anyone?
I would think that these days there are laws against this.
Posted on 6/12/23 at 12:23 pm to 777Tiger
quote:So you’d rather be burned alive than suffocate?
that’s why I’m opting for cremation,
Posted on 6/12/23 at 12:25 pm to tankyank13
Ain't happening in the US. You're either embalmed or cremated
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