re: Dating a Catholic when you're not

If she's serious about her religion and you're series about yours, buddy it ain't gonna work.

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I was born a Methodist and later converted to Catholicism. Trust me on this. Dump the utterly meaningless and irrelevant Southern Methodist Episcopal, United Methodist, name de jour of that laughable institution.

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I'm hoping this is a troll, but if not... Please do some more research into the United Methodist Church and its teachings. I think you would be surprised by the theological and intellectual richness you would find. The Book of Discipline is a great place to start.

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am catholic and my wife is Baptist.

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Serious question, how often does transubstantiation actually come up in y'all's relationship?

Didn't read the whole thread but just wanted to comment.


My grandmother was a VERY devout Catholic, my grandfather a very committed Baptist. When they got married they had trouble even finding someone to marry them cause back then that just wasn't done much. They were married almost 60 years before my grandfather passed away and my grandmother joined him 2 years later. Both of them LOVED and worshipped Christ, just in different ways. My mom and her sisters were raised Catholic and went to Mass with my grandmother every Sunday while my grandfather went to his Baptist church, arriving early so he could sit and quietly read his Bible before the sermon started.

Point is, it can work, but just takes dedication. She never tried to convert him and he did the same for her. And they were the old married couple you would see sitting on a bench together holding hands and smile at as you walked by them, hoping you could find a love like that one day.

No way in hell this works out. Cut bait now before you waste years.

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a devout Catholic and I'm Methodist.

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Interesting that you describe her this way, and not yourself as devout.

I have two sisters that married non-Catholic men. No problems with either one.

You don't both have to be Catholic to be married in her church, but you would be making the promise to raise your family Catholic.

The thing is, a Catholic really does have zero use to go to any other mass. It's not a sin, and it doesn't mean she doesn't respect your religion, but it is what it is. We get nothing out of going to another church.

All this being said, if she tries to force you to convert, don't move forward. If you convert of your own accord, that is great for both of you. But if she tries to force you, you should both look hard at the situation. Life is to short to be forced into something you do not believe in.

I guess I will give my two cents. I was raised as a Southern Baptist and dated and subsequently married a girl who was raised Catholic. We compromised and were married in the Episcopalian Church and attended Episcopalian services regularly. I had issues with some teachings of the Catholic faith such as purgatory, transubstantiation, and having a priest be an intermediary between God and me. We seemed to make it work, but I don't think we ever really felt right about the religious compromise. If individually, both Southern Baptists and Catholics accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and profess that Jesus died on the cross for the sins of man and rose from the grave on the third day, then you are a Christian. Baptists affirm this belief by a public profession of faith while Catholics affirm this belief by reciting the Nicene Creed. Which is correct? I believe that both are correct if the person making the affirmation believes the affirmation in their heart of hearts. My contention with the Catholic Faith centered on what I perceived as the passive recitation of the creed. It seemed disingenuous to me, but I cannot judge what someone believes in their heart.

With that said, I can give you this advice. My marriage was short-lived. I didn't see the writing on the wall of both my ex-wife and my own inflexibility. She wasn't willing to attend Baptist services with me, while I wasn't willing to convert to Catholicism or Episcopalianism. I did, however, attend Mass with her whenever she wanted me to. If I would have seen and accepted the fact that we were two completely different people with different ideas of how to live a fulfilling life, I wouldn't have gotten into the marriage. What began as me acquiescing to her demands regarding which church we would attend, led to her demanding how many children we would have and the ways we would raise our children along with the roles our parents and the church would play. It also led to her making unrealistic career demands on me (i.e. wanting me not to work long hours (I was going into a field that was demanding on time), wanting to send our hypothetical 4 children to the best private schools (that is a typical person's yearly salary alone), and maintaining an image of high social standing.

I say all of that to say this: Everyone enters long-term, committed relationships to eventually find their future spouse. Dating is nothing more than a test run for marriage. If you can live a happy life while having a demanding wife, by all means carry on. If you can't, it is easier to end things now. I learned that the hard way.

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Generally, the less devout person switches for the more devout.

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in my experience, this is correct...

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I don't know this girl, but I know if you want to marry her she will make you convert.

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Not necessarily. Mixed marriages are allowed.

But if the OP isn't attached to being Methodist, just see where it goes.