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re: Dad joke thread. What’s the worst part of playing tag with clowns?

Posted on 12/16/22 at 12:05 pm to
Posted by 75503Tiger
Member since Sep 2015
4821 posts
Posted on 12/16/22 at 12:05 pm to
What do you say to a friend if you have given him diarrhea?

Please return the bucket
Posted by 75503Tiger
Member since Sep 2015
4821 posts
Posted on 12/16/22 at 12:15 pm to
How do you stop a charging bull?

Cancel his credit cards
Posted by adamau
Member since Oct 2020
4146 posts
Posted on 12/16/22 at 12:18 pm to
quote:

quote:
What do you call a deer with no eyes?

no eye-deer (no idea)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no testicles?

no fricking eye-deer


What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no eye-deer


What do you call a deer that can't see, has no legs and no dick?

Still No fricking Eye Deer
Posted by madmaxvol
Infinity + 1 Posts
Member since Oct 2011
20885 posts
Posted on 12/16/22 at 12:29 pm to
The other day I held the door open for a clown...it was a nice Jester.

Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? Because he conditioned it.


What were Michael Jackson's pronouns? Hee/Hee.

I made ten puns yesterday to try to make people laugh. No pun in ten did.


If you get an e-mail from me about canned meat, don't open it...it's Spam.

Posted by Dixie Normas
Benton, AR
Member since Dec 2013
298 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 1:55 am to
What's the difference between a girl in a bathtub and one on a church pew? The girl on the pew has hope in her soul.

What's the difference between the girls track team and a group of clever pygmies? One's a bunch of cunning runts.

Why do duck have tail feathers? To cover their butt quack.

Why does a bald guy have a hole in his pocket? So he can run his fingers through his hair.

Confucius say "Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day"

Confucius also say. "Woman who masturbate on period get caught red handed"
This post was edited on 12/17/22 at 2:00 am
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
129920 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 2:09 am to
quote:

What do gay horses eat? Haaayyyyyyyy!


What does a gay rooster say?


“A cock a dude’ll do.”
Posted by yurintroubl
Dallas, Tx.
Member since Apr 2008
30185 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 3:03 am to
A basketball enters a nightclub and rolls up to the bar.

The bartender says "Can I help you?"

The basketball says "Yeah. I heard y'all were looking for a bouncer."
Posted by yurintroubl
Dallas, Tx.
Member since Apr 2008
30185 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 3:03 am to
Why don't crabs donate to charity?













Because they're shellfish.
Posted by midlothianlsu
Midlothian, Texas
Member since Oct 2009
1660 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 7:40 am to
Do people laugh out loud in Hawaii?

No, it’s just a lo ha.
Posted by Kentucker
Cincinnati, KY
Member since Apr 2013
19351 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 9:16 am to
A burglar breaks into a house. He begins to search the home for valuables when hears a quiet voice say,

“Jesus is watching you.”

He dismisses it as paranoia and carries on with his crime. He hears the voice again,

“Jesus is watching you.”

He’s knows this time it’s not in his head so he looks around the room and sees a parrot in the corner. He walks over to the parrot and it repeats one more time,

“Jesus is watching you”.

The burglar says to the parrot,

“Is your name Jesus?”

“No it’s Moses,” the parrot answers.

The burglar laughs and says,

“Who names a parrot Moses?” and the parrot says,

“The same person who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
Posted by victoire sécurisé
Member since Nov 2012
5370 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 9:44 am to
Guess which celebrity is going cereal commercials?

Reese, with her spoon.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
129920 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 11:27 am to
You know how Prometheus gets his pizza?




De-livered
Posted by fightin tigers
Downtown Prairieville
Member since Mar 2008
74417 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 11:34 am to
What has Beethoven been doing the last 200 years?

Decomposing.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
129920 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 11:40 am to
You know who the holiest primates are?



Monk-eys
Posted by fightin tigers
Downtown Prairieville
Member since Mar 2008
74417 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 11:44 am to
What do catholic priest and St Louis Cardinals fans have in common?


They both love Pujols.
Posted by TigerKurt
Kenner, LA
Member since Apr 2005
973 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 12:04 pm to
What did the bug say to the windshield?
That's me all over.

It's so cold-I can feel the change in my pocket.

It's so cold-it will be 12 at midnight.
Posted by Jumpinjack
Member since Oct 2021
6485 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 1:03 pm to
The Tower of London is not Big Ben. Is time reference to imprisonment?
Posted by Mor Miles
Member since Apr 2017
465 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 2:43 pm to
I’m surprised he could enunciate all of that, what with all the foreskins stuck in his teeth.
Posted by SECdragonmaster
Order of the Dragons
Member since Dec 2013
17172 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 2:49 pm to
Why can’t ants catch COVID?



They have anty-bodies.
Posted by GeorgeTheGreek
Sparta, Greece
Member since Mar 2008
67850 posts
Posted on 12/17/22 at 2:59 pm to
What do you call a dog that can do magic?



A labracadabradore
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