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Started By
Message
re: Bidet Purchase...Proof that spending time on the OT actually can be productive.
Posted on 4/27/25 at 4:47 pm to cryptkeeper
Posted on 4/27/25 at 4:47 pm to cryptkeeper
This is the one I bought. Electric. Warm water. Three different jets.
Air dryer.
My butt is a Lucky So & So.
[link= LINK ]
Air dryer.
My butt is a Lucky So & So.
[link= LINK ]
This post was edited on 4/27/25 at 4:49 pm
2
Posted on 4/27/25 at 4:59 pm to cryptkeeper
Go with the rose gold.
Posted on 4/27/25 at 5:05 pm to cryptkeeper
It's so refreshing on a hot day to go to the toilet and feel the cool, refreshing shower.
Posted on 4/27/25 at 5:09 pm to cryptkeeper
Used my bidet again
I said I would not wipe my end
I dropped a load and said - "I'm sorry I used my bidet again"
Peed out my coffee, splashed my shoelace
Smeared some poopy on my face
Slammed the door and said - "I'm sorry I used my bidet again"
Now there’s water on my thong
While I'm rubbing my same old dong
It knocks off turds and turns me on
Used my bidet again
Posted on 4/27/25 at 5:30 pm to cryptkeeper
The heated seat and heated jet makes it a step up though.
Posted on 4/27/25 at 5:36 pm to LuckySo-n-So
Toto or bust. This is the one I got back in 2017. It was about $500, so this price is really high I guess they don't make this model anymore. It's always worked perfect never had an issue. First time I used one I was in Japan in the winter and the seat warmer plus the warm water oh yeah 
arse Washer
arse Washer
Posted on 4/27/25 at 5:59 pm to OWLFAN86
quote:
Some people like the warm water I do not object to the cold it wakes you up it gets you back in there
Or if you have one of those fiery sh!ts from spicy food or the morning after a Taco Bell binge that cold water is a lifesaver.
This post was edited on 4/27/25 at 6:02 pm
Posted on 4/27/25 at 6:58 pm to cryptkeeper
Having one makes it difficult to adapt to a toilet without one. We put one in the guest bathroom just in case and my kids were against using it at first but that changed in a hurry.
Posted on 4/27/25 at 7:01 pm to HeadCall
quote:
The hotel I stay at on my layovers in Seoul has the coolest fricking toiles ever. Heated toilet seat, heated bidet and then it even blow dries your butthole after the wash. Headed back there in a week and can’t wait to take that first shite. I’m legit excited about it.
quote:Checks out
HeadCall
Posted on 4/27/25 at 8:05 pm to cryptkeeper
quote:
Bidet Purchase
The worst thing about having a bidet is NOT having a bidet.
Posted on 4/27/25 at 8:11 pm to cryptkeeper
I started with a $200 manual bidet seat and liked it so much I upgraded to a smart toilet
LINK
Some of the features:
Compact, streamlined one-piece smart toilet with integrated personal cleansing
Elongated bowl offers added room and comfort
Comfort Height® feature offers chair-height seating that makes sitting down and standing up easier for most adults
Dual flush offers a choice of 0.8 or 1.0 gpf (3.0 or 3.8 lpf)
Stainless steel wand offers adjustable spray shape, position, water pressure, temperature, pulsate, and oscillate functions
Bowl is automatically misted prior to use for more effective rinsing while flushing
Front and rear wash modes provide warm water for cleansing
Self-cleaning function uses UV light and electrolyzed water systems to automatically clean the wand surfaces
Warm-air drying system
Automatic deodorization system
Heated seat with adjustable temperature settings
Motion-activated, hands-free opening/closing of cover
Quiet-Close™ elongated lid and seat prevents slamming
LED lighting illuminates the bowl to serve as a nightlight
English-language touch-screen LCD remote control
Emergency flush supports up to 100 flushes during power outage with simple touch-button activation
Dual-flush technology allows you to choose between a full or partial flush
Pump-assisted flushing for strong flush performance
I actually have that one in my master bath and two TOTO smart toilets in the other bathrooms. I hate that they mismatch but I got a hell of a deal on them and beggars can't be choosers. I have a few thousand invested in $20K worth of toilets
FWIW, the TOTO toilets have all of the same features but aren't as comfortable as the Kohler
LINK
Some of the features:
Compact, streamlined one-piece smart toilet with integrated personal cleansing
Elongated bowl offers added room and comfort
Comfort Height® feature offers chair-height seating that makes sitting down and standing up easier for most adults
Dual flush offers a choice of 0.8 or 1.0 gpf (3.0 or 3.8 lpf)
Stainless steel wand offers adjustable spray shape, position, water pressure, temperature, pulsate, and oscillate functions
Bowl is automatically misted prior to use for more effective rinsing while flushing
Front and rear wash modes provide warm water for cleansing
Self-cleaning function uses UV light and electrolyzed water systems to automatically clean the wand surfaces
Warm-air drying system
Automatic deodorization system
Heated seat with adjustable temperature settings
Motion-activated, hands-free opening/closing of cover
Quiet-Close™ elongated lid and seat prevents slamming
LED lighting illuminates the bowl to serve as a nightlight
English-language touch-screen LCD remote control
Emergency flush supports up to 100 flushes during power outage with simple touch-button activation
Dual-flush technology allows you to choose between a full or partial flush
Pump-assisted flushing for strong flush performance
I actually have that one in my master bath and two TOTO smart toilets in the other bathrooms. I hate that they mismatch but I got a hell of a deal on them and beggars can't be choosers. I have a few thousand invested in $20K worth of toilets
FWIW, the TOTO toilets have all of the same features but aren't as comfortable as the Kohler
This post was edited on 4/27/25 at 8:13 pm
Posted on 4/27/25 at 8:25 pm to BabyTac
quote:
I’ll never understand people that wipe their arse with dry arse paper.
I agree. But let me also say that I’ve never understood why so many men use the word “arse” as an intensifier.
Posted on 4/27/25 at 9:01 pm to cryptkeeper
So do you poop in the bidet and it washes it away or do you get two separate bathroom fixtures?
Posted on 4/27/25 at 9:56 pm to stout
Kohler more comfortable than Toto? I haven't tried the high-end smart toilets from them so I can't say that's wrong, just surprising. Checked your link and quite a few of the reviews are pretty bad. No issues for you? Mind sharing how you got the deal on the Totos and Kohler?
Posted on 4/27/25 at 10:06 pm to TigerFanatic99
quote:
toilet in my room had an Enema button. I was too scared to touch it.
Posted on 4/27/25 at 11:32 pm to Bullfrog
quote:The separate appliances are older-fashioned in Europe, still a thing in Italy (I think). What people in this thread are talking about are either toilets with attachments or smart toilets.
So do you poop in the bidet and it washes it away or do you get two separate bathroom fixtures?
You use the toilet the same way, but instead of grabbing paper and using your hand to wipe everything away, you use streams of water to clean and a piece or two of paper to dry. My bidet toilet in Japan even had a sink top so you could wash your hands with the water that was filling the tank for the next flush. Smarter, better, cleaner hardware.
Posted on 4/27/25 at 11:39 pm to cryptkeeper
I like the cold water for a quick “WAKE UP you FRICKING a-hole!!!!” In the morning.
Posted on 4/28/25 at 2:52 am to cryptkeeper
It definitely changed my life.
Posted on 4/28/25 at 4:36 am to cryptkeeper
If you have space to add a real one its worth it. We added one in our master bathroom and it’s been awesome.
Posted on 4/28/25 at 4:51 am to BabyTac
quote:
At a minimum use wet wipes.
I bet you plumber loves you!
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