re: Are Many Couples Actually Happy?

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God knows we are certainly not. We have 5 year old twins and at this part are good friends co-parenting. We both work well as a team, generally like each other, and have no interest trying to be single again.

It is what it is. I've got 40 or 50 more years in this world to get through then it's finally fricking done.

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I mean this in all honesty and no sincerely. No OT bullshite.

This mindset is not ok. This is no way to go through life at all. You don't deserve to live a life of misery and pain. Go to counseling. Both marriage counseling and personal counseling. If you find the person you're meeting with is doing nothing for you, then switch to another person.
Make self-care a priority.

I know you care about your kids well-being, as you should. Just make sure you still care about your own well being #1.

Good luck man. I'm serious.

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We’ve literally taken gunfire and she’s solid under fire.

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Go on

We pretty happy. There's good in just about anyone and anything if you look for it.

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In the post abt the Splenda stuff, I stated some of you are in horrible marriages... this thread is even worse. WTF, how are so many this disgruntled... How did you choose a spouse so poorly?

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Many times couples marry young, are a match at that time but people mature and turn out not to value what they did in the past.

How many people marry someone and accurately project how they'll change in the future? I don't think that marriages that don't work out are always because they chose poorly.

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Marriage is work

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I already have a job that pays me for my work.
I don't need more work at home that doesn't pay.

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Boy, you're a cynical bastard, aren't ya?

He’s definitely an alter

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Many times couples marry young, are a match at that time but people mature and turn out not to value what they did in the past.

How many people marry someone and accurately project how they'll change in the future? I don't think that marriages that don't work out are always because they chose poorly.

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This is true, but plenty of mature people marry relatively young and have solid relationships. I'm didn't so no dog in that fight. But I think once close to your mid-20s you should be able to speak maturely about your ambitions and beliefs and outlook such that you can vet a spouse properly.

I think a bigger problem is perpetual adolescence, when 27 year olds don't do those things and make mistakes in marriage before deciding to "live life for myself" or some other trite and modern stupid thing in their 30s. In short, people are more immature for longer.

Of course on the other side I think we're not going to benefit societally from people waiting until their mid 30s to create mature and stable marriages (which is a lot of what I'm seeing in my peer group). These are good matches, but some don't have kids or only have one, which is fine on a personal level but not societally good, IMO. We need more kids coming from the stable, mature relationships.

its not worth it for the average man to grow up in our current society. what incentives does it offer them to do so? a spouse who didnt want anything to do with him throughout her 20s while she was fricking chads and salt daddies?

Yes. We all have bad days. But for the most part, yes. 30th anniversary is in January.

From time to time I want to choke him (and probably the same for him) but majority of the time I couldn’t see myself without him here. The thought of it makes me sad.