re: Anyone else have a family member who simply enjoys causing drama/problems?

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That's an easy fix. You ignore it and let her bring what she "needs" to eat.

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Convincing my mom of that has been a losing battle for decades.

My MIL will throw anyone who is not there under the bus.

Makes me wonder what she says about me when I'm the one not there.

My sister is very similar. I think she is miserable and causes conflict so everyone has to be miserable. She then uses it as a loyalty test, but then gets upset when people don't take her side.

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ever changing list of things she can’t or won’t eat.

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I guess its just the coonass in me, but if I had a family member like that, she would just go hungry because she would not be catered to. Meaning if she demanded it. Now, we do have a cousin whose wife is vegan/vegetarian. Because she's a great person and we all love her, there are usually a couple dishes for her because we WANT to provide those, surely not because she DEMANNDED it.

She also will bring her own version of traditional dishes sometimes that are vegan/vegetarian, and she is more than happy to have us try them. She hosted thanksgiving a couple years back and had our traditional dishes along with her type of dishes, and I gotta admit, her dishes we not bad

Hell no that shite happens more then 1 times I won’t go back or if it’s at my house I won’t invite.

My sister used to be that person it was easy bc I’d just let her have it, if it was a sister in law I’d have to walk the line but I would verbally let her or him no I am not having it stfu and let or kids play or I can leave or your can leave. Generally I refuse to leave if I’m there already.

This is normally all politics though have never had any real drama, raised better then that and everyone will tell you to stay home and not show up if your legit going to bring drama

Man I’m glad I’m an only child with a small boring immediate family after reading some of this

That’s exactly how my family works lmfao.

Oh really I’m sorry! Make sure you make something that you can eat honey, I have an oven you can use to heat it up.

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Man I’m glad I’m an only child with a small boring immediate family after reading some of this

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I’ve been fortunate. My family has always been normal. My sister is in her early 40’s now and I think she’s unhappy with her life (though she doesn’t have any real reason to be from what I can tell), so she wants to make other people be unhappy, too. Like I said above, she hasn’t always been this way but once she reached 40 she started to change.

Last night she said something to me that she knew would upset me and push my buttons. Something that had no reason to even be said other than to upset me. That really solidified for me the idea that she just wants to make others feel bad sometimes.

I've read the whole thread. I know this is a male heavy crowd so there is some bias, but I don't think it's off by much. MOST drama in families, and life in general, seems to be caused by women. They are emotion driven, prone to mood swings, drawn to gossip, and drama.

My wife is a picky eater. It's a combination of being super health conscious, being a trained registered nutritionist, and that she reacts badly to a lot of stuff in foods. Soy blows her up stomach up like a basketball. Gluten does the same. She eats really clean, and everyone in the family knows it. But she always brings food that she can eat, and my mom is also very accommodating. And I can eat anything so there's no drama when it comes to food during the holidays from our side.

My SIL and brother are both more on the explosive side when it comes to drama. But they know that my dad won't put up with that shite and they owe him for the roof over their heads, so that keep that shite at their own house.

The rest of my side of the family all gets along great, or at least plays nice at gatherings.

There's always underlying tension at my in-laws though. My wife and her mother lock horns a lot and always have. I think it's pretty common among mothers and daughters. And my BIL and FIL lock horns as well. He's a mamma's boy who gets coddled a lot from the MIL and my FIL can't stand it. But he and I get along great, and see eye to eye on most everything. My wife complains that her parents like me more than her

The wife always gets sad around the holidays when she sees that my side is much more normal than hers.

Luckily we live 350 miles away and our lives are relatively happy by comparison so most of the year it isn't an issue.

Families and holidays don't have to be stressful, but it seems like they often are.