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Started By
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re: Any Mitch Hedberg Fans?
Posted on 1/21/15 at 7:37 pm to batonrougebuck
Posted on 1/21/15 at 7:37 pm to batonrougebuck
Aw come on man. I just like crackers. I didnt buy them because they're little edible plates.
1
Posted on 1/21/15 at 7:38 pm to batonrougebuck
quote:
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall
Saw him at the improv in west palm about a year before he died. He was fricked up but he was still on like a mofo. Great show, glad I got to see him.
This post was edited on 1/21/15 at 7:41 pm
Posted on 1/21/15 at 7:39 pm to batonrougebuck
Posted on 1/21/15 at 7:43 pm to DthVllyDud
I've heard those jokes so many times yet when I read them, I hear it in his voice, and can't help but crack up.
Posted on 1/21/15 at 7:47 pm to yankeeundercover
I LOVE a good ventriloquist act.
Posted on 1/21/15 at 7:54 pm to batonrougebuck
Mitch is the best.
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:02 pm to batonrougebuck
He never appealed to me. May he rest in peace, though.
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:03 pm to batonrougebuck
I like the "corn on the cob" "mitch all together" and the koala bears being the cutest infestation ever and the "bananas and traffic lights" joke.
i loved his standing bass back beat and his delivery and his enunciation…
dude seemed cool as frick.
i loved his standing bass back beat and his delivery and his enunciation…
dude seemed cool as frick.
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:06 pm to RBWilliams8
What about about the Dufranes? Who could eat at a time like this?!
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:07 pm to BigOrangeBri
La Quinta is Spanish for next to Denny's
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:16 pm to DthVllyDud
People say not to use alcohol as a crutch. But a crutch helps me walk. Alcohol severely fricks up the way I walk. It's not like a crutch, it's like a step I didn't see.
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:22 pm to batonrougebuck
I was walking by a drycleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said Sorry, we're closed. You don't have to be sorry. It's 3a.m. and you're a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, hey I was here at 3a.m and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.
I frickin hate arrows, man. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like, "frick you, I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end."
Club sandwich bit is great too.
I frickin hate arrows, man. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like, "frick you, I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end."
Club sandwich bit is great too.
This post was edited on 1/21/15 at 8:26 pm
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:24 pm to genro
quote:
Message
Posted by genro
Germans, man
Pls stop with this shite
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:28 pm to biglego
There was a particular reason for that that's not worth explaining
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:28 pm to batonrougebuck
I lol'd for real the first time I heard him tell this one...
quote:
When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufresne, party of two. Dufresne, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufresne, party of two, Dufresne, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go right on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, what happened to the Dufresnes? No one seems to give a shite. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! You frickers are selfish. The Dufresnes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they're hungry. That's a double whammy. Bush, search party of three, you can eat when you find the Dufresnes
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:31 pm to genro
good to know
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:32 pm to Fight4LSU
As a comedian, I always get into situations where I’m auditioning for movies and sitcoms, you know? As a comedian, they want you to do things besides comedy. They say, ‘Alright you’re a comedian, can you write? Write us a script. Act in this sitcom.’ They want me to do shite that is related to comedy, but it’s not comedy, man. It’s not fair, you know? It’s as though if I was a cook, and I worked my arse off to become a really good cook, and they said ‘alright you’re a cook… can you farm?’
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:32 pm to genro
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:34 pm to Fight4LSU
Bananas are like the opposite of traffic lights. In a traffic light, green means go ahead, yellow means hold on, and red means stop. In a banana, green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the frick did you get that banana at
Posted on 1/21/15 at 8:36 pm to batonrougebuck
One day, my wife and I sat on the couch and took turns reading 10 Hedberg jokes at a time in our best voice and laughed our asses off. And we weren't even drunk.
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