re: Any LSU Fratstars Care to Give the Post-Bid Day Rush Report?

Punchy led all the loser rushees to the secret designated Geek Room where they were handed an alcoholic beverage with trace amounts of urine and entertained with a Japanese midget porn collection. An odd quietness pervaded the air. At no time did the studs downstairs see these losers.

Chauncey, our rush Chairman was rocking some seersucker shorts and had his collar perfectly half-popped to denote his air of IDGAF. Scrubbo, our Social Chairman handed out jungle juice and told that story about how he did that threesome with those Triple Nipples or Sleazy Deezees from Tennessee or whomever they were, on spring break last year. We sang our beloved fraternity song, which has several oblique references to organized gang rape, small farm animals and impending jobs at hedge funds. It seemed to go over well with the prospects, especially Worthington Bellhaus III, whom as you may have heard, is considering our archrival fraternity. I give us the early lead based on us getting him laid all Summer.

More updates to follow as needed.