re: Annual Thanksgiving Play By Play Gamethread

Gotta remember to bring your poop knife when you go to strangers' houses

Damn Al looks bad

Boring day for me. Wife is asleep, works at night and is working all week. So basically Im alone all day. Went for a long walk/jog this morning. Doing some website work right now and I plan on breaking out some cocktails later after we have some spaghetti for dinner.

No family to deal with. No clean up. Just me and my son who pretty much hangs by himself most of the time chilling out back


Thanksgiving happened last weekend for us

Ah hell with it, y’all give me all the shite
You want. Apparently we had to eat lunch at 10am to make it to in-laws at 11:30. Something didn’t sit right and I was in a hurry to find a bathroom. Long story short, the bathroom was closer to kitchen than I remembered going in. Now we are eating outside and mil is steadily waiving a towel, not for smoke in kitchen, I will be honest, its does smell terrible but that damn fan wouldn’t keep up. Don’t eat broccoli salad, think that’s what did me in. I’m now sitting alone in the chair in living room and can still smell it over the food. Obviously I didn’t eat. Happy Thanksgiving fellas!

Only 3 of us so not much drama. Except my wife "burned" the pecan pie. She was supposed to put it in the oven for 15 mins @ 425 then lower it to 350 for an hour. Except she missed the 2nd step.

The top was a little well done, but underneith it was fine. I pulled off the top and we stuck it back in the oven to solidify. I'm blissfully eatig the burnt part that we took off, "It tastes like nutty caramel!" To the reply, "Yeah, BURNT nutty caramel!" I told her my fat butt didn't need pie anyway. I love my wife.

Other than that, smooth sailing. About to go jump in the spa for a quick soak...

We just had a small earthquake in Edmond, OK

Reading all these just unlocked a memory for me that I hadn't thought of in a while.

About 5 years ago we went to Austin for Thanksgiving. Same Austin family I was talking about in my earlier post about the spoiled nephew.

This time we were at the cousin's husband's family's house. To make this easier I'll call the cousin's husband "Gary". It was a big gathering that year with all of the siblings, mom, dad, aunts, uncles, and random other guests. One of the guests was a dude who was an old college friend of Gary's older sister "Paige". Paige is married to a guy I really like and get along with. He's super chill and smart, and just easy to be around.

Well this Chad who is Paige's old school chum is loud, arrogant, and acts like he's old money royalty from an Ivy League school (they went to Vanderbilt). He's dominating the table conversation and really seems to be flirting with Paige. He keeps dropping inside jokes and innuendos that only he and Paige are laughing at, and I just get the sense that they used to be more than friends.

All the while, Paige's husband is kind of ignoring it, trying to be an adult about it all. But I can tell he's uncomfortable and I start to hate the fricking Chad more and more.

At some point the subject turns to fried turkey and this guy, who grew up in Boston, starts talking about how best to fry a turkey, and he's just wrong on all his points. I can tell this a-hole watched some youtube video but has never actually fried a turkey.

So I hold my tongue until I can't. I start to politely correct him on certain points. He starts to push back and I just had enough. So I say "you know what Chad, you're right, I'm sure those famous Boston fried turkeys are all the bomb and what does an ignorant Coonass like me know about frying turkeys? I mean, yeah, I've fried 20-30 turkey's in my day, but I probably didn't know what I was doing." (note, most of the people at the table have had my fried turkey and it's THE BOMB.

Everyone starts smirking at Chad and he shuts up quick. My wife is kicking me under the table and Paige is glaring at me with murder eyes. I just took another sip of bourbon and started eating dessert.

Later most everyone there came to be in private and thanked me for shutting Chad up.

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sadly this will likely be my last with my dad

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God bless your Dad and your entire family.

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He got mad, went out to the driveway, unzipped his pants, and pissed all over her car. She had left the windows down.

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I am fully and completely on this kid's side here. Junkie should go try to kill herself somewhere else.