re: Annual Thanksgiving Play By Play Gamethread

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At least it’s your MIL.

My mother is the type to soft demand every holiday be with them and if the in laws (who we like very much) want to see us for the holidays they are welcome to join.

I’m pretty sure if I told my mom we were gonna do christmas morning with my in laws she’d spend a week depressed in bed.

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Nah man. Very early in our marriage we made the rule that we spend Christmas at our house with no family. It has been one of the best decisions we've ever made.

-Update-

Well, the day has taken a turn for the worse. After listening all morning to a "spirited" discussion on the merits of Fireball vs. Crown Royal Blackberry, we sat down to a traditional Thanksgiving lunch. But, of course, it wouldn't be complete without a little drama.

During the pre-meal blessing, the MIL's third ex-husband couldn't resist a sarcastic "Amen... y'all really believe that shite?" under his breath. Real classy. The kids mouths dropped.

The meal itself was decent, but the MIL had to one-up everyone. She asked if the mince meat pie would be served warm with Cool Whip. When she realized we didn't have mince meat pie, she let out a dramatic sigh, "It's not Thanksgiving without mincemeat pie! And who ever heard of pecan pie at Thanksgiving? That's a Christmas tradition!"

By now, she's consumed at least four Crown Royal Blackberrys and Diet Dr Peppers, and her belching is getting louder with each passing minute.

To top it all off, Precious, the elderly cat with loose uncontrollable bowels, decided to sneak in the garage. The MIL, in a panic, rushed to the rescue, only to have Precious slip off my Porsche and scratch the bonnet. She responded with a I paraphrase "it's just a car" statement.

The situation escalated post meal when the MIL's third ex-husband, emboldened by alcohol, slapped my wife's arse while she was washing utensils at the sink. I grabbed him by the neck. He, however, played it off as a "love tap between friends." My wife, ever the peacekeeper, pulled me back and sent me to the garage, where I now sit staring at the cat-scratched Porsche.

I think it's safe to say this Thanksgiving is going down in history as the most memorable one yet..

If there are no more updates please start a gofundme and send someone to the St Tammany Parish Jail to bail me out. Otherwise I'll be back.

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slapped my wife's arse while she was washing utensils at the sink.

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baw nobody coulda pulled my hands off his neck, not even King Arthur

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The situation escalated post meal when the MIL's third ex-husband, emboldened by alcohol, slapped my wife's arse while she was washing utensils at the sink. I grabbed him by the neck. He, however, played it off as a "love tap between friends." My wife, ever the peacekeeper, pulled me back and sent me to the garage, where I now sit staring at the cat-scratched Porsche.

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Sounds like he wants his turkey with a side of arse-whooping. I wouldn’t blame you if you served him some.

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If there are no more updates please start a gofundme and send someone to the St Tammany Parish Jail to bail me out

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I’m in Covington, both of the women I’ve been dabbling in have their kids today. My kids went back to their mother late yesterday after being with me since Friday. All of that said, I’m free the rest of the day and night for bail if needed.

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The situation escalated post meal when the MIL's third ex-husband, emboldened by alcohol, slapped my wife's arse while she was washing utensils at the sink. I grabbed him by the neck.

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Wouldve dropped him no questions asked.

You grab a wife/GF whatever happens next is on you.

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If there are no more updates please start a gofundme and send someone to the St Tammany Parish Jail to bail me out. Otherwise I'll be back

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I'll happily chip in. Do what you must. I can't believe you even allow those people in your house or that your wife is okay with it.

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so u have a Porsche?

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Yes. Had it since I got out of college. It's old.

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He's predicting the future.

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Nope, they "mutually" split up and are now "just friends."

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please start a gofundme and send someone to the St Tammany Parish Jail to bail me out

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ot assemble

Well, I thought this was going to be a quiet Thanksgiving. Turns out though there have been some fireworks. I missed most of it because it went down in the kitchen, though I did hear some of what went down. Seems that a moment ago my wife’s blue haired cousin decided to start giving my 16 yr daughter a political lecture on how, since Trump was elected, she “won’t have control over her own body.” My wife lost her shite on the cousin at this point. The main highlight I overheard was “well unlike you, she knows she doesn’t have to spread her legs like a dog in heat anytime a guy looks at her.”