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Posted on 12/15/22 at 6:17 am to X123F45
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.
Posted on 12/15/22 at 6:22 am to X123F45
When I was in college, I was laying in bed with my gf at the time, I couldn’t sleep and she was passed out so I got up and went to the apartment next door. Proceeded to frick the shite out of the Asian girl living there while my roomate was passed out on their couch. They were in the early stages of dating/talking, now they are engaged lmao
I felt bad for about 3 hours but it was an LSU gameday the next day so I got hammered and proceeded to forget about it. Asian women are freaks
I felt bad for about 3 hours but it was an LSU gameday the next day so I got hammered and proceeded to forget about it. Asian women are freaks
Posted on 12/15/22 at 6:32 am to blueagateblues
quote:
Medical debt should not exist in the United States.
So who pays then?
Posted on 12/15/22 at 7:13 am to Tyga Woods
quote:
I pretend I’m on the phone when kids are selling stuff at the entrance to stores.
Dang I’m stealing this one
Posted on 12/15/22 at 7:22 am to X123F45
(no message)
This post was edited on 12/20/22 at 8:06 am
Posted on 12/15/22 at 8:08 am to Tomatocantender
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/4/23 at 3:19 am
Posted on 12/15/22 at 8:14 am to X123F45
quote:
Admit something horrible
I clicked on this link
Posted on 12/15/22 at 8:25 am to X123F45
Sometimes I answer the phone at work and when the person on the other end asks for me, I tell them I am not here if I don't want to speak to them.
Posted on 12/15/22 at 8:49 am to X123F45
After I found out my ex wife was cheating, I made Craigslist ads using roided up men to catch other women cheating and out them to their husbands. I would get 50 or more emails per day. The amount of women who didn't hide their identity was astounding.
Posted on 12/15/22 at 8:50 am to X123F45
I read “Santa’s Husband”
Posted on 12/15/22 at 8:51 am to frequent flyer
quote:
I farted the other day and blamed it on the dog.
Pssh...I have three, and when one of them farts, I take credit.
Posted on 12/15/22 at 9:29 am to Jenious
Another one....
I get great pleasure telling the young, double-masked triple-vaxed patients that their covid test is positive.
I get great pleasure telling the young, double-masked triple-vaxed patients that their covid test is positive.
Posted on 12/15/22 at 9:31 am to X123F45
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I play Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog. Then, my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids, and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out! But, the worst thing I ever done: I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, I made a puke noises and then, I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. And I never felt so bad in my entire life!
Posted on 12/15/22 at 9:37 am to X123F45
When I was 13 I discovered I could see into the bedroom and bathroom window at a house down the street from me. It was next to a brushy area where we had made bike trails. The windows were the master bedroom and bathroom and if I timed it right, I could see the matriarch of the house getting in and/or out of the shower. She wasn’t much to look at, but real life boobs and 80’s bush at 13 was worth it.
Posted on 12/15/22 at 9:40 am to X123F45
I enjoy Hallmark Christmas Movies
Posted on 12/15/22 at 10:06 am to X123F45
quote:
Admit something horrible
I wrote a book about it
Posted on 12/15/22 at 2:33 pm to X123F45
In college I drove while hard-blackout. Only about a mile but (I assume) went directly down the main University Blvd which was probably still somewhat busy. Me and my roommate left to go get my car the next morning only to find that it was safely parked at my apartment
Thankfully it was a pretty effective wake-up call
Thankfully it was a pretty effective wake-up call
This post was edited on 12/15/22 at 2:38 pm
Posted on 12/15/22 at 2:36 pm to X123F45
I have zero sympathy for morbidly obese people...
Posted on 12/15/22 at 3:05 pm to X123F45
I don’t consider this horrible but more funny. I was on a elevator with my 6 month old baby. A group of women got on (bachelorette party). As the doors shut I let out a silent and nasty fart. As the smell spread through the elevator I pretended to check my daughters diaper and blamed her.
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