re: 5 months sober and need to hear some terrible partying stories.

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We rented a condo with my wife’s sister and her family and my wife’s parents in Destin. Got shitfaced at dinner. Took a shower and climbed in bed naked with my mother in law. The bathroom was adjoined to two rooms and I went out the wrong door.

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Too bad it wasn’t the wife’s sister

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Got roofied at a VFW bingo night
Drop kicked the cake at a wedding reception
So many fat chicks

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Sorry for partying?

Ate a package of paper plates because I was starving and too fricked up to leave the house.

I don't drink anymore.

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Ate a package of paper plates because I was starving and too fricked up to leave the house.

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Holy shite.

I've never done anything crazy, I don't think, but I did pass out in the snow, hunched over in the puke position, in the middle of a freezing night in CO. If I hadn't already been dressed to be outside, I'd have caught hypothermia. I was awoken by a friend poking me with a ski pole.

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Took a shower and climbed in bed naked with my mother in law.

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Did you get lucky?

Hit someone while driving completely hammered and fled the scene. Went home and went to sleep. Few minutes later the police are knocking at my door asking me about a hit and run. The cop asks for my ID, told him it was upstairs. Fell down on the stairs when I went get it and the cop had to help me climb the stairs to find my ID I was so drunk. 3 years later I've been clean and sober for over a year.

Was only charged with hit and run

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Took a shower and climbed in bed naked with my mother in law.

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What was her reaction?

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Got roofied at a VFW bingo night

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Got drugged by a gay guy once for calling him a f*g a few days earlier, when he was acting like one over video games. No link to him being gay, but he poured a shite ton of ketamine into my beer. One of the 5 worst nights of my life.

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Drop kicked the cake at a wedding reception

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...What the frick is wrong with you?

After the LSU win in College Station in 2016, my buddy and I hit up northgate. Found a club where women were dancing in cages. Things get hazy after that. I urinated in public a couple of times. Hailed a cab driven by a dude from Ghana who ran track under Pat Henry. Puked at the place we were staying. Finally woke up around 8am trying to walk my hangover off. Started puking and dry heaving in random people’s front yards. Clamminess ensued.

Called my friend and told him I felt like shite. I may need him to take me to the hospital. He said he was on his way. A few minutes later I was knocking on a random person’s door hunched over asking him to call an ambulance because my phone died. Poor guy’s young kids were in the background, no doubt looking at whatever the frick it was in standing outside the front door. I was slurring words because my face was going numb. I rambled about how I couldn’t feel my own body.

Made it to the hospital. As they wheeled me in I continued dry heaving into a bag. Whatever they gave me for nausea wasn’t working. That got several looks and chuckles thrown my way. My LSU shirt was covered in vomit at the point. I was dehydrated beyond belief and apparently suffering from gastritis. Somewhere in all of this madness I lost my shoes.

Phone finally charged up and I called my friend. He made it to the hospital in time to pick me up and get us back home to South Texas that night. I never did find my shoes.

Instead of focusing on the bad of drinking, maybe focus on the good that sobriety has brought you. I'd love to hear something awesome you've gained through sobriety