re: DETAILS! MWADS Writers, Presidential Boxing, The Future

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Teddy Roosevelt is the toughest man ever, much less limiting it to presidents. The dude got shot then managed to deliver a speech immediately afterwards. And this ranks like 26th on the list of most badass shite he ever did. We're going to need tanks to take down Teddy.

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Jackson was an accomplished duelist.

He even let a guy get the first shot, it hit him. Jackson still won the duel.

I've always wanted to slap Bill Clinton. After I got it out of my system we go chase hoes.

Bush 41 would have the CIA all over me before I even knew I wanted to kick his arse.

We'd have to leave Buchanan alone because it would be a hate crime.

I'll bet LBJ was a pretty tough bastard in his prime.

Well done, sir.

Problem with trying to take on Drew Jackson is you've gotta look at his corner men too. He's got two badass VPs waiting to clock you over the head with a chair shot as soon as the ref turns his back. MVB's got his whole gang behind him, hiding shite under the ring, intimidating judges, loading his gloves, etc. And then you've got JC Calhoun who was a total badass in his own right. Of course, on the flip side, Calhoun is just as likely to crack a chair over Andrew's head as he is yours, so I dunno. Tough call.

I don't think there's any doubt though that the scariest VP duo that any Prez would have in his corner is Tom Jefferson. Aaron fricking Burr and George Clinton (otherwise known as the king of funk). Your arse would be dead by the end of your walkout song. Clinton would drug you and Burr would put a musket ball in your brain before you landed a single punch on ol TJ.

Obama thrown out with the TEA

It's happening, it's really happening.

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As for JFK

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It'd be easy to kick his arse. Dude had Addison's disease. As someone who's kicked the crap out of numerous Addison's disease patients or "Addisonians", I can tell you it'd be a pretty easy fight. People with phlebitis like Nixon, not so much. Don't frick with those guys.

Speaking of which, would anybody dare to get into a bloody bare knuckle boxing match with a syphilis-riddled Washington?

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Problem with trying to take on Drew Jackson is you've gotta look at his corner men too. He's got two badass VPs waiting to clock you over the head with a chair shot as soon as the ref turns his back. MVB's got his whole gang behind him, hiding shite under the ring, intimidating judges, loading his gloves, etc. And then you've got JC Calhoun who was a total badass in his own right. Of course, on the flip side, Calhoun is just as likely to crack a chair over Andrew's head as he is yours, so I dunno. Tough call.

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MVB hated Jackson, too (though he had the good sense to keep it to himself - MVB is probably the most oily politician in American history). The VP advantage is illusory. Andrew's cornermen are both likely to shank him. Not as bad as Burr, who openly despised Jefferson and plotted against him. Bringing in any of those veeps is a mistake.

I do think we're avoiding some of the big guns here, and someone's got to take them on. Teddy is undfeated against bears, so I'll let someone else tackle that. Lincoln's long reach negates my size advantage, and I don't even want to get into his vampire hunting skills. Even Ford is a tough out. Anyone here ever beat up a football player?

So I'm taking one for the team and taking on King Andy. No guns or weapons of any sort, to even the playing field. Come on, I've got CLAWS for godsakes. I should be able to take him, especially with one of his VP's poisoning his drink and the other hitting him upside the head with a chair, in clear violation of the no weapons policy.

Oh, and it was Preston Brooks who beat Charles Sumner with a cane. Brooks was from South Carolina, and an acolyte of Calhoun. Guess who is working on Team Baloo against Team andy? Even if MVB decides to support Jackson with his gang, I think my Calhoun gang can take him, or at least negate the advantage.

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Even Ford is a tough out. Anyone here ever beat up a football player?

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That's an easy one - make it a WWF style ladder match. He would take himself out