re: Debt Debt Debt.

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He's not going to be able to get approved for them

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Those cards aren't as plentiful, and you are correct. I will not qualify.

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Also, we were transferring and keeping the card. Eventually money got put on both.

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That is what the credit card companies want to happen.

I like the idea of a “no gifts” Christmas as a good start. Sure, buy the youngster some modest things, but why not start a new chapter by each choosing some things to sell & agree to put the funds toward your debt? Both of you probably have jewelry, toys (ahem, guitars?) that you use infrequently, or perhaps designer clothing that can go to a consignment shop.

It’s also worth considering a deeper dive into WHY you compulsively spend. You’re an educated person, you managed to get through nursing school, so you are capable of learning & long range planning. You aren’t lacking in intellect—so what emotional issues make you incapable of NOT living above your means? Find a sliding scale therapist, call your employee assistance program’s counselors, call your oldest friend and explain your predicament....spend your lunch break writing out your problems and why spending money is your downfall. Were you denied stuff as a child? Did you grow up wealthy and can’t seem to live on your present income? Do you hate your job/wife/life and are spending as an escape from your daily reality? Are you insecure about who & what you are, and spending makes you temporarily feel better? Are you repressing deeper issues, and thus subconsciously sabotaging your finances by way of displacement? (We all know people who really wanted a divorce or to come out of the closet, and rather than own it like grownups, they created a mess that made their leaving/life changes seem like a solution to the mess.)

If your wife is part of the problem, make her part of the solution. Do you have honest convos about money? Is she as terrible an overspender as you are? You’re gonna need to pull together.

Go look at that sleeping kid if you need some motivation to get your life right. You wanna tell him, “sorry, dad’s broke, you’re paying your way through community college”. Or worse, you end up with major medical issues at 55 and cannot work, and you’re still in debt and become a burden to him for 30-40 years.

In short, time to grow up. Grownups put the needs of others before their own wants. Grownups pay their debts and can afford to help other people who need it. Grownups understand that material things don’t substitute for a life well lived, the respect of your family & friends, and peace when you go to bed at night.

Thanks to the OP I'm all motivated again to start spending less!

Just got engaged and planning a nice honeymoon for the summer.
Only credit card debt is about half the value of the ring I just bought. I've already balance transferred, and will pay it off sooner than later. I don't add to that credit card balance whatsoever.

You better believe I'm drinking cheap beer for as long as I can (Canadian), and sub $10 wine. I've got no one to impress. I drink at home or with friends. That helps a lot. I only drink out once per month.

I spend about $50 on personal entertainment per month. It's just the mindset you've got to have.
I sacrifice now so I can enjoy Napa and the PNW in full come summertime.

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Are you 100% cash right now?

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No cards. If that’s what you mean. “Emergency fund” was used on AC. It’s down to $600. Need to put $$$ back in.

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you haven't hit rock bottom yet and don't appear ready to make effective change until then.

Good luck, baw.

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this

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If you don’t “understand” then carry your arse out of this thread. I expected some shite, but you’ve made snarky comments throughout

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I'm not making snark comments, I'm telling you the truth, which you don't like.

You know your behavior is bad, you just don't want to change it.

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That’s just the emergency fund.

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So, Baby Step #1 means you should get that back to $1000. I even argue that it should be $2000, but that's your call.

Then you're back on Step 2 for potentially 6 or 7 years.

However, as has been made perfectly clear in this thread - you HAVE to get a handle on every penny coming in and every penny going out. I'm not saying you have to agonize over it, but you HAVE to get awareness and visibility. That's actually "Baby Step 0" - and then, you have to challenge yourself - code or otherwise mark every budget line item that is "unchangeable" (mortgage is the obvious one here) - things you can't affect or can't affect much.

THEN, you free up money for the snowball by attacking every discretionary item - entertainment, groceries, clothing - and those you might be able to reduce or eliminate - massive wireless bills, massive cable packages - all those pennies and dollars add up to hundreds over time.

Until you get better momentum on the snowball, challenge every "avoidable" spending. And I don't mean you shut down your life. Once you get a handle on the budget, you can budget vacations, "emergencies", other priorities - but only if you have a full handle on every penny coming in and going out.

Frankly, until you have a handle on the cash flow, you're thrashing around in quicksand. Again, just more honest/frank talk for you.

I hit rock bottom. I'm never going there again. You can avoid it, but it requires affirmative action - aggressive action at that. And the sooner the better.

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How much did you spend on Fantasy FB entry fees this year?

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We are low budget. 40 bucks.