re: How to control mind from racing

Probably not the solution for most people, but getting on Risperdal made my OCD so much better and is the only thing that cures my mind from racing now, I literally can’t sleep without it because my mind races uncontrollably. It’s an antipsychotic used for schizophrenia usually so it’s pretty serious stuff.

I am completely convinced psychiatric medicine has saved my life, I would have definitely ended it all long ago without it.

I use Klonopin as needed which saves me during peak anxiety but it wipes me out and is definitely not for routine mind racing.

Just to give an update which is somewhat therapeutic for me. I have a call with a psychologist tomorrow. I went to BetterHealth which is a virtual platform to at least just see how it goes. Convienent to be able to zoom in my office and not need to take a lot of time off work. I know what is causing my looping thoughts and I’m hoping to figure out a way to not let these thought takeover, want to find out how to suppress these particular thought and enjoy life. Had a great Friday and Saturday morning but my wife and kid were one Saturday night so I was pretty lonely. Today (Sunday) was rough because I put myself in positions to see stuff that would hurt me.

I’ve decided to drink some Tito’s tonight which is muting the pain and I know is not a long-term fix but for now it’s the right call.

quote:

---

Just FYI, alcohol is not the answer to anxiety. It increases it.

---

I completely agree with this but when in the moment, it seems easier to drain the sorrow. This is 100% not the right thing to do.

My call with a psychologist is in 10 minutes to see what she says.

quote:

---

How was your first appointment?

---

For not knowing what to expect, I think it went pretty well. I appreciated the thought provoking questions that she was able to ask to have me think about the situation differently. There is a particular reason that I am where I currently am (I’d rather not discuss here) but we are hopefully going to uncover how I can start the recovery process.

I am excited for next weeks session to continue the journey to recovery.

Thanks for asking.

quote:

---

If you drink most days and then try and sleep without a dink or three, your mind will race like crazy.

---

I'm really trying to limit my drinking during the week.

quote:

---

3 grams of GABA before bed.

---

I googled this and it kept talking about Magnesium. Is this the same thing?

Just curious OP, but what does the world "feel like" or "look like" when you dont chase your thoughts? Have you tried to face the world as it is, instead of facing it while driving your brain?

In my case, the racing and never-present mind was a way of dissociating because I was in a lot of pain. Chasing every thought was a distraction. I had done it for so long that when I didnt do it and just looked outward at the world, it felt like I was in a fish bowl. Was actually kind of scary and overwhelming.

Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of? Are your thoughts the only thing you can control? The healing is in the scary part where you let go of it

quote:

---

How did you end up finally letting go? I know time is the healer of everything, but, was that all it took for you?

---

"Time heals what reason cannot" – Seneca

I spent a lot of time reading about psychology and trying to understand the reason for my turmoil. I dont know that I gained anything but intellectual insight. It didnt actually help with anything.

I tried meditation and had the same result as you. I ended up feeling more like I was failing. I understood the purpose and the supposed benefit but it often made me feel even more dissociated.

I tried self destructing (successfully!). That was obviously a bad choice.

I tried therapy and medication. Therapy just passed the time and medication just numbed me out.

I think the thing that's helped me the most is to just sort of move and act more slowly than I'm used to. I'm normally fast-paced and a fairly high achiever but I could no longer meet my own standards. The pace of life just made it impossible and that made me feel worse. So just slowing every action down to the amount of time it took to do it eventually slowed my mind. It's sort of like that saying "slow is smooth and smooth is fast". When I moved more slowly and deliberately, it opened me up to the present moment. I guess that's just a form of meditation that actually worked with me.

It turns out that there wasnt some magical ceremony that I needed to let go. I needed to be ok in the present. Letting go just sort of happened. But like Seneca said, reason couldnt heal me. It took time to try all of these things out until I stumbled upon the idea of "moving" more slowly.

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” Sigmund Freud

quote:

---

Radical Acceptance

---

Oh yep I’ve read Tara Brach. I think the key with radical self acceptance is to do it gently and not ram it down your own throat. If that makes sense.

If you’re interested, Jon Kabat-Zinn is also great. “Wherever you go, there you are” especially in audiobook.

When you feel comfortable, think about discussing the root of your issue. That’s the only way to cure it. It sounds deeply personal but I think that might be the only way to curb your problem.