re: Why do people cheat at Golf - Tuesday and Final Update

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Sounds like he knows he is in the wrong and tried to play by the rules. He sucked and decided that he would rather quit than suck it up and finish the round. I would reach out to him like you said you did and move on if he doesn’t reach back out.

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Maybe the guys he plays with are all try hard losers. We're only getting one side of the story

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Plus, he sent me a text an hour ago that he is taking some time off from golf.

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The role of good offices or mediator is not easy, and it sounds like you handled it with diplomacy and the correct intentions. From your posts, it appears you believe he’s a good guy and perhaps even consider him a friend. That need not change.

Maybe call him for a friendly game sans the regular group dynamic or just a drink between friends. Encourage him to practice playing the ball down and get comfortable. If he is a sweeper (I am) that likes soft fluffy, heck, even flyer lies - it doesn’t take much to make the adjustment of hitting out of divots, bare ground, and tight lies. You’ve got to embrace those shots, and frankly it’s how the game is played.

Once he gets his mind attuned to it and a puts a few rounds together playing the right way, his game will be fine and he can rejoin the group without compunction.

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He may be used to sweeping the ball and not having a perfect lie hurts him more than guys that hit down on it.


I think so too.

Plus, he sent me a text an hour ago that he is taking some time off from golf.

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That a sucky position for him to put you into. There are rules Donny. If you can't play by the rules, then the round isn't for you. I play in a similar group weekly, and I'm just learning the ropes. This is the first group I've played for money and that play hard core by the rules which is fine with me. I wasn't clear on drop rules in certain situations, and I took a drop in the wrong place. They corrected me and offered to even not dock me the stroke (they knew it wasn't intentional) and I insisted on counting it. There's no satisfaction in winning if you knowingly cheat along the way.

And speaking of a bad lie, I railed a drive one time recently with a friend and we were just playing for fun. Normally my buddy can outdrive me but I got him this hole so I had to talk some trash. Buddy rolls up and runs my ball over. Instead of just popping it out of the ground and hitting it close to where he ran it over, I decided to take an improbable swing at it. Put the ball a couple of feet from the hole from 150 out by doing so. We were laughing over that one. When I go to the driving range, I make it a point to simulate situations you see on the course including playing a lie from a divot or even a somewhat plugged ball.

Doesn't matter what people do when it's a just for fun round. They're only cheating themselves. I count my strokes 100%. When money is on the line, rules are rules.

Me and my golf buddies acknowledge we’re not pros. We don’t play for money either.

Our rules modifications are:

If we are playing a course with a range, play it down.
If the course doesn’t have a range, And we’re cold with no warmup, we allow one mulligan per 9. Can be anywhere. Not just off the tee.

We lift clean and place if it’s wet and the starter indicates such.
Divot lies are at the player’s discretion. Usually we don’t frick with it unless it’s egregious.
Gimmes inside 18 inches.

That’s just for our little group. If I was playing with strangers, or for money, everything is down.

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I'm as competitive a person as there is, but I hope I never get to this point with the game of golf.

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Same, someone gave me wise advice when they saw me getting angry on the course with my game.

“I am not good enough to get angry about this”

I tell myself that every time I have a miss hit or a missed putt.

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Maybe the guys he plays with are all try hard losers. We're only getting one side of the story

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Not sure where you are headed with this, but our group are all good guys and are friends.

If there is any fault, we let this guy get away with it too long.

I consider him a friend and I am planning on inviting him to lunch to smooth things over if possible.

That's pretty much how our group is. $15 per person pot, front nine winner gets $5 per player, Back nine gets $5 and overall gets $5. Birdies, Sandies, greenies and skins are worth $1. Eagle is $5 and hole in one is $25 per person.

I haven't lost more than $20 in a round. Not enough to make any real difference but kinda adds a bit of fun to the game.

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somewhat plugged ball

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rules are rules

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you know the rules say you get free relief from an embedded ball?

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Same, someone gave me wise advice when they saw me getting angry on the course with my game. “I am not good enough to get angry about this”

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I had never hit a golf ball until a friend in college introduced me to the game. He both loved and was a historian of the game. An amazingly patient guy, he was a great teacher. One good shot, and I was hooked, and we became best of friends. After he died in a freak car accident (a tire came off a commercial truck) ten years later, leaving behind a wife and two very young daughters, I never got angry on a golf course again. It’s a tribute I keep for him with every single round I play.

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We adopted the root rule

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Unless you're at a 4 star course, use the 3 R's

Roots
Rocks
Ruts


Most courses cannot eliminate them from normal play, they just don't have the budget. We play it down often but abide by the 3 R's.

If you are behind a tree, you cannot get relief from the tree, just the root.