re: the most embarrassed you’ve ever been

This thread got bumped....nice

I posted this in the embarrassing medical situation thread. It still applies here I suppose:



I had abdomen pain when I was in HS. The doc ran bloodwork. That in itself was scary for me, because I had only been to the doctor for flu, asthma, things like that. After lots of waiting, he told me I had appendicitis and needed surgery ASAP. I was floored. I called my mom, she came down to take care of all the paperwork. I started freaking out. I was extremely nervous during the scans. By the time they got me a room, I hadn’t eaten much and only drank the chalky stuff for the CAT scan.

I was in the room, freshly changed into the gown. My parents came in to reassure me. I’d never been put under in my life. The nurse came in to let me know how things would proceed. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, my backside exposed as is the nature of a hospital gown. My stomach was in nervous knots and I decided to let out a fart. Instead, i sprayed liquid shite all over the end of the bed, my arse cheeks, and whatever small piece of the gown that reached far enough around to absorb the blow.

That’s right, I was partially nude, in front of a nurse and my parents, and launched out liquified feces onto a clean bed and gown.

It’s been a few years and I hadn’t been a pharmacist for very long and I learned this lesson the hard way.. never just take what someone hands you

This nice middle age black guy came in the store and he had this rubbery “thing” I had never seen something like it before .. it was silicone and had a slit down the middle of it.. it had this fuzz on it and I couldn’t really piece it together …

So I go out on the floor and leave the pharmacy and talk to the guy to get more information about what he’s looking for.. I’m holding this thing in my hand and he said “ yeah I keep this on my dick to keep it hard”… plot twist.. it wasn’t fuzz it was fricking pubes …..

Internally I screamed , I don’t know how my face didn’t turn completely beet red. But I politely handed the pseudo cock ring back to the nice guy and said we didn’t carry that product ..

Walk back into the pharmacy and I just bathed in hand sanitizer and my manager was back there working with me and said what’s going on and I said “ I pretty much just touched this black guys dick” and everyone back there starting dying laughing

In high school I was one of three finalists for the lead role in a play. For the scene to determine who would get the role we had to say a few lines, pick up one of the finalists for the lead female role, and place her on a pedestal. Well, the drama teacher paired up the three male and female finalists for the scene. The pairings consisted of:
-Giant football player with very petite girl
-Another giant football player with petite girl
-Me and a girl that was about 250 lbs
Everybody knew what was about to happen but the drama teacher.
I actually made it pretty far carrying her but right before I made it to the pedestal my knees buckled and I dropped her. Nobody said a word except the girl I dropped who ran away crying. I felt like a big piece of crap but there was nothing I could do. I did not get the part.

I was working out at The Premiere Athletic Club in Metairie at The Galleria.
While I was working out on the Stairmaster Hoda Kotb showed up and I started paying more attention to her and less on the exercise.
The blood seemed to shift from one head to the other, when I busted my arse, everyone wanted to make sure I was okay, I had to wrap the towel around me and take the coldest shower possible.

Da hell you bumped it again

Honestly I have been reading through this thing the last 30 mins and this thread is gold. The Whit round table is fricking hilarious.

There are a bunch of good ones that I didn’t remember in here too. I am on page 11 and still going through them.

quote:

---

1. I'm at an important out-of-state business conference. Keynote speaker gets up and he has a black patch on one eye.

Guy next to me whispers "ahoy matey." It was stupid, but I couldn't stop laughing then the guy next me couldn't stop laughing. We were getting looks.

2. In Church with the entire family on Easter Sunday. Sister on one side of me, cousin Chuck on the other. Preacher announces that this kid, with a high squeaky Texas drawl voice was going to sing a solo. It was god awful. I tell myself that if I look over at Chuck or my sister I'm going to crack up. I finally look at Chuck, he breaks up and I break up then my sister breaks up.

---

Trying not to laugh in situations like that is impossible. Been in that situation several times in church, class, or meetings. It’s horrible yet hilarious.

quote:

---

I've always taken massive dumps but this one looked like one of those sausages hanging from the ceiling at a butcher shop. Had to ask where their plunger was

---

They didn’t have a poop knife?