Any funny dad stories?

Yesterday I took my dad out to eat and as we were walking out the restaurant his old arse cut one of the loudest farts I’ve ever heard.
Old people don’t give a damn

Got a BBGun for Christmas. We went out back and pop put a target on a fence post. My first shot bounced back and hit him in the nuts. He hung the target on the clothesline before I shot again.

When I was about 13 years old my dad always fell asleep in a recliner after lunch. He would snore with his mouth wide open. One time my brother and I found him like this and dropped some corn from lunch down his mouth. He jumped up, nearly choking to death and came after us, doubled belt in hand, and ran us out the house. R.I.P dad.......love and miss you!

I was working in the yard with my dad one day, and he told me to get him the shovel,

lazy me gets about 15 feet from him and throws it to him, when I holler at him to catch it, he turns toward me and the metal part hit the ground and the handle hit him in the face.

yup, got my arse whipped with his belt.

When I was five or six my dad took me fishing for the first time. He tells me to pay attention, this is how you cast, and promptly tosses the entire rod in to the lake. Spent the rest of the day fishing it out with the other pole, but sure enough he reeled in it bragging about the size of his catch.

It was early and barely light as my dad and I walked across a cutover soybean field towards the treeline at my uncle's land (600+ acres) in northeast Texas. As we neared the tree line, a large pig came running out of the woods in the darkness of the dawn. I was 20 yards away from my dad. The pig was running right at me and my dad yelled at me to stop. 3 shots broke the silence of the air and the crows started crying out and flying all over, angry at my dad for disturbing the quiet. My dad walked over to the pig and told me to stay where I was. His gun was trained on the still pig. It had fallen dead about 10 yards in front of me but everything was still grey in the dim light. I was 11 years old, and when my dad leaned down to one knee next to the pig, for the first time in my life I heard him say the "f-word". I knew the word. I also knew if I said it that it would mean the belt for me. So I was really surprised to hear my dad say this word. Ignoring my dad's instructions I walked over to him. When he felt my presence next to him he looked up at me from his kneeled position and said, "I just killed your cousin's 4-H pet pig, damn it."

The damn pig had broken out of its pen and was just looking for a handout. My cousin and I still laugh about it and I don't know which was worse for my dad. He was very straight-laced, having been raised in a very fundamentalist preacher's home: his guilt over killing the pig or his guilt over saying the f-bomb in front of his 11 year old son. Not sure which bothered him the most.

I was about 12-13 helping my dad change the water pump on his beater work truck. He always had a beater to drive to the plant and back. Mom always had the nice car. Anyway, the wrench slipped and he busted his knuckles on the engine. He dropped the first f-bomb I had ever heard from him. It showed me a different side of him and made me feel more of a man. RIP Daddy.

Not really funny, but my dad let me run a welding machine when I was 8ish years old. Had me driving tractors by myself at 6. Running a backhoe at 10. Now that I have kids of my own, it’s hard to believe how many more things my dad had me doing—like learning to drive on old parish roads at age 13/14. By the time I hit 15 and got a license, I was pulling goosenecks solo across the southeast.

Actually, one thing that stands out in my memory: I was 15, just got my license, and I was following my dad down the highway. He stopped at an intersection, and I drove my truck squarely into his rear bumper. Destroyed my (his) truck, and I was expecting him to explode. Instead, he calmly came back, checked on me, then pulled out a chain to tow my truck back home. He was nonchalant about the whole thing, although he did make me pay for the repairs ($650 when I was earning $3.50/hr part time took forever). Gonna miss that man when he’s gone.

One evening after dinner one night, my dad asked me to take a drive with him. We ended up at Webb Park golf course walking with a flashlight and fishing rod. He had played golf that day and got so mad he threw one of his clubs up into a tree . we tried to get it down. Hahaha. No luck.

This story is funny to me now, but wasn't funny when it happened

Pops had bought a new boat in 1980 and we went fishing at Lake Verret with his buddy and his son and myself. We didn't catch much around verret so on the way back we stopped at some oil storage area that has some borrow pits near it. Pops and his buddy were fishing the pit and me and the other boy stayed near the boat. THe other boy told me that he didn't think I could start the new motor so to prove him wrong I got up in the boat and pulled the starter cord. damn thing fired up running wide arse open and I shut it down with the quickness but not before my old man heard the motor running wide arse open. He came running and he busted my arse with his belt for damn near ruining his new motor. Like I said, funny now but not then. LOL