re: What's the best bad joke you know?

A mom was cleaning her son’s room and came across some bondage equipment and bondage porn. Upset, she told the husband. “What should we do?” she asked. “Well, I’m no expert,” he said. “But I don’t think we should spank him.“

A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist’s office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”

The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good. And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”

And the moth says, “‘Cause the light was on."

What's the only bad thing about eating a vegetable?



Putting her back in the wheelchair.




Yeah, going to hell for that one.

Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to the other, "Hey, whaddya say we go in there and get shite-faced?"

Difference between The Rolling Stones and an Irishman.
Rolling Stones- Hey you get off of my cloud.
Irishman - Hey McCloud get off of my ewe.

Patient: Doctor you have to help me I think I'm invisible. Doctor: I'm sorry I can't see you right now.

What does a gay horse eat for lunch?


Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy

Hot girl with short hair

That’s an awesome one reminds me of this one:

A student is taking his last final exam at LSU when his professor calls time. People around him groan but get up to return their exams, some of them clearly not able to finish in time. He furiously continues to answer the last remaining questions as his professor starts calling to him to get up and return his exam. Minutes after the time was called, he finally finishes his exam and walks down the aisle to the front of the classroom, where he confronts his professor. His professor says, “Sorry sir, but I can’t accept this exam. You exceeded the time limit, and it would be unfair for me to grade this exam.”

The student explodes: “I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS OUTRAGE! IF ONLY YOU KNEW THE MISTAKE YOU WERE MAKING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!!” to which the professor coolly replies, “No, sir, I do not.” The student quickly slips his blue book into the stack of the rest of the blue books, turns to the professor with a grin, and says, “I didn’t think so.” and walks out the door.