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Started By
Message
Supporting nieces and nephews
Posted on 11/6/20 at 4:17 am
Posted on 11/6/20 at 4:17 am
I have a 6 year old niece that I love dearly. She’s hilarious, smart, and loves practical jokes. She is autistic which requires some accommodations, specifically school.
Her parents are no longer in a financial position to be able to afford the school she’s been going to for years. This school helps special needs children and her development there has truly been remarkable.
I am in a position to pay for the school. It’s about $5k a semester out of pocket. Her parents are extremely embarrassed to be in this situation and instead of asking for help, they are planning to send my niece to public chool.
How would you go about offering to pay? This is clearly for the betterment of my niece, but don’t want to never see her again if I embarrass her parents. It’s their child so I expect a few “mins your business” responses.
Any suggestions on how you’d handle this type of situation?
Her parents are no longer in a financial position to be able to afford the school she’s been going to for years. This school helps special needs children and her development there has truly been remarkable.
I am in a position to pay for the school. It’s about $5k a semester out of pocket. Her parents are extremely embarrassed to be in this situation and instead of asking for help, they are planning to send my niece to public chool.
How would you go about offering to pay? This is clearly for the betterment of my niece, but don’t want to never see her again if I embarrass her parents. It’s their child so I expect a few “mins your business” responses.
Any suggestions on how you’d handle this type of situation?
21
Posted on 11/6/20 at 4:22 am to WestLakeOHTiger
Youre family, I dont see why it would be an issue.
Just tell them you love your niece and you want what's best for her. You're family and you are willing to help out if they would like. No hard feelings either way, but you just felt you had to offer.
Just tell them you love your niece and you want what's best for her. You're family and you are willing to help out if they would like. No hard feelings either way, but you just felt you had to offer.
Posted on 11/6/20 at 4:55 am to im4LSU
Agree 100%. If you can afford it, do so. 
Posted on 11/6/20 at 4:56 am to WestLakeOHTiger
Before you do that, look and see what the public school offers.
I have a really good friend who had four kids. He has more than enough resources to put them all through private school and he and his wife had always planned to do that. All of his kids started in private school.
One of his kids had some sort of learning disability. While the teachers said that he was a very smart kid, he just had a hard time paying attention and concentrating.
Him and his wife did a lot of research. In the end, they found that the public school had tons of resources that the private school didn't offer. He wound up putting the kid in a public school through 7th grade. The kid got the extra attention he needed and progressed greatly. Admittedly, his wife did spend an extraordinary amount of time with the kid and pretty much spoke with his teachers on a daily basis to make sure that they were "all in." By the time the kid was to enter 8th grade, he didn't need all the extra attention from his teachers and he went to a Catholic school for high school. Of course, my friend's wife spent every school night with the kid on his school work even through high school -- something she didn't do with her other kids because they didn't need it.
All four of this guy's kids graduated from Catholic schools and they all went on to graduate from college.
So, before you just spend $10K/year, go and see what the public school offers.
I have a really good friend who had four kids. He has more than enough resources to put them all through private school and he and his wife had always planned to do that. All of his kids started in private school.
One of his kids had some sort of learning disability. While the teachers said that he was a very smart kid, he just had a hard time paying attention and concentrating.
Him and his wife did a lot of research. In the end, they found that the public school had tons of resources that the private school didn't offer. He wound up putting the kid in a public school through 7th grade. The kid got the extra attention he needed and progressed greatly. Admittedly, his wife did spend an extraordinary amount of time with the kid and pretty much spoke with his teachers on a daily basis to make sure that they were "all in." By the time the kid was to enter 8th grade, he didn't need all the extra attention from his teachers and he went to a Catholic school for high school. Of course, my friend's wife spent every school night with the kid on his school work even through high school -- something she didn't do with her other kids because they didn't need it.
All four of this guy's kids graduated from Catholic schools and they all went on to graduate from college.
So, before you just spend $10K/year, go and see what the public school offers.
Posted on 11/6/20 at 4:57 am to im4LSU
An anonymous donation to the school for her tuition might be a good idea... 
Posted on 11/6/20 at 4:57 am to WestLakeOHTiger
Roll on dude! If I was in the same position as you, and mine needed it, I would without hesitation..
Posted on 11/6/20 at 6:35 am to BuddyRoeaux
quote:Maybe arrange for the school to tell them she was awarded a "scholarship".
An anonymous donation to the school for her tuition might be a good idea...
Posted on 11/6/20 at 6:38 am to Sidicous
quote:
Maybe arrange for the school to tell them she was awarded a "scholarship".
I think we have a winner!
Posted on 11/6/20 at 6:45 am to WestLakeOHTiger
Get with the parents and let them know that you want to help and will be sending an anonymous cashiers check to the school before each semester to cover the amount of the child’s tuition. Do it registered mail. Take a picture of the check and the delivery received receipt and send that to the dad or mom so they know it happened. Assure them that you will not tell anyone of the transaction.
Give alms in secret. I was taught that a long time ago.
Thanks for helping them out.
PS: (Sorry, it’s procedure here: Pics of the girl’s Mom?)
Give alms in secret. I was taught that a long time ago.
Thanks for helping them out.
PS: (Sorry, it’s procedure here: Pics of the girl’s Mom?)
Posted on 11/6/20 at 6:47 am to Sidicous
quote:
An anonymous donation to the school for her tuition might be a good idea...
Maybe arrange for the school to tell them she was awarded a "scholarship".
Similar idea to both of these.
Speak with a financial advisor about setting up a trust for this purpose and have the school make the offer.
Posted on 11/6/20 at 7:12 am to WestLakeOHTiger
Say, "frick that! I'll pay for her to go to the school she needs to be in." Family does this type of thing all the time. You're family and an awesome man. Family first
Posted on 11/6/20 at 7:18 am to WestLakeOHTiger
Tell them you got an unexpected windfall and want to give ia portion of it to their daughter for school. Then never speak of it again.
Posted on 11/6/20 at 7:19 am to im4LSU
quote:
Youre family, I dont see why it would be an issue.
quote:
Just tell them you love your niece and you want what's best for her. You're family and you are willing to help out if they would like. No hard feelings either way, but you just felt you had to offer.
All of this. 100%.
Posted on 11/6/20 at 7:26 am to WestLakeOHTiger
good on you; many good solutions above.
Posted on 11/6/20 at 7:27 am to WestLakeOHTiger
I would have a talk with her parents and tell them that you understand having too much pride, but this is their daughter.
Do not hurt her future because they have too much pride to accept help. Family helps each other and tell them to please consider not letting their daughter be the victim of them having too much pride.
Do not hurt her future because they have too much pride to accept help. Family helps each other and tell them to please consider not letting their daughter be the victim of them having too much pride.
Posted on 11/6/20 at 7:28 am to WestLakeOHTiger
Keep it super private. Tell them you don’t want anyone to know either. This will help with their embarrassment
Posted on 11/6/20 at 7:29 am to WestLakeOHTiger
I did this before.
Straight out told my sister at that time made good money, invested well, and wanted to spend my money on my family.
I told her it makes me happy that I was and still in a position to help.
Straight out told my sister at that time made good money, invested well, and wanted to spend my money on my family.
I told her it makes me happy that I was and still in a position to help.
Posted on 11/6/20 at 7:31 am to WestLakeOHTiger
How autistic are we talking? That word gets used a shite ton.
Posted on 11/6/20 at 7:42 am to WestLakeOHTiger
Go to the school. Yourself and let them know you are providing a scholarship for her but want it to be anonymous. Never tell them it's you.
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