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re: How many times in your adult life have you legit shite your pants
Posted on 12/9/19 at 9:41 pm to Mr Personality
Posted on 12/9/19 at 9:41 pm to Mr Personality
(no message)
This post was edited on 12/24/21 at 7:00 am
1
Posted on 12/9/19 at 9:45 pm to Mr Personality
Once, in Navy bootcamp. I wasn’t used to the Navy chow and it did a number on my stomach one day. Unfortunately this happened to be the day our RTC decided to spend the entire afternoon practicing marching drill on the parade grounds. Up and down we marched for nearly four hours, my desperation growing by the minute. The nearest toilets were a couple of miles away at the barracks, and we weren’t allowed to go anywhere by ourselves. My only option was to address our RTC in front of my entire division to request that we all go back to the barracks so that I could use the head. I refused to even consider that option. Around hour 3 I was in agony. It was also a hot day which made the discomfort even worse. At that point one of the bigger retards in our division fricked up which royally pissed off our RTC, so he decided to PT us on the spot. I made it through a round of pushups but the crunches were more than I could take, with the result of me literally losing control of my bowels. shite hot liquid all over my PT sweatpants. You couldn’t really visually tell because we were all sweating our asses off, but it smelled god awful. On the march back to the barracks all the other recruits were gagging lol. Good times!
This post was edited on 12/9/19 at 9:51 pm
Posted on 12/9/19 at 9:56 pm to Mr Personality
Once on a first date.
Once in the streets of Venice on my First honeymoon.
Once yesterday due to stomach virus.
Three for sure.
Once in the streets of Venice on my First honeymoon.
Once yesterday due to stomach virus.
Three for sure.
Posted on 12/9/19 at 10:23 pm to Mr Personality
Not many, but the last was a few months ago. I've been on a diet and lost 40 pounds. Side effect is I've been shitting like crazy. I guess cleaning myself out.
One day I ate a salad from Jersey Mike's and they dosed it in tons of oil and vinegar. I got back on the interstate and 30 minutes later I was about to blow it in my car seat. My butt was telling me it was coming out no matter what I did.
I pulled into a shopping center and tried to make it into the Barnes and Noble bathroom. I got half way thru the store when it started coming. Luckily what did come out was in my underwear and not my pants. I threw the underwear in the trash and free balled it the rest of the day.
One day I ate a salad from Jersey Mike's and they dosed it in tons of oil and vinegar. I got back on the interstate and 30 minutes later I was about to blow it in my car seat. My butt was telling me it was coming out no matter what I did.
I pulled into a shopping center and tried to make it into the Barnes and Noble bathroom. I got half way thru the store when it started coming. Luckily what did come out was in my underwear and not my pants. I threw the underwear in the trash and free balled it the rest of the day.
Posted on 12/9/19 at 10:24 pm to Mr Personality
I've come really close recently on some long road trips where I'm miles away from any gas station
My biggest fear was shitting in the damn convenient store running for the bathroom
My biggest fear was shitting in the damn convenient store running for the bathroom
Posted on 12/9/19 at 10:28 pm to Mr Personality
Probably 5. The worse time was when I was still a classroom teacher. Was going over D Day and damn if I didn’t go right there. Had to run home and shower
Posted on 12/9/19 at 10:32 pm to Mr Personality
O/U on number of LLotOT posting in here - 0.5
Posted on 12/9/19 at 10:39 pm to Mr Personality
By accident or on purpose?
Posted on 12/9/19 at 10:41 pm to Mr Personality
Breaking wind with confidence, is WAY UNDERRATED!
Posted on 12/9/19 at 10:42 pm to Mr Personality
Popeyes spicy chicken sandwich in Gonzales. Shite trying to get to a bathroom in gramercy.
Posted on 12/9/19 at 10:52 pm to Mr Personality
Exactly zero.
Posted on 12/9/19 at 11:30 pm to Mr Personality
3 to 50 times.
This post was edited on 12/9/19 at 11:31 pm
Posted on 12/9/19 at 11:33 pm to Mr Personality
4 or 5
Did it on my wedding day. First thing in the morning too. I made it useful though. I knew we were going to have to do those awkward bridal party poses where the photographer is like "Ok, everybody look at the couple and pretend like someone said something REALLY funny! Everybody laugh!". No one ever does a good job faking those.
So when she said it and started snapping the pics, I told them all that I shite my pants that morning, legit. Lets just say the smiles in those pics are legit.
Did it on my wedding day. First thing in the morning too. I made it useful though. I knew we were going to have to do those awkward bridal party poses where the photographer is like "Ok, everybody look at the couple and pretend like someone said something REALLY funny! Everybody laugh!". No one ever does a good job faking those.
So when she said it and started snapping the pics, I told them all that I shite my pants that morning, legit. Lets just say the smiles in those pics are legit.
This post was edited on 12/9/19 at 11:34 pm
Posted on 12/9/19 at 11:48 pm to Mr Personality
I quit shitting my pants when I was 3.
Posted on 12/10/19 at 1:00 am to Mr Personality
How old are you nasty fricks?
Posted on 12/10/19 at 1:28 am to Mr Personality
(no message)
This post was edited on 12/17/21 at 9:14 pm
Posted on 12/10/19 at 1:37 am to Mr Personality
quote:
legit shite your pants
You mean reset the clock.
Signed Michael Butler and Dave Slusher
Posted on 12/10/19 at 4:25 am to Mr Personality
A couple of times. Before I learned about lactose problems
Posted on 12/10/19 at 7:02 am to Mr Personality
In high school I was eating at a new Hibachi restaurant with my girlfriend and a couple of our friends. Everything was fine. Food was great. My girlfriend and her friends wanted to do a little shopping afterwards so I rode home by myself. This turned out to be a true blessing from the sweet Lord himself.
I am about 10 minutes from my house when I feel this awful twist in my stomach. I proceed to hover over my CLOTH seats in my car puckering my arse hole the whole way home. I am dog cussing my arse hole to stay closed, sweating profusely.
You may be thinking, why didn't you just pull over, get out and shite on the road. I legit could not move without shitting myself.I turn on the road towards my house and the result of me making a sudden turn in the steering wheel and relaxing my cheeks ever so slightly results in me full on arse blasting my pants. Straight water. But I think to myself its fine I'm hovering over the seats its all ok.
I get out of my car, I can feel it all down my legs and in my shoes. I look at my seat and its covered in black liquid. The car reeks. I throw up beside the car its so bad. My dad comes out and is just amazed at what my arse has done to this car. We had to replace the entire seat. The smell lingered for a good 3 weeks and I had to use my grandmothers beat up old truck till the smell was gone.
That Hibachi restaurant closed down 3 months later. I woke up the next morning and my entire body feels like I played three football games bc I was so tense hovering over my seat on the way home for 10 straight minutes.
I am about 10 minutes from my house when I feel this awful twist in my stomach. I proceed to hover over my CLOTH seats in my car puckering my arse hole the whole way home. I am dog cussing my arse hole to stay closed, sweating profusely.
You may be thinking, why didn't you just pull over, get out and shite on the road. I legit could not move without shitting myself.I turn on the road towards my house and the result of me making a sudden turn in the steering wheel and relaxing my cheeks ever so slightly results in me full on arse blasting my pants. Straight water. But I think to myself its fine I'm hovering over the seats its all ok.
I get out of my car, I can feel it all down my legs and in my shoes. I look at my seat and its covered in black liquid. The car reeks. I throw up beside the car its so bad. My dad comes out and is just amazed at what my arse has done to this car. We had to replace the entire seat. The smell lingered for a good 3 weeks and I had to use my grandmothers beat up old truck till the smell was gone.
That Hibachi restaurant closed down 3 months later. I woke up the next morning and my entire body feels like I played three football games bc I was so tense hovering over my seat on the way home for 10 straight minutes.
This post was edited on 12/10/19 at 7:07 am
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