- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Coaching Changes
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Cue Benny Hill Theme: Wife ordered a sack of Crawfish
Posted on 3/29/19 at 7:49 am
Posted on 3/29/19 at 7:49 am
Wife mentioned last weekend wanting to cook some crawfish this Friday for the Auburn game. I kind of nodded my head and said sure. I'll eat my weight in seafood and catfish and shrimp but I'm not really a Crawfish guy. I don't know how to cook em. The whole rip the head off and suck on it like a Tijuana hooker just kind of grosses me out. They honestly kind of give me the willies. I don't know anything about them. Cue yesterday she tells me I need to stop on Friday and grab a sack of Crawfish.
Me: "A sack? You mean a full SACK sack or like they are giving us a small sack out of a full sack?"
Her: "A full sack. Supposed to be around 35lbs."
Me: "A full sack? Just for us? 35lbs?!?! You know that isn't going to fit in our little 30qt seafood pot... let alone with the fixings"
Her: "[insert list of 5 other people] are coming tomorrow too. We can do it in batches I guess? I found a few threads on Tiger Droppings on how to cook them. You know Soak or Sprinkle."
Me: Blank face
Her "Look at this guys response... PV=nRT. That's hilarious".
I've done low country boils with 5-10lbs of shrimp in our little 30qt turkey fryer but a full sack of crawfish is a whole different animal. And you know who will be stuck doing all the work cooking these little assholes.
<----This Guy
So she sends me to Academy to get some of this shite which is apparently what she has decided on based on her Googles and Tiger Droppings search.
LINK to sack of shite
So I enter Academy last night and what do I see as I enter the store right front and center in front of the entrance? A giant display of crawfish boiling paraphernalia. I grabbed several cheap giant crawfish platters and that bag of shite the wife sent me into the store for. But the Pièce De Résistance stacked in a neat orderly pyramid behind the display table of crap like a giant fkning Taj Mahal of crawfish murder are their 80qt pot/strainers packaged with a jet boiler for $129. To hell with that shitty little 30qt pot. I'm buying that m'fr.
So sometime today I have to drive out and pick the little creepy aholes up. Most of the threads about transportation talk about long hauls. I'm just 15 minutes away from the place but I'm guessing I can't just sling the aholes into the bed of the truck. How big of a cooler would it take to hold a sack of aholes? I don't like the idea of the sack of aholes pissing and shitting in my beer cooler. I sure as shite ain't letting their creepy asses ride in the cab. Wet burlap? Who eh hell keeps rolls of burlap around their house? Would a rubbermaid tub with a wet towel on top be sufficient to keep them alive until I boil their asses to death?
Me: "A sack? You mean a full SACK sack or like they are giving us a small sack out of a full sack?"
Her: "A full sack. Supposed to be around 35lbs."
Me: "A full sack? Just for us? 35lbs?!?! You know that isn't going to fit in our little 30qt seafood pot... let alone with the fixings"
Her: "[insert list of 5 other people] are coming tomorrow too. We can do it in batches I guess? I found a few threads on Tiger Droppings on how to cook them. You know Soak or Sprinkle."
Me: Blank face
Her "Look at this guys response... PV=nRT. That's hilarious".
I've done low country boils with 5-10lbs of shrimp in our little 30qt turkey fryer but a full sack of crawfish is a whole different animal. And you know who will be stuck doing all the work cooking these little assholes.
<----This Guy
So she sends me to Academy to get some of this shite which is apparently what she has decided on based on her Googles and Tiger Droppings search.
LINK to sack of shite
So I enter Academy last night and what do I see as I enter the store right front and center in front of the entrance? A giant display of crawfish boiling paraphernalia. I grabbed several cheap giant crawfish platters and that bag of shite the wife sent me into the store for. But the Pièce De Résistance stacked in a neat orderly pyramid behind the display table of crap like a giant fkning Taj Mahal of crawfish murder are their 80qt pot/strainers packaged with a jet boiler for $129. To hell with that shitty little 30qt pot. I'm buying that m'fr.
So sometime today I have to drive out and pick the little creepy aholes up. Most of the threads about transportation talk about long hauls. I'm just 15 minutes away from the place but I'm guessing I can't just sling the aholes into the bed of the truck. How big of a cooler would it take to hold a sack of aholes? I don't like the idea of the sack of aholes pissing and shitting in my beer cooler. I sure as shite ain't letting their creepy asses ride in the cab. Wet burlap? Who eh hell keeps rolls of burlap around their house? Would a rubbermaid tub with a wet towel on top be sufficient to keep them alive until I boil their asses to death?
This post was edited on 3/29/19 at 7:52 am
18
Posted on 3/29/19 at 7:59 am to DeoreDX
quote:
I'm just 15 minutes away from the place but I'm guessing I can't just sling the aholes into the bed of the truck.
Yes you can. If your getting on the interstate, put them closer to the cab. Water then down when you get home.
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:02 am to DeoreDX
You can sling them in the bed of the truck to get them home being only 15 minutes away. Chances are they are being kept refrigerated at the store and if you take them home to boil within an hour or so once home they will be fine if you just dump them out of the sack into a container and keep them out of the direct sun.
I think it is getting into the low 70's today in N.O. so that is OK. If you are keeping them for several hours, put them in an ice chest and toss some ice over them and leave the plug open so any melting ice can drain out.
I think it is getting into the low 70's today in N.O. so that is OK. If you are keeping them for several hours, put them in an ice chest and toss some ice over them and leave the plug open so any melting ice can drain out.
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:05 am to DeoreDX
Your wife sounds like a cool arse chick............pics?
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:05 am to DeoreDX
You may want to tell your wife to have a back up plan when your boil does not come out right. Based on your lack of interest will produce a sub par product.
You may want to buy a 35lb already cooked crawfish and place them in the ice chest. These will be your crawfish to serve first. Then for the show have your new paraphernalia on display making it look that you cooked the first batch while cooking the second batch. Make sure the guest get all drunk by the time you need to tap into your ”oh shite what am I doing pot of crawfish”. The guest won't know the difference.
Good luck
You may want to buy a 35lb already cooked crawfish and place them in the ice chest. These will be your crawfish to serve first. Then for the show have your new paraphernalia on display making it look that you cooked the first batch while cooking the second batch. Make sure the guest get all drunk by the time you need to tap into your ”oh shite what am I doing pot of crawfish”. The guest won't know the difference.
Good luck
This post was edited on 3/29/19 at 8:08 am
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:20 am to NOLATiger71
quote:
You may want to tell your wife to have a back up plan when your boil does not come out right. Based on your lack of interest will produce a sub par product.
I do have about 100lbs of pork in a cooler in the garage I'm about to put on the smoker for our end of year scout banquet tomorrow
But hopefully I absorb enough knowledge between now and when the aholes are murdered to put out an acceptable product.
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:21 am to DeoreDX
quote:
I'm just 15 minutes away from the place but I'm guessing I can't just sling the aholes into the bed of the truck.
Sure you can.
quote:
How big of a cooler would it take to hold a sack of aholes?
Some aholes are bigger than others. quote:
Would a rubbermaid tub with a wet towel on top be sufficient to keep them alive until I boil their asses to death?
Yes.
Add in corn, potatoes, garlic, and onion at a minimum. Throw in a few links of sausage if you really don't like crawfish.
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:27 am to DeoreDX
Apparently I'm supposed to go back to Academy today to buy this.
and this.
and this which she said would be good to beat my arse with. "Probably hurts worse once it gets soaked with spices"
and this.
and this which she said would be good to beat my arse with. "Probably hurts worse once it gets soaked with spices"
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:29 am to DeoreDX
You definitely should update this throughout the process. Will definitely read. Don’t forget the pics.
This post was edited on 3/29/19 at 8:30 am
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:29 am to SkintBack
Sounds like a very cool wife that knows what's good! She may have bigger balls than husband!
This post was edited on 3/29/19 at 8:30 am
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:31 am to Fight4LSU
For OP.....
Take pics of everyone enjoying crawfish while you sit in the corner eating fast food.
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:52 am to Cajunate
OP, seriously its full proof
cut the bag and put the crawfish in an ice chest and rinse them 5 or 6 times... some places have really clean crawfish and it can take only 2-3 rinses
Bag of LA seasoning, 8 oz liquid, 8-10 lemons (i use a whole container of lemon juice instead, 8-10 onions cut in half, 12 garlics cut in half, celery for seasoning
the fixings you already know about that so im not going into detail about that
when you drop them in and get to a roiling boil again, i go two minutes and cut fire, spray outside of pot with water to cool it down and let them soak for 30 or so minutes until they sink
cut the bag and put the crawfish in an ice chest and rinse them 5 or 6 times... some places have really clean crawfish and it can take only 2-3 rinses
Bag of LA seasoning, 8 oz liquid, 8-10 lemons (i use a whole container of lemon juice instead, 8-10 onions cut in half, 12 garlics cut in half, celery for seasoning
the fixings you already know about that so im not going into detail about that
when you drop them in and get to a roiling boil again, i go two minutes and cut fire, spray outside of pot with water to cool it down and let them soak for 30 or so minutes until they sink
This post was edited on 3/29/19 at 8:56 am
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:54 am to DeoreDX
Have fun. Everyone here had to start at some point. There is a bit of a learning curve.
I'd recommend bringing that 80qt back and get a 100qt
I'd recommend bringing that 80qt back and get a 100qt
Posted on 3/29/19 at 8:57 am to DeoreDX
Ill give you a beginners guide to cooking them. It isnt the recipe I use anymore, but its the most fool proof way to get good crawfish and lower your error rate
1. You have an 80 qt pot, so fill in up half way
2. Put one 4.5lb bag of louisiana fish fry crawfish seasoning and 1/2 cup of cayenne in the water
3. Put in onions, garlic, and potatoes
4. Start your fire
5. Once pot goes to a boil, let it continue to boil for 15-20 minutes. Taste the potatoes for texture around this point. Once to your liking, go to step 6.
6. Put the crawfish in the pot with all the fixings and IMMEDIATELY CUT OFF THE FIRE. This is different than how I do it and most experienced cooks do it, but this gives you a margin for error. Dont worry, the water is still hot and the crawfish still are cooking.
7. Put in frozen corn.
8. Start testing crawfish 15-20 minutes after putting them in pot for your preferred taste
I have given many first time no experience cooks in TN these directions and they always come out with good crawfish
Here is the picture of the seasoning bag
1. You have an 80 qt pot, so fill in up half way
2. Put one 4.5lb bag of louisiana fish fry crawfish seasoning and 1/2 cup of cayenne in the water
3. Put in onions, garlic, and potatoes
4. Start your fire
5. Once pot goes to a boil, let it continue to boil for 15-20 minutes. Taste the potatoes for texture around this point. Once to your liking, go to step 6.
6. Put the crawfish in the pot with all the fixings and IMMEDIATELY CUT OFF THE FIRE. This is different than how I do it and most experienced cooks do it, but this gives you a margin for error. Dont worry, the water is still hot and the crawfish still are cooking.
7. Put in frozen corn.
8. Start testing crawfish 15-20 minutes after putting them in pot for your preferred taste
I have given many first time no experience cooks in TN these directions and they always come out with good crawfish
Here is the picture of the seasoning bag
This post was edited on 3/29/19 at 9:00 am
Posted on 3/29/19 at 9:05 am to Bigpoppat
quote:
I'd recommend bringing that 80qt back and get a 100qt
I have an 80 qt. and have probably cooked a couple hundred sacks in it over the years, but a 100 qt. would have come in handy when sacks are in the 40+ lb. range.
My pot is full to the top with the heavier sacks and I'm probably going to put the 80 qt. aside and get me a new 100 qt. soon.
Posted on 3/29/19 at 9:15 am to DeoreDX
quote:
The whole rip the head off and suck on it like a Tijuana hooker just kind of grosses me out. They honestly kind of give me the willies.
This is going to be fun. Please report back play by play.
Posted on 3/29/19 at 9:25 am to lsupride87
quote:
Ill give you a beginners guide to cooking them. It isnt the recipe I use anymore, but its the most fool proof way to get good crawfish and lower your error rate
pre-shate any pointers!
quote:
6. Put the crawfish in the pot with all the fixings and IMMEDIATELY CUT OFF THE FIRE. This is different than how I do it and most experienced cooks do it, but this gives you a margin for error. Dont worry, the water is still hot and the crawfish still are cooking.
Everything pretty much sounds like what we had planned on doing except the cut off immediately instead of boil for 2 minutes then cut off (some also say spray the side of the pot with water to help cool it down quicker?). I take it this is to keep from overcooking the aholes? I don't mind sacrificing a little extra cook? soak? time to make sure they aren't overcooked.
quote:
8. Start testing crawfish 15-20 minutes after putting them in pot for your preferred taste
Is it purely looking for taste at this point (soaking in more of the bag o shite) or are they still coking and looking for taste and texture?
quote:
I have given many first time no experience cooks in TN these directions and they always come out with good crawfish
Lets hope it works as well in Alabama
quote:
Here is the picture of the seasoning bag
That would be the aforementioned bag of shite.
Posted on 3/29/19 at 9:25 am to DeoreDX
quote:Just skip this part. It's dumb. Dig the yella out and eat it if it doesn't come out with the tail when you do the rip.
The whole rip the head off and suck on it
Posted on 3/29/19 at 9:26 am to DeoreDX
I got that exact pot/burner as a wedding gift, you're definitely going to want to replace the regulator with a hi-flow regulator, it'll take forever to get boiling with the one that it comes with. It's doable but yea the factory regulator kinda sucks.
Posted on 3/29/19 at 9:27 am to Gris Gris
quote:
The whole rip the head off and suck on it like a Tijuana hooker just kind of grosses me out. They honestly kind of give me the willies.
This is going to be fun. Please report back play by play.
My plan is to give the wife a big exaggerated wink every time she sucks on a crawfish head.
Page 1 of 6
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News