re: What was the best one liners your high school coaches used?

Ha... another one I thought about:

No so much sports related, but boot camp. I was 18 and in Marine Corps boot camp. It was towards the end of the 3 month training cycle, so we weren’t getting killed as much by the Drill Instructors as the previous 2 months. The range was over, and I think we were doing the crucible. Anyway, I was tasked to do some perimeter recon while our group was huddled up posting security. Anyway, I notice some shite while doing perimeter recon, so I knelt down on BOTH KNEES to write it down. Didn’t think anything of it. Suddenly This 6’5 (conservatively) Drill instructor of ours comes out of nowhere in the fricking woods and sneaks up on me. He looks square down at me and says “Son, there’s only 2 reasons for a man to be on both knees... and you ain’t praying”

Then casually snuck back into the tree line and out of sight. Took me a second to put it together. To this day, I’ve never knelt down on both knees since and that was nearly 12 years ago...

Boy you couldn't block your way out of a at paper bag!

You got to wrap up like they do late night on HBO!

After a lineman kept missing his block, “What’s wrong Frank? Are you having your period?”

When facing a tough opponent. “They fantasize about Trent’s mom just like we do!”

(Trent was a player on our team whose mom was hot)

our pitcher threw the very first pitch of the game.

it was a ball that just missed inside.

coach, "YOU'RE GONNA WALK THE WHOLE frickING TEAM?"

little premature.

After a defensive lineman whiffed on a tackle the coach told him, "You aren't worth a shite. If you were a pile of shite they would at least try to avoid you."

"Liberty Hill trapping is as common as a barefoot goose."

"Uh, what coach?"

"What?! You ever see a goose wear shoes?"

Our best player was late to practice and coach asked him where he was. Said he was with his girlfriend and lost track of time. Coach says "you're girlfriend is really pretty. Do you think I'm pretty?". Player paused for a few seconds and said no then coach says "so why are you trying to frick me?"

Recall one ripping a raunchy frat and another coach looking at a player ands saying "What did you say?"

Basketball practice and nobody was blocking out worth a frick for rebounds. “Do I need to go recruit the gay kids because I at least know they will put their arse into somebody”