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re: Anyone here every give a eulogy?
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:28 pm to Black
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:28 pm to Black
It is very hard to be put on the spot to think of things to say. I gave my grandfather's eulogy several years ago.
Ask family members and friends stories they would like to share and share them with the congregation. Jokes are great in eulogies. Makes people remember all the good stuff about the deceased. sorry for your loss.
Ask family members and friends stories they would like to share and share them with the congregation. Jokes are great in eulogies. Makes people remember all the good stuff about the deceased. sorry for your loss.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:29 pm to Black
Yeah it will be exactly three weeks tommorrow. Colon cancer that eventually spread to his liver and hip bones. Once he found our hospice was needed his health went worse. I was just glad I was able to take care of him along with my mom during those last several days.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:30 pm to Black
I've written a few, but gave them to someone else to read because I knew I would be too emotional.
Besides his accomplishments and hobbies which may have been listed in the obituary, maybe think of special skills he may have had, or a memory of something he did which represented the kind of person he was. Share a personal memory of something you did together, even if it's something small. Maybe a unique quality or stupid quirk that most people wouldn't know about, like putting a sock and a shoe on and then the other sock and shoe.
IMO, the best memorial services are lighthearted, with happy memories of the deceased. I agree with the above poster who said make people smile whenever they remember him.
Sorry about your dad. I lost mine 14 years ago. All I can tell you is that it foes get easier with time.
Besides his accomplishments and hobbies which may have been listed in the obituary, maybe think of special skills he may have had, or a memory of something he did which represented the kind of person he was. Share a personal memory of something you did together, even if it's something small. Maybe a unique quality or stupid quirk that most people wouldn't know about, like putting a sock and a shoe on and then the other sock and shoe.
IMO, the best memorial services are lighthearted, with happy memories of the deceased. I agree with the above poster who said make people smile whenever they remember him.
Sorry about your dad. I lost mine 14 years ago. All I can tell you is that it foes get easier with time.
This post was edited on 2/2/15 at 1:31 pm
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:30 pm to Black
I wrote one for my dads funeral but couldn't bring myself to so it. My 1st cousin did it for me. It was hard enough being at the funeral for me. He died suddenly so I wasn't prepared. Sorry for the loss if your dad. It sucks
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:31 pm to Black
Yep.
The first was my wife's Paw Paw. The wife and her sisters wrote it but when the time came, they just couldn't get up there so they asked me to do it.
The second was for my Paw Paw. A man I looked up to immensely. He was a great man and one of my heroes (my dad is my other). It was really hard to give the speech without breaking down but I made it through.
The third was my grandmother. It was easier for me because I had faith that she was with my Paw Paw now and they had been apart for 8 years after he died. Still, I was fine giving the eulogy until the end when, as I was walking off the dias, I caught my dad's eyes and they were filled with tears. I damn near crashed as my knees got weak.
Focus on reminding your audience who the person was and what made them special. What funny or touching stories can you tell about them. It is a great honor to be asked to give a eulogy. Do your best and put your heart in to it.
The first was my wife's Paw Paw. The wife and her sisters wrote it but when the time came, they just couldn't get up there so they asked me to do it.
The second was for my Paw Paw. A man I looked up to immensely. He was a great man and one of my heroes (my dad is my other). It was really hard to give the speech without breaking down but I made it through.
The third was my grandmother. It was easier for me because I had faith that she was with my Paw Paw now and they had been apart for 8 years after he died. Still, I was fine giving the eulogy until the end when, as I was walking off the dias, I caught my dad's eyes and they were filled with tears. I damn near crashed as my knees got weak.
Focus on reminding your audience who the person was and what made them special. What funny or touching stories can you tell about them. It is a great honor to be asked to give a eulogy. Do your best and put your heart in to it.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:32 pm to Motorboat
Recently went to a funeral of an Aggie fan (friends dad extremely close to my heart). His best friend was talking about how one day they were discussing funerals. Bill said something like he wanted everyone to smile and start chanting his name. Middle of the eulogy and the whole congregation stands up and starts chanting "BILL BILL BILL.." It was pretty strange at the time but it eased everyone which is all that matters.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:33 pm to Black
Had a cousin do one at my Grandfather's funeral this past Saturday. He's a pastor at another church so im guessing he's had some exposure to it, but he did an amazing job. Mainly shared some stories from the past about him, talked about his faith and connection with God and how he was an inspirational man that loved his pastor and his family and kept the faith through all of life's challenges. Also had words of comfort from the family. It turned out to be a very nice service. Good luck with yours.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:34 pm to Black
He's your Dad. You just tell how good of a man he was. I'm sure you have some stories to share exemplifying how good of a man he was for you as his son. Everyone appreciates those.
I'm glad I didn't have to speak at my Dads'...I would have lost it for sure. He left way too soon.
I'm glad I didn't have to speak at my Dads'...I would have lost it for sure. He left way too soon.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:35 pm to FLBooGoTigs1
quote:
If I am asked to give it must mean I was close to this person. I don't think I would do very good. I have problems just going to funerals.
I hate funerals. I would never decline though if asked to speak, but I doubt I would do a very good job and I'm an excellent at public speaking. Funerals are rough for me.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:35 pm to Black
If you're worried about getting up there and breaking down, but you feel like you have to be the one to deliver the eulogy yourself, maybe get someone like your wife to go up to the front and stand with you. Just having someone by your side squeezing your hand can sometimes be reassuring enough to help you get through it.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:37 pm to Black
Did it for both grandparents. Its hard. Really hard. There was a few times when I didn't think I would make it. Took and deep breath, got it together and continued. I tried to lighten the mood a bit by telling funny stories about them. That seemed to work.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:38 pm to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
Funerals are rough for me
Me too, but it helps the mourning process imo
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:41 pm to Black
Gave one for an old man who was a mentor of mine when I was 19. Choked up at the end and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but I'm glad I did. Told a few stories, cracked a few jokes, and left by saying be happy to have shared the times you did not sad that they are over.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:43 pm to Black
I did for my grandmom. It was tough since she had Alzheimers for most of my life, so I had to go off what my mom and aunts said. Also, from what I remembered when I was really young.
Go with personal experiences more than anything, basically what he meant to you
Go with personal experiences more than anything, basically what he meant to you
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:45 pm to Black
First, my condolences for your loss.
I've had to do a few eulogies, both spoken and written.
I will give you a tip that works for a lot of people who struggle with eulogies.
Hand an index card to each of your family members and a few friends. Ask them to write on the index card their favorite memory or experience with your dad. They can remain anonymous if they want.
Order the index cards, give a brief introduction and read the cards.
At the end, share your favorite memory.
That always makes for a really good eulogy because everyone feels like they have a part of it, and you never know what's going to come up. Heartfelt stuff, humor, you name it. And it takes the pressure off of you to be brilliant when you feel at your worst. It also allows you to just read, and you have less of a chance of falling to emotion if you are just reading.
Eulogies are tough, tough. If you're not an experienced speaker, take my advice. It will take a lot of the worry away for you.
I've had to do a few eulogies, both spoken and written.
I will give you a tip that works for a lot of people who struggle with eulogies.
Hand an index card to each of your family members and a few friends. Ask them to write on the index card their favorite memory or experience with your dad. They can remain anonymous if they want.
Order the index cards, give a brief introduction and read the cards.
At the end, share your favorite memory.
That always makes for a really good eulogy because everyone feels like they have a part of it, and you never know what's going to come up. Heartfelt stuff, humor, you name it. And it takes the pressure off of you to be brilliant when you feel at your worst. It also allows you to just read, and you have less of a chance of falling to emotion if you are just reading.
Eulogies are tough, tough. If you're not an experienced speaker, take my advice. It will take a lot of the worry away for you.
This post was edited on 2/2/15 at 1:46 pm
Posted on 2/2/15 at 1:47 pm to lsucoonass
Ours had colon cancer as well, stage 4 when we found out. This was back in August and the doctors said he had a month at best. So when he was able to br released from the hospital, he was unable to live on his own and nursing home was out of the picture because we know how they could be, so we decided to take him and have him live with us.
It got tough at times not being able to do things without having someone stay with him, and taking care of his needs plus the family's needs, but honestly it's one I dont regret at all. Overall was a good experience, you know like you said, just glad I was able to take care of him during his final days. Miss him of course, but the fact that he's once again with his wife, family and old friends, gives me comfort.
It got tough at times not being able to do things without having someone stay with him, and taking care of his needs plus the family's needs, but honestly it's one I dont regret at all. Overall was a good experience, you know like you said, just glad I was able to take care of him during his final days. Miss him of course, but the fact that he's once again with his wife, family and old friends, gives me comfort.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 2:01 pm to Black
My best friend died 5 years ago (was only 28 when he died). They decided to split up the eulogy between 4 people who were close to him and I was asked to speak (other 3 were his father, his brother, and his wife).
I decided that my friend would have wanted everyone to laugh and enjoy the good times they've had with him so I outlined 5 stories that I thought embodied his personality that would spark others to tell their stories at the reception afterward - worked perfectly. Everyone laughed and remembered him for the great person he was.
My advice, just write an outline, not a speech (assuming you are a good enough speaker to just fill in the gaps). It will be more personal if you just speak from an outline rather than a prepared speech. Tell some stories that mean something to you and would be relatable for others that knew him.
And I'm sorry for your loss.
I decided that my friend would have wanted everyone to laugh and enjoy the good times they've had with him so I outlined 5 stories that I thought embodied his personality that would spark others to tell their stories at the reception afterward - worked perfectly. Everyone laughed and remembered him for the great person he was.
My advice, just write an outline, not a speech (assuming you are a good enough speaker to just fill in the gaps). It will be more personal if you just speak from an outline rather than a prepared speech. Tell some stories that mean something to you and would be relatable for others that knew him.
And I'm sorry for your loss.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 2:04 pm to Camo Tiger 337
You are a good man. Props to you for taking care of your family.
Posted on 2/2/15 at 2:06 pm to Black
Lots of good advice in this thread, but I'd also practice giving the eulogy in the privacy of your home once you determine what general outline/stories you want to share. Sharing all of those stories for the first time will trigger a ton of emotions, you'll be more composed after a few repetitions. Very sorry for your loss man.
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