weekly m/tv board WOULD YOU RATHER...

I would like to kill a hungry panda with my samurai sword, have boring sex with my really hot wife, followed by a screening of the Godfather.

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Hopefully we can immitate the epic win we had in the 1st version of m/tvb WYR.

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Yeah I had no idea what was going on in that last thread, time for me to join in...

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Be a Pirate or a Samurai?

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Clearly a pirate. Real samurai had way too many rules....

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Face-off a hungry alligator or panda?

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Gator. No Question. Pandas are mean. Get behind a gator and you'll be fine. Pandas could f-you up. Gators are only dangerous when you don't see them.

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Have a hot wife with extremely boring sex or an ugly wife with unbelievable sex?

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Hot wife.

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Only be able to watch The Godfather pt. 1 or every Tyler Perry movie ever releasd?

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Can I mute GF Pt. 1?


So this means I'll sail the world with my hot wife, having boring sex, fighting gators 'round the world, while looping Godfather Pt. 1 on my sailing vessel's Blu-Ray Player.

Sounds like a win to me.

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Be a Pirate or a Samurai?

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Pirate...Samurai are to uptight

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Face-off a hungry alligator or panda?

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Alligator..cause after i kill it i can eat it and thats just fricking delicious

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Have a hot wife with extremely boring sex or an ugly wife with unbelievable sex?

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its still sex...after 40 seconds its over and id rather her be hot

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Only be able to watch The Godfather pt. 1 or every Tyler Perry movie ever releasd?

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dont ever put The Godfather in the same sentence as Tyler Perry again...ever...You've been warned.

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Be a Pirate or a Samurai?

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Pirate, obviously. Really, do I want to be a part of a rigid feudal society or do I want to sail around stealing shite, drinking, and saying f u to the man? I think the choice is clear

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Face-off a hungry alligator or panda?

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Both. I want a pimp panda coat and gator boots.

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Have a hot wife with extremely boring sex or an ugly wife with unbelievable sex?

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Clearly, if I am a pirate, I want an ugly wife because I don't give a shite what anyone else thinks...which is the only advantage to a hot wife that sucks at sex.

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Only be able to watch The Godfather pt. 1 or every Tyler Perry movie ever releasd?

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I don't love the Godfather that much and I have seen it. I also have not seen a single Tyler Perry movie so I think I have to go with Tyler Perry. Not that it matters much as I am a pirate doing awesome pirate things and having unbelievably great sex.

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weekly m/tv board WOULD YOU RATHER...

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OK......





.....*Deep breath*.....

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Be a Pirate or a Samurai?

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I'm going Samurai. I hate scurvy and I'd like that I can kick as much arse as possible. Besides, this could be one of those Monkey's Paw type trick questions where you think you're gonna be a cool pirate/pornstar like Long John Silver hijacking booty and feasting on mutton and ale with a cool parrot, but really you end up being one of those lame Somali pirates trying to take over cruiseships just before Navy SEALs blow your brains out from a mile away while you choke down some crappy mango gazpacho.

I'll be a badass samurai like Ryu from Streetfighter brandishing a cool sword and chuckin Hadokens at bitches.

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Face-off a hungry alligator or panda?

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Definitely a panda. You know how impossible it is to try to kill an alligator w/ a samurai sword? It's not happening. As long as I'm not a lame samurai w/ a bamboo staff, the panda won't stand a chance. And then, I could rid the world of another worthless panda. Seriously, pandas suck arse. Those frickers would go extinct if we didn't have to literally force them to mate.

Added bonus: It might be that goddamn Sexual Harassment Panda. That thing needs to die!

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Have a hot wife with extremely boring sex or an ugly wife with unbelievable sex?

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Whether I'm a pirate or a samurai I'm gonna be kind-of isolated. One of the main advantages of the hot wife is getting to show her off. That doesn't really happen w/ either lifestyle. One of the main drawbacks of the ugly wife is that others see you with her. So the main advantage to the hot wife is gone along w/ the main disadvantage of the ugly one. After a hard day's work as a panda-slaying samurai I want to have some mindblowingly great sex. I DGAF if she's a 4 as long as she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

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Only be able to watch The Godfather pt. 1 or every Tyler Perry movie ever releasd

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Definitely Godfather pt. 1. I'll use it as inspiration to turn my ugly wife into a movie star: Director doesn't put her in a movie, he finds the head of his prize panda in his bed the next morning. Then, once she's a movie starlet, some people will delude themselves into thinking my ugly wife is actually attractive. Hell, she might even make a Maxim list.

Oh, and besides that, Tyler Perry sucks arse and Godfather pt. 1 might be the greatest movie of all time so there's that too.

Pirate, no question. With my pirate skills, I feel like I could fight off the gator, so long as it was not the gator in Primeval.

I'll go againast the grain and take the ugly wife with great sex. I'm not trying to impress you, and I'd rather have the great sex. In fact, when in doubt, always choose great sex. You can always pretend she's pretty, but you can't pretend bad sex away. There are plenty of hot chicks I'm not having sex with I can look at.

And I wasn't aware there were other movies aside from the Godfather, Part 1 and 2. It will suck losing half of the film canon, but I would live.

Would you rather:
Be a Pirate or a Samurai?

Samurai, I am afraid of water.

Face-off a hungry alligator or panda?

Panda, because if I am going to get torn to pieces, I would prefer it to be done by something adorable.

Have a hot wife with extremely boring sex or an ugly wife with unbelievable sex?

Hot wife, I will cheat.



Only be able to watch The Godfather pt. 1 or every Tyler Perry movie ever releasd?

Godfather. That was a stupid question.

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Be a Pirate or a Samurai?

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Samurai: I prefer the structure and integrity that comes along with this allegiance of warriors over the drunken hijinks of pirates who employ and associate with fellows prone to backstabbing and double-crosses. In addition to having a gang of badass motherfrickers who have my back, I could also take political advantage by amassing manpower, resources and political backing (in the form of alliances with other Samurai), to establish a Samurai-dominated government.

Better chance of success to rule as part of a group rather than going at it alone up against a hoard of other lone-rangers of the high seas. Besides, just because pirates are associated with freedom from authority/complete autonomy (i.e. - they can frick, drink and steal their way through life with no consequences), not only is that not necessarily the case, but it doesn't make Samurai the antithesis of that.

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Face-off a hungry alligator or panda?

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As a Samurai? Put me up against the panda. Not only will I be better prepared for battle due to my armor, but pandas are slower and often less aggressive than alligators (given the circumstances of course). I would have more faith in slicing up a bear with my razor-edged sword than hitting a gator in its one kill spot with a single-shot muzzleloader pistol like a pirate would carry.

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Have a hot wife with extremely boring sex or an ugly wife with unbelievable sex?

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Give me the hot wife with extremely boring sex. The ratio of sexual intercourse to just having to sit next to, talk to or be in the company of one's wife is very lopsided. I can put up with boring sex with a hot woman if I know that 95 percent of the other time spent with my wife is in the company of her fine arse self and (obviously) her hot country-club milf friends.

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Only be able to watch The Godfather pt. 1 or every Tyler Perry movie ever releasd?

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too easy:

Would you rather:
Be a Pirate or a Samurai?

A pirate if I get to be the captain. If I have to swab the decks and crap like that, I'll be a badass samurai.

Face-off a hungry alligator or panda?
I've never eaten panda, but I love me some gator.

Have a hot wife with extremely boring sex or an ugly wife with unbelievable sex?

This is tough. I am all about the visual, so I love a hot woman. Boring sex is still sex, and if she's hot enough, I can just look at her and provide the sex myself. Nobody knows me like me.

Then again, if I have an ugly wife who is great at sex, a simple flip of the light switch and she looks however I want her to look.

Unfortunately, she is my wife so eventually I'd have to be around the repulsive bitch with the lights on.

In the long run, I think I am too visually stimulated so I'd go with the hotty. She had better be really really hot. Besides, if I'm the captain of a pirate ship, I'd likely have a "great at sex" hag at every port to make up for the boring wife.

Only be able to watch The Godfather pt. 1 or every Tyler Perry movie ever releasd?

Either way, it's the same movie over and over, so I may as well pick the Godfather (although there are at least 200 movies I would choose before The Godfather).

To sum it up, I'm a rum guzzlin', gator eatin', hot woman lovin' pirate captain (the rest of you pirates can swab my decks) with at least one ugly "great at sex" hag at every port.

Arrrr!!