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Judge VanDyke: "This is a case about swinging dicks." Ninth Circus

Posted on 3/13/26 at 8:38 am
Posted by loogaroo
Welsh
Member since Dec 2005
41056 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 8:38 am
quote:

The Ninth Circuit denied rehearing en banc Olympus Spa v. Armstrong. Judge VanDyke wrote the lead dissent, which begins this way:

This is a case about swinging dicks. The Christian owners of Olympus Spa— a traditional Korean, women-only, nude spa—understandably don't want them in their spa. Their female employees and female clients don't want them in their spa either. But Washington State insists on them. And now so does the Ninth Circuit. You may think that swinging dicks shouldn't appear in a judicial opinion. You're not wrong. But as much as you might understandably be shocked and displeased to merely encounter that phrase in this opinion, I hope we all can agree that it is far more jarring for the unsuspecting and exposed women at Olympus Spa— some as young as thirteen—to be visually assaulted by the real thing. Sometimes, it feels like the supposed adults in the room have collectively lost their minds. Woke regulators and complicit judges seem entirely willing, even eager, to ignore the consequences that their Frankenstein social experiments impose on real women and young girls.


quote:

As you could imagine, this line infuriated Judge VanDyke's colleagues.

Judge McKeown issued a statement that was joined by twenty-eight members of her Court (the Ninth Circuit has fifty-one total active and senior status judges):

McKEOWN, Senior Circuit Judge, joined by MURGUIA, Chief Judge, HAWKINS, S.R. THOMAS, GRABER, FLETCHER, PAEZ, BERZON, CLIFTON, BYBEE, and HURWITZ, Senior Circuit Judges, WARDLAW, GOULD, RAWLINSON, M. SMITH, CHRISTEN, NGUYEN, FRIEDLAND, MILLER, KOH, SUNG, SANCHEZ, H.A. THOMAS, MENDOZA, DESAI, JOHNSTONE, and DE ALBA, Circuit Judges, respecting the denial of rehearing en banc: The American legal system has long been regarded as a place to resolve disputes in a dignified and civil manner or, as Justice O'Connor put it, to "disagree without being disagreeable."1 It is not a place for vulgar barroom talk. Nor is it a place to suggest that fellow judges have "collectively lost their minds," or that they are "woke judges[]" "complicit" in a scheme to harm ordinary Americans. That language makes us sound like juveniles, not judges, and it undermines public trust in the courts. The lead dissent's use of such coarse language and invective may make for publicity or entertainment value, but it has no place in a judicial opinion. The lead dissent ignores ordinary principles of dignity and civility and demeans this court. Neither the parties nor the panel dissent found it necessary to invoke such crude and vitriolic language. Decorum and collegiality demand more.


https://reason.com/volokh/2026/03/12/judge-vandyke-this-is-a-case-about-swinging-dicks/
Posted by Trevaylin
south texas
Member since Feb 2019
10503 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 8:41 am to
I like VanDyke
Posted by Flats
Member since Jul 2019
27583 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 8:42 am to
quote:

That language makes us sound like juveniles, not judges, and it undermines public trust in the courts.


Posted by ScottFowler
NE Ohio
Member since Sep 2012
4656 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 8:45 am to
Sometimes, it is necessary to do what you have to do to get the point across.
In this case, mission accomplished.
Posted by BigBinBR
Baton Rouge
Member since Mar 2023
10025 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 8:47 am to
quote:

That language makes us sound like juveniles, not judges


Posted by TD422
Destrehan, LA
Member since Jun 2019
845 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 8:48 am to
The statement issued by McKlown is a perfect summary of what's wrong with the judicial system today. So it's OK for the patrons of the spa to be offended, but the judges draw the line at being offended themselves. Talk about cognitive disconnect...

HEAR THIS CLEARLY, MCKLOWN: "GOOD! I'M GLAD YOU'RE OFFENDED...WELCOME TO THE CLUB, JACKASS!"
Posted by Ailsa
Member since May 2020
6249 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 8:49 am to
quote:


Sometimes, it is necessary to do what you have to do to get the point across.
In this case, mission accomplished.


He told the truth...dems hate that.
Posted by Azkiger
Member since Nov 2016
27499 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:17 am to
Amazing how their response proves his point.
Posted by Godfather1
What WAS St George, Louisiana
Member since Oct 2006
88451 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:19 am to
quote:

it undermines public trust in the courts.


Can’t undermine something that isn’t there.
Posted by SouthEasternKaiju
SouthEast... you figure it out
Member since Aug 2021
45550 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:21 am to
The Left: "Some women have penises!"


Everyone else:
Posted by DingLeeBerry
Member since Oct 2014
11762 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:23 am to
Not to derail and I appreciate his response and the intent, but does anybody else find it troubling that 13 year olds are in this facility, even absent the issue regarding tallywhackers?


quote:

is far more jarring for the unsuspecting and exposed women at Olympus Spa— some as young as thirteen—to be visually assaulted by the real thing.
Posted by SallysHuman
Lady Palmetto Bug
Member since Jan 2025
18769 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:28 am to
quote:

Not to derail and I appreciate his response and the intent, but does anybody else find it troubling that 13 year olds are in this facility, even absent the issue regarding tallywhackers?


No.

I don't know anything about Koreans specifically, but other cultures, say, Japanese, do onsen with nudity... not every culture sexifies basic same gender nudity situations.

Even at the Y, there are all ages of people in all stages of dress/undress in locker rooms- well, before tallywhackers entered the fray.


Posted by Flats
Member since Jul 2019
27583 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:35 am to
quote:

but does anybody else find it troubling that 13 year olds are in this facility,


13 year old females in an all-female facility? Why would anybody find troubling?
Posted by loogaroo
Welsh
Member since Dec 2005
41056 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:37 am to
quote:

The statement issued by McKlown


Posted by BurlesonCountyAg
Member since Jan 2014
4710 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:41 am to
quote:

This is a case about swinging dicks


Does this case involve Michelle Obama?
Posted by TigerAxeOK
Where I lay my head is home.
Member since Dec 2016
37126 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:41 am to
quote:

Sometimes, it feels like the supposed adults in the room have collectively lost their minds

Sometimes?

They lost their minds completely in 2016 and it's only gotten worse since then. TDS is directly connected, though the chicken/egg debate is viable.
Posted by Mid Iowa Tiger
Undisclosed Secure Location
Member since Feb 2008
24422 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:42 am to
Van Dyke is 100% on point and his “peers” shocked reaction prove his point.

Imagine walking into one of these judges with your swinging dick hanging out.
Posted by tigersbb
Member since Oct 2012
12682 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:45 am to
quote:


I like VanDyke


He will now be known as Dick Van Dyke.
Posted by SallysHuman
Lady Palmetto Bug
Member since Jan 2025
18769 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:47 am to
quote:

He will now be known as Dick Van Dyke.


*swingin Dick Van Dyke
Posted by RockyMtnTigerWDE
War Damn Eagle Dad!
Member since Oct 2010
108593 posts
Posted on 3/13/26 at 9:50 am to
quote:

undermines public trust in the courts


They have done that with their wake and social experiment judgements. Not some comments that didn’t sit well with the judges it was referring to.
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