Anyone struggle falling asleep?

I’m in my early/mid-40s and I’ve had problems with this recently. I can’t pinpoint when it started but within the last 6 months. Only thing I’ve changed in the last 6 months is in 2025 I cut back on drinking a good bit and started lifting weights again after a 8 yr hiatus to get myself some strength and muscle back for longevity.

Even if I’m exhausted from not sleeping the night before, I struggle to fall asleep…sometimes tossing and turning for hours until 3 or 4 am despite getting in bed at 9-9:30 after having woken up at 5:30am for work. It’s like my mind races and sometimes I feel like I get tiny shots adrenaline while I’m trying to sleep that just jolt me back up.

I drink on average probably 3-4 times per month. I exercise (weights and jogging) 6 days a week and am in really good physical shape for my age. I eat really healthy. I have relatively low stress - good job, married with great kids, no money problems, no major health problems, etc. I usually eat dinner like 4 hrs before I try to go to bed (my wife-no pics-likes to eat early with the kids).

I used to use Melatonin and that still works if I use it but I have been trying my best to avoid it for fear of developing a dependency. Instead I take some Magnesium glycinate 20min before I want to fall asleep and that sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. Anyway I understand it to be good for me even if it doesn’t help me sleep so low risk.

Anyone have any idea what may be wrong or what I can do? I’m wondering if this is some sort of mid-life crisis as it feels like anxiety despite there being no objective reason for it. Sometimes when I’m drifting off I get flooded with really dark thoughts about things happening to my kids, my family, the world, etc.

I need help before I birth a Tyler Durden or develop health problems for lack of sleep. Any suggestions?