Would you reach out to your son’s friend’s parents after something like this?

One of my son’s closest friends in the neighborhood is having a birthday party tomorrow. Paint ball with a group of boys. The three other boys in the neighborhood are invited. My son is not.

This came out when all of them were at our house today. It was obviously supposed to be kept a secret. The other boys didn’t know my son was’t invited. The birthday kid made up some excuse that my son got left out because he had a hurt finger (it’s absolutely no big deal and he has buddy tape on his pinky finger). He was flailing about trying to come up with an excuse.

I’m just really confused. My son is devastated. Practically inconsolable right now. I don’t want to beg for a pity invite but I think it’s absolutely shitty to invite literally every boy in the neighborhood and exclude one of them. They’ve all spent the night at each other’s houses. The kid has Celiac disease and we keep our pantry and fridge stocked with gluten free options. They’ve come to every one of my son’s birthdays for four years.

We were just telling family members how blessed we are to have these guys in the neighborhood. My son has experienced some social issues off and on at school, and the neighborhood has always been a safe place.

I feel like reaching out to the dad is appropriate. Even if just to text and say that I’m confused why they would treat the situation like they have.

If their kid doesn’t like mine, he sure fakes it well enough coming over uninvited to our house all the time.

My wife says not to contact them. She thinks their mom might be a narcissist and get off this kind of stuff.

What say the OT?