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Has anyone here dealt with the onset of mental illness with their spouse?
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:25 pm
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:25 pm
I’m not talking about the “all women are crazy” kind of crazy. I’m talking legitimate, diagnosable stuff. Were there signs you missed or was it later onset? Was it hereditary or brought on by anything? How did you handle it? Are you still together?
44
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:26 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Bitches be cray cray
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:27 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
I realized after leaving my wife of 17 years she is not only a covert (vulnerable) narcissist but she also has Borderline Personality disorder.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:28 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Get your gal some help regardless of what people say on here. You wouldn't be asking this if she didn't need it 
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:28 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:
I’m not talking about the “all women are crazy” kind of crazy. I’m talking legitimate, diagnosable stuff.
You think there’s a difference?
Your lack of details makes me wonder if you’re a woman. Anxiety? Schizophrenia? You’re way too vague and cryptic for real men to understand.
What are you talking about?
This post was edited on 1/3/24 at 1:30 pm
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:28 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Not spouse but girlfriend. Honestly took a lot of therapy to deal with once I left her and cut all contact. Ruined dating for me for like 2 years. It's still hard for me to blame the illness and not the individual.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:29 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Prayers. That’s a tough draw.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:33 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:
I’m talking legitimate, diagnosable stuff.
Damn, sorry to hear.
Lucky so far for my part....
Good luck and COVER YOUR arse by documenting EVERYTHING.
Just because she shows signs of being crazy, it doesn't mean that she hasn't simply morphed into some sort of manipulative, bad human being.
I know that's not what you want to hear, but for your sake, you need to keep that thought in the back of your mind.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:37 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Yes. My ex is one of the worst sociopaths imaginable. She was very adept at hiding it early on. 10 years into the marriage, her alcohol and prescription drug abuse degraded her abilities to mask her true self. When she started to lose some of the attention she craved she started pulling crazy stunts like telling people she had cancer (she didn’t), faking choking on food and she poisoned two of our pets. Complete nut case who has only gotten worse since we divorced. I honestly feel lucky that I made it out of the marriage alive.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:37 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
What kind of mental health issue are we talking about?
There’s a decent amount of disorders that have onset in 20s and 30s, so if you’ve been together since you were younger it’s entirely possible it didn’t emerge until later. For a fair amount of personality disorders, they aren’t typically diagnosed until adulthood as well just due to other potential things that can contribute to emotion dysregulation like hormones in puberty or environmental factors (parents with poor emotion regulation).
There’s a decent amount of disorders that have onset in 20s and 30s, so if you’ve been together since you were younger it’s entirely possible it didn’t emerge until later. For a fair amount of personality disorders, they aren’t typically diagnosed until adulthood as well just due to other potential things that can contribute to emotion dysregulation like hormones in puberty or environmental factors (parents with poor emotion regulation).
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:39 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
What kind of mental illness are we talking about here? There's everything from depression to dementia to schizophrenia to addiction.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:46 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
I'm the crazy one. It's in check 99% of the time.
My ex was a complete wacko.
Always was, always will be.
My ex was a complete wacko.
Always was, always will be.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:49 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
quote:Yes.
Has anyone here dealt with the onset of mental illness with their spouse?
quote:I missed signs, ignored maternal-side medical issues (Schizoaffective disorder) in both mom and grandma, and missed distant familial thyroid disorders. I was young and stupid and thought I just needed to get her away from her crazy mom.
Were there signs you missed or was it later onset?
quote:Obviously hereditary.
Was it hereditary
quote:I didn't get a chance to actually handle it. She went nuclear. Almost destroyed my life completely in one fell swoop. I supported her financially for a decade while we were separated. I had hoped something would magically click and she would be healthy again. Young and dumb.
How did you handle it?
quote:Nope.
Are you still together?
Posted on 1/3/24 at 1:50 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Yes.
Give space and forget about your shite until they can recover with meds and therapy.
The more you force your issues, the worse it will be for you.
Give space and forget about your shite until they can recover with meds and therapy.
The more you force your issues, the worse it will be for you.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 2:07 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
My ex had severe post birth depression and her family has a history of bi-polar and other shite.
She was cra cra I just didn’t realize how cra cra until post divorce.
She was cra cra I just didn’t realize how cra cra until post divorce.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 2:09 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Every married baw can tell you that the wife is cra cra.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 2:11 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Yes
Very debilitating mental illness. She was abused as a child, and she had her first episode of audible delusions and extreme paranoia during a snow episode when we lived out of state. To the best of my knowledge, it didn’t run in the family, but she internalized a lot of stuff, so who really knows the truth of all that? I returned home one evening to half of our stuff gone and she not there. Sometime later we talked and she said she was off to find herself or whatever. It eventually ended in divorce, and that was for the best as we had no kids in the equation. I cannot imagine going through all of that then or today with kids involved.
Very debilitating mental illness. She was abused as a child, and she had her first episode of audible delusions and extreme paranoia during a snow episode when we lived out of state. To the best of my knowledge, it didn’t run in the family, but she internalized a lot of stuff, so who really knows the truth of all that? I returned home one evening to half of our stuff gone and she not there. Sometime later we talked and she said she was off to find herself or whatever. It eventually ended in divorce, and that was for the best as we had no kids in the equation. I cannot imagine going through all of that then or today with kids involved.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 2:20 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Honestly, if it's bad then let them get arrested. Don't intervene and limit their exposure to finances.
If they are really mentally ill, they won't stop and if they aren't they will not be as destructive as you think they are.
Don't try to save them, but that's good advice for anything.
If they are really mentally ill, they won't stop and if they aren't they will not be as destructive as you think they are.
Don't try to save them, but that's good advice for anything.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 2:39 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
She has chronic treatment resistant depression. She had it when I met her but some big life stressors have made it worse. There used to be periods of remission that lasted months or years but it's been about two years now with no letup.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 2:48 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Not a spouse, but with a serious girlfriend.
She was "normal" when we started dating. I was just out of high school and she was a year younger than me. We started dating my junior and her sophomore year, and actually became serious after we both graduated. It became evident early on that her mother was likely manic/depressive and probably had some other personality issues....undiagnosed.
Well, all was well for around four years, but for the crazy mom. I got to know her mom over the years and knew how she was. I started seeing the same thing in her daughter....gradual at first, then more and more.
I only broke it off after her stepdad (had been married to her mom for a decade or so, and wasn't far from leaving her for good) came to my house. We talked for over an hour and he just told me what it was like. It took a couple more months, but I finally broke it off.
It was just surreal watching her turn into her mom. Sad, too, because she hated that woman.
It was around a six-and-a-half year slow motion trainwreck.
She was "normal" when we started dating. I was just out of high school and she was a year younger than me. We started dating my junior and her sophomore year, and actually became serious after we both graduated. It became evident early on that her mother was likely manic/depressive and probably had some other personality issues....undiagnosed.
Well, all was well for around four years, but for the crazy mom. I got to know her mom over the years and knew how she was. I started seeing the same thing in her daughter....gradual at first, then more and more.
I only broke it off after her stepdad (had been married to her mom for a decade or so, and wasn't far from leaving her for good) came to my house. We talked for over an hour and he just told me what it was like. It took a couple more months, but I finally broke it off.
It was just surreal watching her turn into her mom. Sad, too, because she hated that woman.
It was around a six-and-a-half year slow motion trainwreck.
This post was edited on 1/3/24 at 2:55 pm
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