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re: Have you ever experienced "arrival fallacy"?
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:50 am to shutterspeed
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:50 am to shutterspeed
Scott Adams wrote, "goals are for losers."
Systems are far superior.
Nick Saban is an example.
He doesn't harp on winning a national championship as a goal but rather a by product of his system a/k/a "the process."
Systems are far superior.
Nick Saban is an example.
He doesn't harp on winning a national championship as a goal but rather a by product of his system a/k/a "the process."
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:52 am to shutterspeed
Yes.
When I was younger, I thought making it to the big stage to perform music would be it. It would complete all the hard work I had put in and validate my identity as a real musician. But as those experiences grew, I felt less and less validated. It only opened up more issues with imposter syndrome or lack of fulfillment.
I once had my name on the bill opening up for a pretty big act at a festival. It was impressive. I got to ride around the festival in an escorted cart. Hang out backstage. There was special lighting planned for my show. Stage direction from a director. It was IT.
And it was nothing. Just a gig. It was fun and cool, don’t get me wrong. But that “I’ve arrived” never came. Just opened up additional worries and more thoughts on “what’s next?”
I’m currently working on my doctorate and feel prepared for the let down of finishing. Entering the program, I felt that same excitement for “arrival” when dreaming of the end when I would finish a PhD. But I think I can anticipate that it’s just another accomplishment that leads to new things.
I know this has become an essay of sorts, so to conclude, I actually think successful football coaches can teach people how to respond to the “gold medal syndrome.” The championship isn’t the finality of your work. It’s just part of the process. You can enjoy the moment briefly, but you have to have a disciplined process that you enjoy and understand. That’s when you’ve arrived.
When I was younger, I thought making it to the big stage to perform music would be it. It would complete all the hard work I had put in and validate my identity as a real musician. But as those experiences grew, I felt less and less validated. It only opened up more issues with imposter syndrome or lack of fulfillment.
I once had my name on the bill opening up for a pretty big act at a festival. It was impressive. I got to ride around the festival in an escorted cart. Hang out backstage. There was special lighting planned for my show. Stage direction from a director. It was IT.
And it was nothing. Just a gig. It was fun and cool, don’t get me wrong. But that “I’ve arrived” never came. Just opened up additional worries and more thoughts on “what’s next?”
I’m currently working on my doctorate and feel prepared for the let down of finishing. Entering the program, I felt that same excitement for “arrival” when dreaming of the end when I would finish a PhD. But I think I can anticipate that it’s just another accomplishment that leads to new things.
I know this has become an essay of sorts, so to conclude, I actually think successful football coaches can teach people how to respond to the “gold medal syndrome.” The championship isn’t the finality of your work. It’s just part of the process. You can enjoy the moment briefly, but you have to have a disciplined process that you enjoy and understand. That’s when you’ve arrived.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:53 am to TrueTiger
quote:
Scott Adams wrote, "goals are for losers."
Systems are far superior.
Its true. The journey is far more valuable than the prize.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:55 am to TrueTiger
quote:i'm not really one for motivational shite but I'd read a Saban book. He's also up there in the "dinner/beers with any celebrity, politician, etc." discussion for me.
Systems are far superior.
Nick Saban is an example.
He doesn't harp on winning a national championship as a goal but rather a by product of his system a/k/a "the process."
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:55 am to RogerTheShrubber
I was looking for a meme to make fun of the Q thread on this subject and found this.
This post was edited on 12/24/23 at 11:24 am
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:59 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
I know this has become an essay of sorts, so to conclude, I actually think successful football coaches can teach people how to respond to the “gold medal syndrome.” The championship isn’t the finality of your work. It’s just part of the process. You can enjoy the moment briefly, but you have to have a disciplined process that you enjoy and understand. That’s when you’ve arrived.
My HS baseball coach was excellent, his assistant was Jim Wells.
We never discussed championships, just dealt with what we needed to deal with day to day. Turned a losing program into a really good one.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:03 am to theunknownknight
quote:
This happens to me every time I take a dump
Makes sense in your case as you may have just lost the best part of yourself. But that's more a loss of identity than arrival fallacy, friend.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:04 am to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
The journey is far more valuable than the prize.
Yes.
Another example would be setting a goal of losing 20 lb. So you set out and you work at that and you meet your goal. Next thing you know you're 20 lb comes back to you in a few weeks. And then you've got the psychological problem of feeling like a failure and becoming depressed.
A system on the other hand might be that every day I'm going to work out and eat clean and healthy. You work that system everyday and before long a byproduct of it is that you lost your 20 lb but you continue the system and you find that not only have you lost the 20 lb but you kept it off and you might even lose more.
Boom, system crushes goal.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:05 am to TrueTiger
quote:
Boom, system crushes goal.
Indeed. If youre only chasing championships, the rational thing to do is quit midseason when youre out of contention and save yourself for the next round..
You have to have motivation beyond that.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:15 am to shutterspeed
I've had a "okay what's next" that's led to small bouts of depression. When I got my CPA I was pumped until it hit me "what next" and I was depressed for like 3 months. Same when I got promoted to manager, it was my goal for years. I was depressed and just went what now. Next it'll be when I get senior manager. I think it's the realization life isn't an RPG. I don't suddenly have more skills, just more responsibilities to grow into.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:21 am to SquatchDawg
quote:
Welcome to your mid life crisis. Go buy a Vette.
And then what next?!
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:22 am to TrueTiger
quote:
Boom, system crushes goal.
My "goal" is the financial independence to create a "system" of doing whatever I want, whenever I want. As of now, I want to travel and explore while my body is still healthy enough, although that could change with age. So, I guess the "goal" would be new sights and experiences every time the mood hits me. My goal is NOT to keep working to acquire wealth for my kids to piss through once I'm dead.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:57 am to shutterspeed
I don't necessarily agree with this. I heard a quote recently, “What’s life without a dream to hold?” Which I think is a direct contradiction to this.
Without a dream/goal, life can certainly seem like an aimlessly slog to nowhere. I know my dreams/goals provide me motivation and fight that I otherwise wouldn't have.
Without a dream/goal, life can certainly seem like an aimlessly slog to nowhere. I know my dreams/goals provide me motivation and fight that I otherwise wouldn't have.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 12:03 pm to pelicansfan123
quote:
I don't necessarily agree with this. I heard a quote recently, “What’s life without a dream to hold?” Which I think is a direct contradiction to this.
Without a dream/goal, life can certainly seem like an aimlessly slog to nowhere. I know my dreams/goals provide me motivation and fight that I otherwise wouldn't have.
What happens after you accomplish that goal? That's the point of the articles. Some of the brightest and most talented minds and bodies have struggled deeply with this.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 12:12 pm to pelicansfan123
quote:
Without a dream/goal, life can certainly seem like an aimlessly slog to nowhere.
Right. I think the point was to have a plan for what comes after the goal is achieved.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 12:15 pm to shutterspeed
There is a great movie that explores and explains this; it is National Velvet.
ETA: I should say it explains how to behave in order to avoid this.
ETA: I should say it explains how to behave in order to avoid this.
This post was edited on 12/24/23 at 12:16 pm
Posted on 12/24/23 at 12:46 pm to theunknownknight
quote:
This happens to me every time I take a dump
You strike me as the type that would rather something be going in vs out
Posted on 12/24/23 at 12:51 pm to shutterspeed
Absolutely. I see it with clients quite a bit too.
Key is to have other goals in other facets of your life and not just one “If I get X I’ll be fulfilled” type of goal.
Key is to have other goals in other facets of your life and not just one “If I get X I’ll be fulfilled” type of goal.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 1:24 pm to shutterspeed
This is exactly why I don't set goals for myself and have a slacker personality.
Being in the present and finding humor when things don't go your way is the true path to happiness.
Also, never expect too much and you won't ever be disappointed.
Being in the present and finding humor when things don't go your way is the true path to happiness.
Also, never expect too much and you won't ever be disappointed.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 1:30 pm to theunknownknight
quote:
This happens to me every time I take a dump
So you’re telling us taking a dump makes you feel empty inside?
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