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Message
God Confirms Heaven Will Have A Buc-ee's
Posted on 2/27/23 at 4:28 pm
Posted on 2/27/23 at 4:28 pm
quote:
NEW JERUSALEM — Reports coming down from on high confirm Heaven will feature a fully stocked Buc-ee's convenience store and gas station. Saints will be able to fill up on delicious Beaver Nuggets and brisket sandwiches before evacuating their heavenly bowels in the world-famous restrooms.
A spokesangel explained, "He who has an ear let him hear; just as a father will not give his son a stone if asked for bread, none shall be refused a visit to Buc-ee's if their spirit yearns for it. So obviously there's a Buc-ee's in Heaven, for this is wisdom."
He continued, "But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have no part in Buc-ee's. Too bad for those guys."
According to sources, Buc-ee's CEO Arch Aplin III was deeply moved that the host of Heaven had accepted their bid for a new Buc-ee's location. "When the saints die and come before the throne to meet the Father for judgment, they'll also have Buc-ee Beaver waiting to receive them into his loving arms," he said.
The angel in charge of consumer reports data in Heaven speculates that the gas pumps will be a huge hit since there are no electric cars in Heaven and the only car available will be the 1977 Trans Am with a gold firebird painted on the hood.
At publishing time, Hell confirmed they will have plenty of Circle K locations.
LINK
Posted on 2/27/23 at 4:30 pm to GumboPot
The bohemian garlic beef jerky is divine.
Posted on 2/27/23 at 4:31 pm to GumboPot
It says Jesus likes to party, and he died for our sins.
Posted on 2/27/23 at 4:31 pm to GumboPot
Never been to Buccees
How can it possibly live up this hype?
How can it possibly live up this hype?
Posted on 2/27/23 at 4:33 pm to GumboPot
Jesus walked on water and now he gets to sit on the holy grail the cleanest toilet the universe has ever seen!!! ![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconbow.gif)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconbow.gif)
Posted on 2/27/23 at 4:35 pm to GumboPot
It’s warms my heart to know Heaven will have the cleanest, most pristine gas station bathrooms.
Posted on 2/27/23 at 4:36 pm to GumboPot
What does that make Louisiana?
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/icons/spless.gif)
Posted on 2/27/23 at 4:49 pm to GumboPot
quote:
God Confirms Heaven Will Have A Buc-ee's
Can confirm.
This post was edited on 2/27/23 at 4:50 pm
Posted on 2/27/23 at 4:51 pm to GumboPot
I guess this confirms we will have to poop in heaven.
Posted on 2/27/23 at 4:58 pm to GumboPot
They just got cleared to build one aboot 6 miles N of Ocala.
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconusaflagsmiley.gif)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconbanana1.gif)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconusaflagsmiley.gif)
Posted on 2/27/23 at 7:44 pm to GumboPot
I had to look it up. Arch Aplin III is the CEO. I was seeing Ar Chaplin.
Posted on 2/27/23 at 7:47 pm to GumboPot
I missed that in Catechism class.
Posted on 2/27/23 at 8:27 pm to GumboPot
There will be no longing or sorrow in Heaven. If you want it there then it will be there. IMO it will most likely be that you will have no desire for a Buc-Ed’s fix in heaven.
Posted on 2/27/23 at 8:29 pm to GumboPot
Any chance we get one in hell for me and the rest of the heathens?
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