- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: I'm not crazy, you're crazy - Borderline Personality Disorder
Posted on 2/15/23 at 3:20 pm to wheelz007
Posted on 2/15/23 at 3:20 pm to wheelz007
Other tactics -
She comes home from work and its endless about how bad someone treats her or how terrible one of her co-workers is.
She goes to work and tells them all about how bad I am to her. How mean I am. Every single day.
This goes on for months. And there are 2 reasons why -
#1 The husband and co-worker might get into it one day, say at the company christmas party... and she can watch it all go down.
#2 They'll never share secrets. So if the wife starts flirting at work with a dude down the hall in another department, the co-workers would never call the husband and let him know...
She would start these nasty fights in the car on the way to see her family.... then when I get out the car pissed off at the world... "See, I told ya'll he was a total D!"
Took me years to figure all of this out.
She comes home from work and its endless about how bad someone treats her or how terrible one of her co-workers is.
She goes to work and tells them all about how bad I am to her. How mean I am. Every single day.
This goes on for months. And there are 2 reasons why -
#1 The husband and co-worker might get into it one day, say at the company christmas party... and she can watch it all go down.
#2 They'll never share secrets. So if the wife starts flirting at work with a dude down the hall in another department, the co-workers would never call the husband and let him know...
She would start these nasty fights in the car on the way to see her family.... then when I get out the car pissed off at the world... "See, I told ya'll he was a total D!"
Took me years to figure all of this out.
1
Posted on 2/15/23 at 3:24 pm to wheelz007
I swear, I could write a book about all of the 1st-grader BS I dealt with in my 11 years.
It's really unfathomable.
And the truth is, there is no conversation that can be had. No words and no form of communication that will ever help or make things change.
You know like normal people. You point something out to them and they understand. Not with a Borderline. She doesn't have a concience and has no way of correcting or ever getting better.
She will continue to make teenage-like mistakes in her life.... forever.
It's really unfathomable.
And the truth is, there is no conversation that can be had. No words and no form of communication that will ever help or make things change.
You know like normal people. You point something out to them and they understand. Not with a Borderline. She doesn't have a concience and has no way of correcting or ever getting better.
She will continue to make teenage-like mistakes in her life.... forever.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 3:32 pm to Shexter
quote:
i was married for 11 years before kids started popping out. My youngest was only 4 when she ran off and disappeared for almost 3 years.
Jesus man that is the worst case scenario.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 3:50 pm to Sam Quint
quote:
Obviously for real answers I need to seek competent medical assistance, but I am curious about the anecdotal experiences that some of you on this board may have
I was in a relationship with someone whom I think has BPD. I was "love bombed" at first. And over time, the things that happened... it left me in a really rough state. BPD is nothing to joke around with. Read online (Reddit, other forums) and see how bad it can get. And being love bombed ... your consciousness may not fully believe it, but something inside of you falls into it, and you "love" someone like you've never loved before without maybe not even realizing it. It's a nasty trap. I still feel effects from it, like an addiction, something I really want back. It's really bad.
I highly recommend you go to a good counselor - I'm not joking.
Edit: I want to say, to my knowledge and speaking with others, there are obviously varying degrees. Some people are generally erratic, and the other side (extreme) people's lives are ruined. Nothing funny about BPD man.
This post was edited on 2/15/23 at 3:53 pm
Posted on 2/15/23 at 3:57 pm to Sam Quint
quote:
Signs and symptoms may include: An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist at all Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety Ongoing feelings of emptiness Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights
Well this pretty much describes myself almost perfectly.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 4:04 pm to sidewalkside
quote:
oh and forgot to add she was an OT10 too. For some reason it seems to be the smoking hot ones are the crazy ones
Is she or was she once a hairdresser, stripper, redhead or named Tiffany? You may have entered the danger zone
Posted on 2/15/23 at 5:04 pm to Sam Quint
Pretty sure I’ve been dealing with the same though not in marriage. Definitely not been the best man the entire time but yeah
Kind of hard to even read this thread. Damn. Good luck buddy
Kind of hard to even read this thread. Damn. Good luck buddy
Posted on 2/15/23 at 5:14 pm to Sam Quint
I only wanted to say this…
Been where you are, and questioning sanity is a by-product of what you’re being out through. You aren’t crazy.
Finally, sadly, you will never, never change her. You have a decision to make. And you know what the answer is.
There is a real life on the other side. A REAL life.
Been where you are, and questioning sanity is a by-product of what you’re being out through. You aren’t crazy.
Finally, sadly, you will never, never change her. You have a decision to make. And you know what the answer is.
There is a real life on the other side. A REAL life.
This post was edited on 2/15/23 at 5:15 pm
Posted on 2/15/23 at 6:05 pm to Whosonfirst
Probably already mentioned, but I’m not reading all 11 pages, but
According to the hot/crazy matrix, it’s her not you.
quote:
She's an OT 10, trust me.
According to the hot/crazy matrix, it’s her not you.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 6:15 pm to Whosonfirst
quote:
There is a real life on the other side. A REAL life.
Echo
Posted on 2/15/23 at 6:45 pm to Sam Quint
quote:
I'm not crazy, you're crazy - Borderline Personality Disorder
I didn't read the tread because I have moved on from a relationship with a woman that was BPD.
I tried to "FIX" her by reading every book, piece of literature, etc I could.
I just remember "Walking on Eggshells" being helpful and "A Siren's Dance" helping me understand that ANYONE can fall into the "trap" of someone with BPD.
It did not end well after everything, BUT THE SEX WAS frickING UNBELIEVABLE.
Unfortunately, that is what all of the other guys she was fricking said too.
Good luck, brother.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 6:50 pm to sidewalkside
quote:
Like a previous poster said ask your close friends. they should hopefully give you honest feedback.
True BPD partner will not let you have close friends. They (she) wants 100% of your attention.
I was alienated with my lifetime friends. Thankfully, they were true friends and came in at the end to rescue me and take me back into the fold.
I bet the OP doesn't have many people close to him he can turn to. That is why he is asking TD.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 7:13 pm to Sam Quint
Go to borderlinepersonalitlydisorder.com
Everyone has the same exact story!
Everyone has the same exact story!
Posted on 2/15/23 at 7:28 pm to Sam Quint
quote:
shut down
Read about "flooding" when people shut down. You try and reason with them and they just won't/can't.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 7:34 pm to Sam Quint
Hot crazy scale seems to be off the charts folks
Posted on 2/15/23 at 7:42 pm to Funky Tide 8
quote:
The worst is when they tell their family and friends all kinds of bullshite about you and your relationship, and since their precious little angel can do no wrong, they believe everything she says, and now her family and friends think that you are the one that is a crazy a-hole.
Men who leave women like this, often lose even male friends. The ex-wife pretends to be the "damsel in distress" (especially towards male husbands she perceived as attracted to her). This woman will also manipulate the male's direct family. It is disgusting.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 7:52 pm to Gaggle
quote:
When she gets mad but acts like you're the one that's mad and you end up arguing over who is mad. At that point just smile, relax be nice and sweet and say "fine. I'm not mad and you're not mad. I love you and everything is great." And then she will have to be the one to continue it. She'll have to confront that it's her causing the problem.
That relaxed smile is exactly the person we are talking about. The frustration is not usually the sign of a BPD at the end of an argument. They relax when their prey exhibits the signs they are cultivating.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 8:05 pm to Sam Quint
OP, is your wife into astrology, numerology, energy healing and shite like that? Just curious.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 8:10 pm to Sam Quint
I was married to it for 2.5 years. They are expert deflectors and it’s always all your fault. Two marriage counselors telling her it wasn’t my fault didn’t make a dent.
Good luck and prayers.
Good luck and prayers.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 8:21 pm to Sam Quint
quote:
I read that a lot from the stories online, but I'm having a hard time applying that. I think my wife is a genuinely good person. But it seems like she has created in her mind a version of me and her memory of our marriage that just doesnt match what I remember or how I feel. But I dont think she does it because she just started hating me one day, because why would she? I think she genuinely remembers completely differently than I do.
Four possible scenarios potentially at play here, IMHO:
1). She does have some kind of personality disorder as stated by previous posters.
2). She is cheating on you, and this mis-remembrance/mis-characterization of you and/or the history of your relationship is a way for her to in some way justify this to herself.
3). She had some kind of personality disorder as stated by previous posters AND she is also cheating on you.
4). She is in menopause.
Page 11 of 16
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News