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Started By
Message
re: Marriage over or salvageable?
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:10 pm to DeSantis_2024
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:10 pm to DeSantis_2024
How old are y’all?
1
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:12 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
DeSantis_2024
This board is not going to solve your problem. Find a therapist. You can go by yourself first.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:12 pm to DeSantis_2024
Seems like you are confusing sex and love. The act of sex is important to a good marriage, however, love is what is most important.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:12 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
Sex has gone from 2-3 times/week when we first got married to maybe once a week now.
Is this a subtle brag? Once a week is pretty good with three kids.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:13 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
once a week now.
Show off
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:17 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
Upper 30's
And y’all have 3 young kids you said. Your wife is likely exhausted from taking care of the kids, etc.
And you said she was never the type to initiate. Can’t get upset at her being the person she has always been since the beginning.
You need to talk with her about all this and go talk with a counselor.
Also…,like others mentioned…..no where in your posts do you mention even still loving your wife. Why is that?
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:23 pm to DeSantis_2024
Bruh! Sex once a week is pretty good after 10 years and three kids. My wife is traumatized so much from being pregnant that I’m lucky I get any at all.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:23 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
thing, I struggle with some aspects of the parenting like navigating a 4 year old's temper tantrum.
quote:
I think we'd be fine without the kids, but the kids are seriously stressing me out
You should take a serious look at your life and your priorities. Your wife comes first. Your children come second. You come third. Always.
Based on your comments in this thread, you need to do some soul searching. You’re selfish and you’re short sited and immature.
You want a divorce because your wife only has sex with you once a week and doesn’t initiate it everyday and your biggest stress is that your 4 year old throws temper tantrums?
You sound like a blessed and ungrateful man who ignores what he has so he can selfishly desire more.
This post was edited on 11/27/22 at 6:25 pm
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:24 pm to DeSantis_2024
Young kids test the marriage.
Normal.
Hang in there.
Things get much better. When the kids start giving back (sports, school activities, dances, etc.), it takes it to whole better level
Normal.
Hang in there.
Things get much better. When the kids start giving back (sports, school activities, dances, etc.), it takes it to whole better level
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:25 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
Sex has gone from 2-3 times/week when we first got married to maybe once a week now
quote:
Upper 30's
Hold on tight, brother.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:27 pm to DeSantis_2024
I have read through this thread in search of follow up statements from the OP that would be worthy of ending his marriage, breaking up his children’s nuclear family, and financially dividing a life time of accumulated property and wealth and I have not found it.
I think the OP is being genuine in his solicitation for advice so I will offer a few thoughts.
Choose your hard wisely.
Life is hard. Being married is hard. Being a father is hard. But those sacrifices fail to compare to many new burdens and sacrifices you will find if you choose to walk.
Although your frustrations are valid, they aren’t problems. Deaths, health complications, income losses, infidelity, and countless other tragedies are when you will be truly tested.
I think the OP is being genuine in his solicitation for advice so I will offer a few thoughts.
Choose your hard wisely.
Life is hard. Being married is hard. Being a father is hard. But those sacrifices fail to compare to many new burdens and sacrifices you will find if you choose to walk.
Although your frustrations are valid, they aren’t problems. Deaths, health complications, income losses, infidelity, and countless other tragedies are when you will be truly tested.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:30 pm to LSUShock
quote:
Get a calendar to start the year and plan out the following. Don't waver once it's planned. - Dinner at a restaurant with your wife every other month. Pick a new place each time. Get dressed up and get a baby sitter. It's worth the investment. That's 6 dates you would never have gone on with your wife. If you're married another 40 years. That's 240 dates. - 4 Family stay cation or day trips. Once a quarter. Doesn't have to be lavish or expensive, but plan it and do it. Go to a museum. Go visit some town with the largest ball of twine or some crazy claim to fame. Go bowling. Go camping. Do something you wouldn't think of doing if it came up on any given Saturday, but can give your family some excitement as the day gets closer. If your oldest kid is 10, that's 32 memories you make with them before they are on their own. - 4 dinners as a family. Go out once a quarter. Not impulsive, but planned. Again, nothing lavish. Go eat pizza. Go get burgers. Go some place you haven't been to in years. - 1 event for you, and ideally your wife as well, that you can both build your year around. Ideally health related. A 5k. A tough mudder. A marathon. Something that challenges you and keeps you disciplined. If you're 40 and live to 80. That's 40 year defining experiences. Plan your life so that all the other drudgeries of life don't plan it for you. Your family will reap the rewards.
Love this
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:30 pm to DeSantis_2024
Sounds like you married someone you could live with rather than someone you can't live without. Don't be a quitter is my advise.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:31 pm to DeSantis_2024
If you’re a trashy narcissist, file for divorce. If you put your kids and family first, go all in.
Marriage is a commitment and a decision. There are situations where divorce is better, but what you describe is just marriage.
Marriage is a commitment and a decision. There are situations where divorce is better, but what you describe is just marriage.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:34 pm to DeSantis_2024
Get a new model baw
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:34 pm to DeSantis_2024
Divorced three times…I got nothing
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:34 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
She just doesn't really need sex in her life, she's more than content to just being a mother now
I’d bet if you asked your wife if this was true she’d think you were nuts. 99% of smothers would disagree with you. You need to communicate better.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:34 pm to DeSantis_2024
Ron, did you really have a fling with Emerald?
She said the vax had lucifer in it. so I hope you ran far away from the cray.
She said the vax had lucifer in it. so I hope you ran far away from the cray.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:34 pm to The People
Fair points.
Past few years have been tough in other areas outside the marriage including with my career and with my parents health. I used to think that now matter how big the problem I could solve it if I just worked hard enough at it, but life has humbled me there. There is the chance that that funk I’m in in those areas has given me a glass half empty view of my marriage. I mean my wife gave me three healthy kids and actually has lost weight since before she got pregnant the first time, I should consider myself blessed.
Past few years have been tough in other areas outside the marriage including with my career and with my parents health. I used to think that now matter how big the problem I could solve it if I just worked hard enough at it, but life has humbled me there. There is the chance that that funk I’m in in those areas has given me a glass half empty view of my marriage. I mean my wife gave me three healthy kids and actually has lost weight since before she got pregnant the first time, I should consider myself blessed.
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