re: How does a family do it financially

Make a similar to wage as y’all do and it’s not difficult at all. Just don’t live above your means. My wife said she wants an SUV a month ago which would be around $400 a month and I had to tell her no. We have two paid off vehicles that are in great condition so it makes no sense.

They’re poor. The median American is just that.

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How do they afford life?

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Ramen noodles for dinner but them new Jason Tatum Jordan’s fire fr

My wife and I make about $115k total. No kids. Mortgage is $500 a month. 1 vehicle note. All of our money could easily dissapear if we let it. Idk how folks with kids do i5

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the average middle class income is 80k a year for a family of 4-5. How do they afford life?

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They don't:

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max out our 401k’s

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save 1500 a month.

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They live with:

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credit card debt

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student loan debt

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Unless you live in NYC you make plenty.
My wife and I are in the same salary band as you and your wife. We have kids, mortgage, 401k etc. we both have perfect credit ratings.
We get by just fine. We just got back from a weekend in the mountains in Colorado at an air bnb with friends.
Where does your money go?

It’s difficult to save the first couple of years if you’re paying daycare. Gets better after.

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One bad thing is we do eat out 3ish times a week

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If you're "eat out" means the average sit down restaurant, then that's approx $50/meal after tip. That's $150/week, $600/month, $7200/year out of your pocket right there. 5% of your pay per year gone on restaurants.

I absolutely count my blessings every morning when I wake up because I've been on medical leave from work for the last 18 months. I had short term disability through my employer that was a little over $400/week to float me for the first six months, but since then I've been living on my savings and totally pinching pennies. Saving gas right now is the big thing - I don't go to town just to run one errand, I combine several and usually couple that to a doctors appointment. Leisure driving (which I love to do - especially going to the MS Coast) has been out of the question. I don't even go to the gym unless I've got other things to do like going to the grocery and pharmacy. It sucks, but I'm spending very little money right now and hopefully when I get cleared by my doc in a week or two I'll be able to go back to work and replenish my savings. I can't stress enough to people how important it is to have savings in the event of something like what I'm going through.

My husband and I no longer have children at home and we have the same income. When the kids left we started eating dinner at restaurants vs. a strict grocery budget cooking at home, we save and invest a way bigger percentage, travel budget increased at least 3 fold, etc. We have never had big credit card debt and never lived house poor even with children at home. My kids all have college degrees and bigger houses than the one they grew up in and much nicer cars. And only one has a child.