The darkest/most twisted/most sick version of The Office

How would you write it?

Here's my ideas:

1. Oscar gets aids.

2. Angela has an abortion.

3. Jim gets in a crash driving home drunk, kills someone else in the crash, and gets sent to jail for it.

4. Kevin gets chased and beat up by a bookie for outstanding gambling debt.

5. While Jim is in jail, Pam cheats on him with Darrell and sometimes Toby.

6. Gabe begins stalking Erin and/or Val.

7. Oscar and Creed team up to make and sell meth. Oscar needs the money for his aids treatments.

8. Kelly, Erin, Ryan, and Robert California party one night together, they have a drunken orgy, Robert impregnates both girls, but convinces both that Ryan is the dad by lying and saying he's gotten a vasectomy. Ryan thinks his life is screwed and commits suicide. Robert resigns and moves far away, leaving Kelly and Erin to raise the kids themselves.

9. Stanley's wife catches him cheating with Cynthia again, and hires a hitman to take them both out.

10. Dwight becomes more and more bitter over never being promoted, quits his job, and decides to work at Shrute Farms full time. He marries Angela, and they turn Schrute Farms into an orphanage b/c of Dwight's need to give orders and Angela's regret over having an abortion. Erin and Kelly decide to give up their kids to Dwight and Angela, and Meredith's kids also join the orphanage after she dies due to alcohol poisoning.

Erin and Kelly move to New York City to get away and be young, but years later Erin becomes depressed when she realizes she did to her own kid what her parents did to her. Erin then commits suicide, and Kelly is in a mental wreck after having her boyfriend and best friend commit suicide.

Kelly turns into a prostitute, becomes addicted to crack, and is eventually killed by an aging, slightly senile Robert California who was in town and in need of some loving one night in the Big Apple, and just happened to run into Kelly. California realized it was Kelly after he started talking to her, and he remembered how Kelly had written that e-mail about how she wished he would die, so he decided to make her dreams for him come true for herself.

Dwight and Angela raise the orphans in a tortured, rigid environment that they all wish to escape. Jim knows what's going on, and he and Cathy (his new wife after divorcing Pam) sneak the orphans out of Schrute Farms in the middle of the night. However, Jim had a drinking problem he never got help for, and was drunk that night as he was every night. On their way leaving Schrute Farm in Jim's SUV, Jim runs off the highway and everyone dies in a wreck.

The last scene of the series is a split screen shot. On one side is Robert California, pushing himself up off the hotel bed after he just got done choking out Kelly. Robert just looks around with that weird head shake and smile. On the other side of the screen is Jim's flipped car on the side of the road with Jim and everyone inside, and then Gabe walks into the scene out of no where and just starts laughing maniacally.

The End.